What is a healthy body image? Do you have one or do you know of anyone who has one, and if they do, are they truly satisfied with what their body looks like? Hi, Sandra Vernon with the art of connection and on today's podcast I will be addressing the issue of body image and how we can choose to reign in this runaway negative thought pattern that does more harm than good and achieving the goals for fitness, health and a joy filled life. And when we ran in our thought pattern to conform to a positive body image, we begin to a positive movement and momentum that is perspective changing and life impacting. I go through three fleeting moments where my body image is positive and accepting. I'm working on and making progress in these positive body images being more sustainable, but I still struggle with longer periods where I silently yet nearly constantly remind myself what my mirror self tells me. And at eight pretty or I see a picture of myself and I think a hug. I look like a turtle and then I even say meaner comments like I look like Jabba the hut or that my neck and Chin makes me look like an Iguana. Wow. How mean is that this self-loathing is harmful and it strengthens the message. Shame gives us and the message is all about image, body, image and appearance which is fleeting in and of itself. The sands of time shift, the inevitable occurs as gravity does its work. Sure we can slow the process. We can live our most healthy, healthy self and these are good things to do to live healthy, but the obsession to achieve and maintain a look that is computer curated or photo edited is so unfair. It's unfair because it's impossible to achieve. It's. It's what the media shows us. Why the obsession? Obsession with appearance. Why not focus on overall wellbeing? Instead, after all, should our happiness be based on our appearance and how we view our body? Shouldn't life be more about how we are walking out our life with purpose, living out our personal mission and vision? Shouldn't we live life and have it be how successful our relationships, our and our personal health, the obsession with appearance will fall into its place, proper place. Then when we focus on these other things, and it is a process to go through the building up of a healthy, positive body image, it takes time to curate positive affirmations, speaking to yourself in a positive manner, letting your brain grasp the message, letting it sink in, and then uproot. The negative thinking is like weeding a garden. You get the soil cleared out and it looks great until a few days later. Weeds appear eventually with continuous weeding. They're all eradicated. The weeds from the garden and the negative self talk can be also be eradicated from our minds, but we must remain diligent in our mind. Weeding. For instance, I confess that I'm still waiting because it is a process and with me over the past several years, the things I told myself cosby to avoid dressing rooms all together and then I was only buying clothes that were big, boxy, loose and comfy. Yet these clothes though they were soft and comfy, left me feeling frumpy and unattractive, especially when I caught myself passing my image of myself in the mirror and then again the negative talk ensued so then I would go to my closet for something else to wear to look nicer and seeing clothes I want spit into each piece seemed to accuse me and shame me, leaving me feeling pretty bad about myself from the clothes on my body and clothes in a closet I could no longer wear. And then here's where the choice comes. And this is where I came to this hinge point. So today, ladies, this is our call to action. The process I went through is realizing I could continue to do what I was doing, which left me feeling unconfident and oftentimes flat out rotten about myself or I could choose to dress my body with kindness. And by this I mean choosing clothes that fit my body and in turn maybe feel a bit better. With this turning point comes forward. Momentum for change. So my hinge point, what I learned was I had a choice. I could either spend my life being at war with my body and hating it endlessly, dieting or trying some new fad out. They're shaming myself for getting to this point in the first place, using exercise as punishment rather than Movement for pleasure, or I could choose to embrace my body, move it for pleasure and live a joy filled life now and in the process of making healthy changes and increased fitness, I could start dressing like I wanted to now rather than waiting till I lost weight, which never seemed to happen. It was a horrible cycle, so I am no longer going to be miserable. I'm bummed about my size. I chose to embrace my body where it is now, and this is a process as I remind myself each day, that body image is not about how I look in the mirror or in the image I hold in my mind, but body images about how I feel about the way I look and it's a thing to be developed for me. It starts out with being okay with my current Avatar. Yeah, I liked the synology, referring to our bodies as an Avatar. Just moving toward liking my body just as it is just as I am, and here's the step by step process I took. They're really just five little steps. The first one was I created a, what I wrote, uh, what, which is really just setting a goal for myself. I was very descriptive in what I wanted to achieve for my body image. For instance, I wanted to have a body positive that is consistent and lived out loud as, as an example to others. And then I had to write a vision for myself, uh, why? Why do I want this for my life and how will my life be different in obtaining this school? I knew if I had a, a positive body image, it would impact all other parts of my life. Step two. So step one was running a goal and a vision of what do you want and why do you want it? Step two, once I had a goal and a vision for my goal, I created some action steps to get the ball rolling. You have to have momentum to make change. And creating action steps was where I had measurable goals and this was essential to see that I was making progress or tweaking things if I needed to, if I got stuck somewhere, step three, then I began doing body positive things, speaking kindly to my mirror image. I started with just a glance in the mirror because I mostly avoid them and then I built from there. Now I give myself I can't eye contact while they brush my teeth with my charcoal infused toothpaste, also known as black toothpaste and I actually check out my outfit in the mirror before leaving the house. These two practices alone were unheard of months ago. Then getting movement into my day, also known as exercise every day, and it's things that I enjoy. I have never been one who really loved the gym, but I do enjoy pilates and Barre classes. I enjoy walking and hiking and riding my horses. Accountability is key too, and this is where face society was birthed and flourishes in community and accountability without competition. So I surrounded myself with ladies who encouraged me, helped me over and challenges and I did the same for them. These things were my action steps in step three, step four. The next step was an obstacle I had to step over. But Oh, did it make a huge difference? Here's what I did. I started shopping for nice looking clothes that fit me well, but I was so out of practice I needed help and here's the help I had and I highly recommend this help because it made a huge difference in this turning point for me. And I didn't wait till all the weight was off. I didn't wait to lay. Everything was positive and everything was kosher with me. I did this for myself in process. Um, so what I did is instead of just going to and pulling clothes off racks, ones that I knew were at least one size bigger than I needed and didn't concern myself much about style or fit, just coverage. I sought help and my little helper is stitch fix. I love this company, stitch fix. And there are others like them, but this is the one I'm familiar with. I've used them since I started this process and continue to use them as my body. My avatar transitions, yes, I'm not the size I prefer to be and it is a size that is no longer appearance driven, but health driven in time. I know I'll get there, but I'm allowing myself clothes that make me feel lovely, make me feel comfortable and nice and not oversized so I no longer dressing frumpy clothes that just cover me, but I dress in a way that honors my body and the process I'm going through, and I'm doing this by dressing in a word Nice. The size issue is part of the process too, but I choose to no longer obsessed about it or saying mean things to myself about it. Step five, then I began making changes my health and fitness routine changes that were viable, sustainable, and reasonable changes that were no longer driven by our youth. Obsessed media propagated culture, but changes that I knew were good for me, good for my mindset, good for my health, and through it all, I realized that we mom's model body image to our children in profound ways. Perhaps this alone will be the impetus for change to model positive image to your children in the midst of your process, even before you feel better about yourself. Body image, it is just our avatar and how we feel about it and it is too easy to be unkind to what we live in. It takes work to change the negative messages we tell ourselves, and these messages are reinforced by our society. Truly anything worthwhile takes effort and work, but it is so worth it. We become better versions of ourselves as we leave the hindrance, the negative body image that once changed, changed our souls and embrace with love where our soul lives in this magnificent body. Until next time, this is Sandra Vernon with the art of connection. You can follow me on face society, on instagram or facebook and coming soon. Pinterest.