That voice whispering "If I leave, I've failed"?It's not your conscience.It's the last thread of control your toxic partner clings to.

As a trauma recovery coach, I've watched brilliant, capable women stay in soul-crushing relationships for one devastating reason: They'd rather endure abuse than face the shame of a "failed" marriage.

Let's dismantle this lie together.

The "Failure" Myth That Hurts Most

We're taught:✔ "Quitters never win"✔ "Marriage is forever"✔ "Love means sacrifice"

But here's what no one tells you:Staying in toxicity isn't commitment—it's self-betrayal wearing a mask of loyalty.

5 Ways You're Actually Failing By Staying

1️⃣ Failing Yourself

* Would you let a friend live with constant criticism, control, or walking on eggshells?

* Staying teaches your nervous system: "Your pain doesn't matter."

2️⃣ Failing Your Children (If You Have Them)

* Kids learn relationships by watching yours

* Toxic lesson: "Love = enduring disrespect"

* Healthy lesson: "Self-respect is non-negotiable"

3️⃣ Failing Your Partner

* Enabling abuse prevents their rock-bottom moment

* Sometimes the most loving act? Letting consequences happen

4️⃣ Failing Your Future

* Imagine 5 years from now:

* Staying: Same exhaustion, deeper despair

* Leaving: New hobbies, healthy love, peace

5️⃣ Failing Your Potential

* Toxic relationships consume the energy you could pour into:

* Your career

* Your passions

* Your joy

The Truth About "Failure"

Leaving isn't giving up—it's leveling up.

Think of it like:

* Quitting a job that pays in misery

* Returning spoiled food to the grocery store

* Canceling a gym membership that only offers broken equipment

You wouldn't call those failures.Why label self-liberation as one?

Your Freedom Toolkit

🔨 Reframe the Narrative

* Old belief: "Divorce = I'm unlovable"

* New truth: "Choosing myself = My first act of real love"

📝 Write a Letter from Your Future Self

* "Dear [Your Name],Thank you for leaving on [date]. Because you did, I now..."

👯 Build Your Exit Team

* Therapist

* Divorce coach (like me!)

* The friend who always believed in you

💸 Calculate the Cost of Staying

* Literally. Add up:

* Therapy bills from stress

* Lost work opportunities

* The life you're not living

You're not losing a marriage.You're gaining:☀️ Mornings without dread🤝 Relationships that fill your cup🧠 Space to rediscover who you really are

💜 Ready to rewrite your definition of "failure"?Book a free discovery call with me: https://www.susiemillerwendel.com/coaching-services/book-a-session

P.S. Which of the "5 failures" hit hardest? Comment below—your courage helps others see their worth.

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