"I have to lock her in because the snatch must flow."

As any dead-eyed married man will tell you, the sex is always hottest until that first bite of wedding cake.

Fact.

Once in a secure relationship (and nothing is more secure for a woman than marriage -- the law sees to that) a woman’s sex drive plummets.

Fact.

Women pack on the pounds after getting married.

Fact.

Your wife’s pussy will always be the same.

"If I don’t marry her, she’ll leave me. And then I’ll be alone."