Lately, I have been singularly obsessed with Haikus. I’m not particularly adept at writing them and high school me would rather have showed up naked to class than embrace that level of constraint. Maybe it’s because turning 43 did something to my brain, or maybe it’s the impending political apocalypse - whatever the case I am mired in obsession. 

No matter how much reckless abandon might soothe our weary souls, there’s just something comforting about a solid boundary. The winds of the universe may howl and blow, but the sun always rises, the moon guides the tides, and a Haiku will always be 7-5-7. Sometimes, this fact alone helps me sleep at night.

I have made and broken many promises to myself over the years, fallen short of my own expectations, and found myself screaming into the void - exasperated. When it comes to planning and basic executive function, ADHD is a bitch. I’ve got so many ideas chasing one another through my head like coked up squirrels (as I write this, I’ve just Googled “coked up squirrels”). As the infamous tangerine tyrant once said, “I have concepts of a plan”. 

Leaning into the example set by the restraint of the tenacious little Haiku, I’ve taken a deep breath and managed to form at least a rough outline of what I hope to accomplish professionally. First, you dear reader, deserve a little god damn consistency. I’m going to set a schedule with a time and date deadline for publishing one essay and one poem each week. Then, I’m going to work on upping my paid content game by providing you with a monthly “special edition” newsletter full of bright shiny new things. Lastly, I’m creating a monthly video series called Conk’s Room where I set up my classroom and engage your frontal cortex with a little educational theater. Ambitious, but completely necessary for my sanity and self-respect.

Outside of Substack, I’m going to stick to my commitment to get the hell off of TikTok and Facebook and Instagram. I’m instead focusing my attention on Pinterest, BlueSky, and Discord (sites that feel significantly less shitty for my psyche). For my next acrobatic feat, I will build a simple website using Canva primarily for the purpose of marketing this very Substack and my editing and design services. Gasp and egads! But Deedre, I didn’t even know you did these things! Ah yes my friends, I have skills and it’s about damn time I put them to good use. 

Now for the pièce de résistance: I’m going to stop neurotically checking my notifications and catatonically scrolling feeds. Life is for the living, and online engagement should be for supplemental enrichment and entertainment, not the main event. Speaking of which, have you been outside today? Go smell some nature, or talk to some woodland creatures. It’s good for you. Who knows, maybe you’ll even be inspired to write a Haiku.

The little Haiku that could

inspired a spark

this life is good after all.

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