In which two roguish Englishmen, inspired by discontent with the rigid governance of India and fueled by a sober resolve, conceive an audacious plan to become kings in the forbidding and unknown realm of Kafiristan, armed only with their wits, maps, and a solemn pact. We observe their earnest preparation and hear from a few cynical but attentive bystanders as scepticism and curiosity swirl about their bold, if foolhardy, enterprise.