If you’ve ever found yourself staring at the ceiling in the middle of the night, mind racing, you’re not alone—and you’re not broken. Modern life glorifies busyness and overstimulation, but our nervous systems haven’t evolved to handle the constant flood of light, noise, and information. Rest isn’t wasted time. It’s medicine.

In this video, I open with a story about my father, who grew up on a quiet farm where days were shaped by natural rhythms and nights were truly dark and still. Today, we’re bombarded by hundreds of faces, screens, and choices daily—far more stimulation than our ancestors could have imagined. Our brains, which burn more calories than any other organ, have learned to conserve energy by running on autopilot. But this “habit mode” comes at a cost: to make meaningful change, we need more energy… and that requires rest.

Why Sleep Gets Harder in Midlife

Sleep disruption in perimenopause and menopause isn’t a personal failure—it’s biology. Hormonal shifts, especially the drop in progesterone and estrogen, disrupt the relaxation response that once helped us drift off easily. Suddenly, our sleep becomes light, fragmented, unpredictable.

But here’s the reframe: waking at night isn’t a malfunction. It’s part of the natural rhythm of sleep, which moves in cycles—light sleep, deep sleep, REM, and brief wakefulness between them. What’s changed isn’t our body’s need for rest, but our ability to self-soothe during those wakeful moments.

Non-Sleep Deep Rest: Your 3 A.M. Superpower

Instead of fighting sleeplessness, consider this game-changing concept: Non-Sleep Deep Rest (NSDR).

This is the practice of intentionally guiding the body and brain into a deeply relaxed state—even when you’re awake. Research shows that one hour of NSDR can restore the brain as much as four hours of regular sleep.

The key is to stop panicking and start resting. When the 3 a.m. wake-up hits, you can still recharge—just differently.

Simple Tools for the Wee Hours

Here are the practices I recommend for those sleepless stretches:

* Acceptance. Instead of spiraling into frustration, breathe and remind yourself another wave of sleep will come. You’re safe.

* Eye Relaxation Protocol. Soften your gaze or gently close your eyes—this signals safety to your brain and helps the body unwind.

* Backwards Breath. Slow, mindful exhalations calm the nervous system and slow racing thoughts.

* Restorative Pose. Settle into a comfortable, supported position. Even if you don’t drift off, your body will still recharge.

These tools train your nervous system to self-soothe—just as we once helped our babies do. Over time, your body learns that it’s safe to rest again.

The Real Secret to Energy, Weight Loss, and Well-Being

So many midlife women blame themselves for fatigue, extra weight, brain fog, and anxiety. But the truth is, lasting change requires energy—and energy begins with rest.You don’t need to force eight hours of perfect sleep. You just need to give your nervous system a chance to reset.

The takeaway:

“When your nervous system feels safe, your body can heal. When your body heals, your brain learns. And when your brain learns, midlife becomes a season of possibility—not decline.”

Next Steps

For guided NSDR practices, sleep meditations, and morning reset routines, consider purchasing ($29) Sleep Solutions on her website.

Tonight, when you wake in the wee hours, try rest instead of panic. Even when you can’t sleep, you can still restore.

My guest today was a lifelong athlete — boot camps, spin, Body Pump, you name it. But one day, she looked down and thought, “Where did all this belly fat come from?”

That moment set her on a journey that might rewrite everything you thought you knew about midlife fitness.

Lynn Sederlöf-Airisto joins me from Finland to unpack the truth about what really works for women in their 40s, 50s, and beyond — and why so many of us waste hours at the gym doing the wrong kind of exercise.

We talk about what true strength training actually is (hint: it’s not Body Pump), how to choose the right weights, and why this kind of training might just be the secret to rekindling your metabolism, reshaping your body, and reclaiming your confidence.

💪 In This Episode, We Discuss:

* Why women start losing muscle as early as age 30 — and how menopause accelerates it

* The big difference between “working out with weights” and strength training

* The science-backed formula for building strength (and saving time at the gym)

* How to find your ideal weight for training — without guesswork

* Why one set can be more effective than three (and how to get the most out of every workout)

* The truth about “bulking up” and why it’s nearly impossible for most women

* Simple mindset shifts that make lifting feel empowering, not intimidating

* How strength training supports bone density, metabolism, and insulin sensitivity

🌸 Key Quotes

“I thought if I had dumbbells in my hand and my muscles were burning, that meant I was strength training — but it turns out that’s not true.” — Lynn Sederlöf-Airisto

“Being strong is so cool. My clients start out wanting to lose weight, but end up falling in love with feeling powerful.” — Lynn Sederlöf-Airisto

“We lose muscle and bone as we age — but with the right training, we can absolutely get it back.” — Cheryl Gordon

🔗 Connect with Lynn

Website: Be Fit After 40 Instagram: @befitafter40

💫 Connect with Cheryl

Website: cherylgordonyt.comInstagram: Cheryl Gordon

Most midlife women I work with know they should take care of themselves—but guilt and old conditioning still whisper, “That’s selfish.”

My guest today, Robin Brock, shares how she flipped that narrative through the SHE Mindfulness Program. Once she began prioritizing her own health and happiness, her relationships deepened, her confidence grew, and life opened up in new and beautiful ways.

“It’s like an awakening.”

Cheryl: The funny thing is, once you started looking at life that way, your communication with your sons got richer, your health improved, and you became more vibrant in your community. You’re even doing more community service—you’re probably a better partner to your husband, too.

Robin: There are so many benefits for the people around you. For women who say, “I don’t have time,” or “It feels selfish to do something for myself,” I’d say this: when you take care of yourself, everyone benefits.

Cheryl: Exactly. You can bring your better self to everything you do. If you’re babysitting, you’ll have more energy. If you want to go back to school, your brain will be sharper.

Robin: That’s exactly what happened. I see things more clearly now. My relationships are stronger because I no longer feel that everything is solely my responsibility.

“Enhancing my life enhances everyone around me.”

Robin: My role in life may look different now than when my kids were little, but it’s just as important. My focus is on enhancing my own life—which enhances everyone around me. The stronger and healthier I am, the more I can give.

I can volunteer at the Humane Society, go back to school, or chase new dreams. I see those 90-year-old women getting their degrees and think, That’s going to be me one day!

What women gain from this program is the strength to try new things—without embarrassment or shame—even later in life.

“We were taught to serve first.”

Cheryl: I can relate. I grew up with strong messages—both from family and culture—that women were supposed to serve others. We made sure everyone else was happy before we were allowed to rest. The house had to be spotless before we could sit down with a book.

So when a woman says, “I’m going to prioritize my own needs,” she’s often labelled selfish.

Learning how to set loving boundaries and prioritize your health—that’s revolutionary.

In the SHE Mindfulness Program, we focus on three pillars:

* Losing weight through mindful eating

* Sleeping better through non-sleep deep rest

* Getting stronger through yoga and resistance training

Did those things come true for you?

“All of them.”

Robin: All of them!

I’ve always been a nighttime snacker. I could go all day without eating until dinner—but by 8 p.m., I was in the fridge, hunting for chips or chocolate.

Through mindful eating, I learned to pause. It takes about 90 seconds for a craving to pass if you let it. That’s when I’ll grab water or a book instead. And planning ahead is a game changer.

“Sleep was a big one.”

Robin: I used to sleep anywhere, anytime. But recently, I’d wake up every couple of hours—wide awake at midnight or 2 a.m.

Now, if I can’t sleep, I use the breathwork we practiced in the SHE Mindfulness Program. It calms my nervous system and quiets the racing thoughts. I’m not much of a journaler, but those few minutes of breathing do the same thing.

And I’ve stopped judging myself for resting. I used to think naps were for old people! Now, I’ll do Legs-Up-the-Wall in the afternoon, and sometimes I’ll end up resting for 20 minutes. I feel re-energized afterward.

Cheryl: That’s non-sleep deep rest—it’s one of the best things you can do for your nervous system.

Robin: Exactly. When I’m rested, I can handle cravings, stress, and emotions so much better.

“I’m more comfortable in my own skin.”

Robin: Life feels peaceful now. I’m more comfortable in my own skin.

I’ve always been confident, but the SHE Mindfulness Program gave me permission to fully embody that strength. I can say, proudly, that I’m a strong woman—without shame or apology.

“The habit brain runs the show.”

Robin: One of the biggest things I learned was how much control my habit brain had over my life. Those patterns—eating, thinking, reacting—were running automatically.

I realized how much energy it takes to fight against those patterns and how easy it is to fall back into them. That’s why I used to feel like a failure when I couldn’t stick to a plan.

The SHE Mindfulness Program helped me understand and change that. Once you know how to work with your habit brain, it’s not hard—it’s empowering.

Cheryl: That’s incredible. Thank you for sharing that. I didn’t realize just how deeply the program had impacted you. It means a lot to hear this.

Robin: You’ve changed my life, Cheryl.

“A few next steps…”

Cheryl: If you’re listening and curious about the SHE Program—but not quite ready to dive in—I have two great places to start:

* The Free Mindful Eating Guide — it teaches you the foundational practices Robin mentioned, including planning and mindful pauses.

* The Sleep Solutions Course ($29) — a mini course that includes meditations, breathwork, and tools for calming your nervous system and improving your sleep.

Have you ever secretly dreamed of writing a book one day? Or maybe you just crave a good story that makes you feel seen in midlife — with all its challenges, changes, and surprising chances for reinvention. Today’s guest proves that it’s never too late to start something bold.

Gretchen Anthony published her first novel at age 48, and her latest, Tired Ladies Take a Stand, is striking a chord with women everywhere who are tired of being everything to everyone — and are ready to claim their own space.

So if you’ve ever wondered how to balance your dreams with life’s demands, or how to spark creativity when you feel stuck, this episode will inspire you to think differently about what’s possible in midlife.

Welcome to episode number 34 of the Midlife Reset Podcast. I’m Cheryl Gordon — a yoga and mindfulness coach for midlife women who want to feel stronger, lighter, and more energized. Welcome, Gretchen! I’m so thrilled you could join us. Give us a little background — what did you do before age 48?

Gretchen Anthony: Thank you for having me! Well, I did a little bit of everything, like so many of us do. I was busy raising three boys and had a career in corporate communications for about twenty years. I juggled full-time work and contracts, we moved a few times for my husband’s career, and I was constantly trying to find balance — fulfilling daily responsibilities while still trying to do what filled my heart, with whatever energy I had left.

Cheryl Gordon: When the kids were growing up, I imagine there wasn’t a lot left over. And now your last one’s just gone off to college?

Gretchen Anthony: Yes, just off to college! We spent the weekend getting him settled — it lifts your heart, but it’s bittersweet.

Cheryl Gordon: It is hard, isn’t it? When my boys moved out, I was embarrassed to admit I had empty nest syndrome. I thought that was for people who didn’t have much else going on — but you’re always a mom, and there’s always an adjustment.

Gretchen Anthony: Exactly. I used to hear women say, “I don’t know what to do with myself now,” or “I don’t know who I am now,” and I thought, that’s sad. But when it happens, you get it. In those years before writing my novel, I was trying to figure out what’s next for me — because if I did my job right, my kids would eventually fly.

Cheryl Gordon: We are happy they’re flying, but it’s still a loss when that chapter closes.

Gretchen Anthony: Yes — that sorrow comes from knowing a huge part of your life is complete.

Cheryl Gordon: I’ve actually been an empty nester longer than I had my kids at home! They both left at 18 and never came back. I’m so proud of them, but I still miss those noisy, busy days. Anyway, did you always know you were going to write a book one day, or did that come out of the blue?

Gretchen Anthony: I always had this sense that I had a book in me. But early in my career, I wanted security — something more stable than fiction writing could offer. So I went into management consulting and corporate communications. That fulfilled a need for a while. But deep down, I still had stories and characters brewing. The older I got, the louder they became, demanding to be heard. That’s what finally pushed me to write.

The matriarch in my debut novel, Evergreen Tidings from the Baumgartners, lived in my head for five to seven years before I wrote the book. I finally thought, “She’s never getting out unless I write her down!”

Cheryl Gordon: So writing became your next chapter — no pun intended!

Gretchen Anthony: Exactly! I’d just been laid off from my corporate job and was seeing a career coach. He looked at my résumé and said, “It reads like chapters — you had a chapter where you did this, another where you did that.” And I said, “Funny you should say that, because I feel like I won’t be settled until I publish a book.” He said, “Then maybe now’s your time.” And that was at age 48.

Cheryl Gordon: So many people face a big career shift around that age — it’s inspiring to hear your story. You mentioned that your characters live inside you until they demand a voice. Is that the secret to your creativity?

Gretchen Anthony: For me, yes. The best characters are the ones who live with me for a while. When I try to force them, they’re less authentic. Writing is really about listening — to conversations, the way people talk, the little quirks of human nature. Those things inform my characters and make them feel real.

Cheryl Gordon: Your latest book — which I have right here — is Tired Ladies Take a Stand. It’s a bit autobiographical, isn’t it?

Gretchen Anthony: It is! The tagline is something like, “You’ve heard of the year of saying yes — this is the year of saying no.” It’s about four friends at two stages of life. In their twenties, they’re starting careers in San Francisco and decide to say yes to everything — adventure, opportunity, fun. Then you fast-forward to their late forties and early fifties, and they realize how toxic always saying yes can be. They have to learn to say no — and when people aren’t used to hearing that from you, chaos follows!

The story is loosely based on me and my friends in our twenties. We really did have a “say yes” year, which we jokingly called “Kiss Fest.” We didn’t take it that far, but it was a time of adventure and self-discovery.

Cheryl Gordon: I love that you bring that sense of adventure into a story about midlife women. There aren’t many novels featuring women our age as heroines — and you make it every bit as fun and compelling as the stories about twenty-somethings.

Gretchen Anthony: Thank you! Writing this book forced me to step outside myself and really look at this stage of life differently. Even though the story draws from real friendships, I had to create fully developed characters — not just carbon copies of my friends. That process made me reflect on how we’ve all changed, what still serves us, and what doesn’t.

I also realized how few books feature midlife heroines. This phase of life is huge — full of opportunities, freedoms, and challenges. It’s every bit as complex and vibrant as our twenties, just with a different perspective.

Cheryl Gordon: Exactly. And when you base characters on real friendships, you still never really know what someone’s thinking or feeling on the inside. That’s where creativity and empathy come in.

Gretchen Anthony: Right. I had to remind my real friends, “Yes, you’ll recognize yourself in the book, but these characters do dumb things! It doesn’t mean I see that in you.”

Cheryl Gordon: I won’t give too much away, but Fern — one of your main characters — faces a big decision. She’s offered an incredible career opportunity, but it makes her friends uncomfortable. It’s a great example of how hard it can be for midlife women to say no, or to prioritize themselves for a change. What do you think Fern teaches us about that?

Gretchen Anthony: Fern learns that she hasn’t been truthful — first with herself, and then with the people she loves. She has to admit what she really wants and needs. In the story, she wrote a book based on her friends’ lives, and years later it’s optioned for a film — but she never got their permission. She goes ahead anyway, thinking they’ll understand eventually.

The lesson is that when we’ve put ourselves second for so long, we can overcorrect — making choices that don’t align with our values. It’s like being on a diet: you deprive yourself for months, and then when you finally allow something, you go overboard.

As midlife women, we’re learning to find balance — to honor our needs without betraying ourselves or others. Saying no can be uncomfortable, but it’s often the most honest thing we can do.

Cheryl Gordon: That’s such a great point. When we constantly suppress our own needs to make everyone else happy, resentment builds up. I see that in mindful eating too — deprivation never works.

Cheryl Gordon: Before we wrap up, I really want to make sure we talk about what’s next for you. In January, you started The Middle Book Club — tell us about that!

Gretchen Anthony: I did! Thank you. This idea grew out of something I realized while writing and marketing Tired Ladies Take a Stand. If you look at contemporary fiction, you might think women disappear around age 40. We read so many stories about women coming of age or falling in love — then suddenly they vanish until they reappear as quirky seventy-somethings. I call it the Miss Marple effect.

Cheryl Gordon: That’s hilarious — and so true!

Gretchen Anthony: Right? I knew my book wasn’t the only one out there, and I kept hearing from readers who said how refreshing it was to see characters their own age — women balancing aging parents and adult kids, living in that “sandwich generation.”

So I started The Middle Book Club, an online community on Substack — you can find it at themiddlebookclub.com. Each month, we read a novel featuring heroines in what I call “the juicy middle” of life — because this stage really is juicy. It’s rich, complicated, and full of growth.

For October, for example, we’re reading The Change by Kirsten Miller — about three women in their 40s and 50s who discover supernatural powers and take justice into their own hands. Every month, we explore stories that reflect what we’re living, and we get to talk about them together as peers.

Cheryl Gordon: That sounds amazing — and that’s the real joy of a book club! Not just the wine and gossip kind (though no judgment there!) but one where you actually talk about the books with like-minded women.

And speaking of adventure — I know you’re also cooking up something new that combines books and travel.

Gretchen Anthony: Yes! My next chapter — and I love that we can have multiple chapters at once — is Bookish Travel, a new newsletter and travel project that builds on The Middle Book Club. My husband and I are empty nesters now, so I have more flexibility to work on the road.

The idea is to help readers turn every trip into a literary adventure. Say you’re visiting Dublin — what literary spots should you see? I just returned from our 25th anniversary trip to Ireland, so I’m full of ideas. Literary tourism is huge right now — people want to visit the places that inspired their favorite books. So this is my way to blend storytelling, travel, and community into my next venture.

Cheryl Gordon: That sounds incredible. Everyone listening — go sign up for The Middle Book Club so you’ll hear when Bookish Travel launches!

Gretchen Anthony: Yes, please do!

Cheryl Gordon: So many midlife women have travel dreams, but we often hold back — maybe because of physical limitations, or because someone else always seems to need us. But Gretchen and I both believe: it’s time for tired ladies to take a stand.

Get out there, explore those amazing book destinations Gretchen has scouted, and keep feeding that lifelong learner inside you.

And if what’s holding you back are sleepless nights, sore joints, or that sluggish midlife weight gain — I’d love for you to check out my free masterclass, The 5-Step Midlife Reset. It’s available now on my website.

You’ll discover simple practices to move from teary, tubby, and tired — to strong, happy, and energized. You’ll feel like the heroine of your own story… and maybe one day, Gretchen will write a novel about us!

Gretchen Anthony: Thank you so much, Cheryl.

Cheryl Gordon: Thank you, Gretchen, for sharing your time and wisdom today. I’m still a little starstruck getting to interview a real author!

Welcome back to the Midlife Reset Podcast, episode 33! I’m your host, Cheryl Gordon. Today, we’re diving into something every midlife woman has experienced—mood swings, irritability, that sudden sense of “I can’t believe I just snapped over nothing!”

Now, I want you to know—this isn’t just in your head. It’s real, physiological, and completely normal. Hormones, stress, sleep, and even nutrition all play a role in how we feel in midlife.

By the end of this episode, you’ll understand why your moods shift, what’s happening in your brain and body, and most importantly, practical ways to regain control, feel calmer, and protect your mental wellbeing.

Let’s start with hormones—our invisible puppeteers. Around our 40s and 50s, estrogen and progesterone start to fluctuate even more wildly than normal as the ovaries slow down. Estrogen is more than just a reproductive hormone—it affects your serotonin, the “feel good” neurotransmitter. Lower estrogen can mean lower serotonin, which can trigger anxiety, irritability, sadness, or that general “ugh” feeling. If you’re feeling scattered, more anxious than you used to or just plain cranky, it’s probably because the uptake of serotonin is lower. We’re definitely more vulnerable to stress in general without that cushion.

Progesterone, on the other hand, is like the chill hormone. It helps regulate mood, calm the nervous system, and even supports sleep. So when progesterone drops, you can feel more anxious, tense, or snappy than usual. When my progesterone levels tanked in perimenopause, sleep became almost impossible overnight. We need progesterone to signal the production of melatonin, which helps us feel sleepy. The relaxation nerves don’t get the signalling they need to cue the relaxation response if progesterone is low.

And don’t forget cortisol, the stress hormone. Last week, we discussed this glucocorticoid compound in more detail so you may want to refer back to episode 32. We talked all about stress and hormones and weight gain. Good stuff.

Cortisol rises when we’re tired, overwhelmed, or stressed, and it works hand-in-hand with our sex hormones to influence mood. High cortisol + fluctuating estrogen and progesterone? That’s the recipe for emotional turbulence. Isn’t that how we feel, girlfriend, in midlife? Like we’re on a crazy roller coaster and some sadist somewhere has the stick shift.

To add insult to injury, all the running around we did to keep everyone else happy and safe created a lot of stress. This constantly stimulated the adrenals to pump out that cortisol. Rushing to get the kids on time… creating perfect holiday memories for a family of 18… worrying all day at work about your sick neighbour… all that just wore those little glands right out. Soooo, when we get to midlife, the adrenals, which should take up a little of the estrogen/progesterone production, are just offline.

Those mood swings you’re feeling? They’re not a character flaw. They’re a signal that your body is adjusting to new hormonal realities.

Now here’s the big take away!!! Hormones do their own thing without you directing them. That’s when we feel like we’re on the crazy train ride. BUT.. wait for it…. As a human with a super brain, you have the ability to wrest control back from the automatic pilot.

All the magazine articles and wellness experts advice to eat carefully, exercise more and meditate. But they don’t explain exactly how, why and really, what to do when old habits die really slow. How many times have you had those very goals every New Year’s?

Let’s dive in to what you can start now, small steps and simply, to move toward better mood and sharper focus.

Shaping hormonal responses in every day life means paying attention to your every day habits. Yup… it’s that lifestyle stuff again—sleep, movement, and nutrition— they can either amplify those mood swings or help you ride them more smoothly.

* Sleep: Poor sleep disrupts your hormones even further, lowers serotonin, and makes cortisol spikes worse. Feeling cranky after a night of tossing and turning? That’s your brain on low serotonin and high cortisol. Changing habits is super hard when you are running on empty. Stay tuned and we’ll talk strategies around this.

* Movement: Gentle exercise like yoga, walking, or strength training boosts endorphins, which balance mood. Even a 15 minute practice can start the process. The big key is consistency.

* Nutrition: Foods rich in protein, healthy fats, and fibre stabilize blood sugar, which prevents mood swings fuelled by glucose spikes and crashes. Midlife women are particularly sensitive to blood sugar fluctuations and issues with insulin. This means prioritizing planning your food, not running on empty or cutting out essential nutrients in the interest of cutting calories.

* Mindfulness & Stress Reduction: Breathing exercises, meditation, journaling—even 5 minutes a day—lower cortisol, which directly improves emotional resilience. Mindfulness won’t inspire your husband to change being sloppy. It won’t make your boss automatically kinder. It won’t get your kids to call. BUT it can shift how your body responds to these stressors, which shifts the hormones.

It’s all connected—sleep better, eat smarter, move mindfully, and your mood swings start to soften.

Now we look at making this happen in your life, as it is now. I don’t want to make any grandiose plans or resolutions that will be ditched in week two. We’ve all done that.

Here are five quick tools that build a healthier lifestyle. My suggestion is that you pick one and work on that until it’s habitual. That might take 3 days or 3 weeks. We’re all coming at this from different angles.

I mentioned earlier that habits are hard to change when we’re super tired.

The brain simply does not have the resources to process change when you’re stressed. So our first strategy should be to choose a tool that is most helpful for you to cope with stressors in your life.

Which one of these do you think will make the biggest impact and will be the easiest to adopt?

Tool 1: Mindful Check-InSpend 2–3 minutes noticing your mood without judgment. Name it. “I feel frustrated.” “I feel anxious.” Labeling emotions actually calms the brain’s amygdala and gives you space to respond, not react. (Practice 3 minute breathing space)

Tool 2: Breathwork for Immediate CalmTry this breathing method: Inhale until you fill your lungs, then inhale a little more. Exhale and sigh out the mouth. Repeat 3 x. This “double inhale” massages the heart a little extra which tells your nervous system it’s safe to relax.

Tool 3: Movement as Mood ResetEven a short walk outside or a gentle yoga stretch can shift cortisol, boost serotonin, and reset your mood. Bonus: sunlight exposure early in the day helps regulate melatonin for better sleep. We mentioned earlier that even 15 minutes/day is an effective dose. Try these quick stretches with me right now. (Side bend, twist, cat/cow)

Tool 4: Blood Sugar AwarenessEat protein at every meal and limit refined carbs. Keeping your blood sugar stable stabilizes your mood. Midlife women often overlook this, but it makes a huge difference. Research is suggesting that an active midlife woman might need 90 grams or more protein per day. Aim to find whole food sources rather than protein drinks and supplements. Lovingly feeding your body makes your nervous system very happy. Mindful Eating is a great practice and I have a free guide to get you started. There will be a link in the show notes.

Tool 5: Self-Compassion

If people heard the vicious commentary running in my head some days, they would be shocked! I can be really mean to myself. During my weight loss and using the SHE Mindfulness program, I learned to recognize and reframe a lot of that self critical thinking. You know what I found really helped? Placing my hands over my heart, like this, closing my eyes briefly and saying something comforting to myself. Like you would to a small child or pet who was upset. Let’s try it cuz I know it sounds too basic.

Here’s an important mindset shift: mood swings aren’t a weakness—they’re your body talking to you. They’re asking for rest, movement, nutrition, or emotional care. If we listen instead of resist, we can reduce their frequency and intensity.

Pema Chodron says that what we resist will keep coming back to visit us until we let it in. Some of teachers say “what we resist, persists”.

Think of it like tuning an instrument. Hormones, stress, and lifestyle factors are the strings. When one is off, everything sounds discordant. With attention, mindfulness, and practical strategies, you can bring yourself back in tune.

So today we talked about why midlife mood swings happen, the role of hormones and cortisol, and simple tools to help you feel steadier and happier.

If you’re ready to take the next step, I have a free Mindful Eating Guide that pairs beautifully with these strategies, helping you nourish your body without stress or guilt. It’s all about small, kind, consistent steps—perfect for midlife women. There is also the Sleep Solutions Course ($19) that expands some of these self care tools, especially ones you can use in the middle of the night.

And if this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend who might need a little extra support, and subscribe so you never miss an episode of the Midlife Reset Podcast.

Remember: your moods don’t define you, but the way you respond to them can empower you to thrive through midlife and beyond.

Do you look in the mirror and think… ‘What on earth happened to me?’”

It’s not like you’re being vain. It’s about the extra weight, bloating, the discomfort that creep in during midlife—making you feel unlike yourself. Today I’m sharing how hormones, stress, and mindful eating all play a role in midlife weight—and why the gentlest, most effective changes are often the ones we overlook.

Welcome to the Midlife Reset Podcast, episode #32. I’m your host, Cheryl Gordon and today I want to share a few secrets about how to lose midlife weight, not with deprivation diets or crazy exercise, but by reducing stress. Here’s why it’s so powerful.

As I got to menopause, I felt so bewildered by all this extra flesh. I tried to exercise, eat healthy.

And it wasn’t about vanity. I’m a 62 year old grama. I’m totally allowed to be padded and I’m totally done trying to impress anyone But it just wasn’t me. And I know that those excess pounds put additional pressure on my joints, increase my risk for chronic disease and make clothes shopping yucky.

I don’t think most of us care about the pouchy belly or stretch marks any more. Those are badges of honour, my friend! But I do like to dress up and not have to tug at my waistband all day. Or feel bloated and unhealthy.

Because I’m a yoga therapist, I’m very aware of the dangers of low calorie and deprivation diets. One of the biggest risks for midlife women, if you’re say consuming under 1400 calories per day, is loss of muscle and bone tissue. You’d have to be lifting heavy to maintain it and it’s almost impossible to get the protein and other nutrition you’d need at that level. And almost every diet program and app prescribes a serious calorie deficit so you can shed pounds. A quick fix sells.

And I had injured myself enough times taking up aggressive exercise regimens that I didn’t want to go down that rabbit hole.

But when I looked in the mirror, my first thought was to criticize myself and threaten to put stricter measures in place. Like I was truant. Or a bad girl.

All that did was make me feel worse which aggravated my stress levels.

Does any of this ring true my friend? What if it wasn’t stricter food guidelines or more vigorous exercise that you needed? What if was a gentler, kinder method of shedding the excess pounds in harmony with your body and life?

I’ve put a clear program of Mindful Eating together that I can send you for free. It’s how I lost the menopausal weight and it doesn’t cut out food groups or make you feel embarrassed because you have a lapse now and then. More details on that later.

Let’s dive in as to what’s really going on behind the scenes with our midlife weight gain.

As we enter our 40s and 50s, several key hormones begin to fluctuate:

Estrogen declines as the ovaries gradually go offline.  Estrogen promotes the accumulation of subcutaneous fat, and the loss of estrogen with menopause is associated with an increase in visceral fat.  Prior to menopause, the female fat distribution is more centered on thighs, hips and breasts as subcutaneous fat.  As estrogen levels decline, this shifts to visceral, or abdominal, fat.  This type of fat is more associated with diabetes and cardiovascular disease so it’s not desirable.  

Falling estrogen levels can also lead to a decrease in serotonin, contributing to feelings of sadness, anxiety, and irritability. The loss of estrogen can result in decreased density of receptors, which are involved in serotonin signaling, and lower serotonin activity.  You can see why midlife women start to get a little cranky.  We become more vulnerable to stress due to the hormonal shift.

When levels of estrogen and progesterone are balanced, estrogen promotes fat storage, while progesterone helps burn it for energy. Some studies suggest it may also have an anti-glucocorticoid effect in adipose (or fat) tissue, potentially reducing the impact of stress hormones on fat storage.  Glucocorticoids are a class of steroid hormones that play a key role in how the body handles stress.  Cortisol is the main hormone.  More on that soon.

Estrogen and aldosterone can cause water retention, while progesterone is a natural diuretic, helping to reduce swelling and water weight.  When progesterone levels are low, especially relative to estrogen, it can disrupt this balance, potentially leading to more fat storage, particularly in the abdominal area. 

Women often don’t have testosterone on their own radar but it plays a crucial role in midlife weight gain.  As testosterone drops, muscle mass decreases.  Muscle tissue is a metabolic powerhouse!  Starting as early as our 30’s, we can lose up to 2% per year, and this loss speeds up in our 40s and 50s. 

Muscle tissue burns more calories than fat tissue, even at rest. This means a higher percentage of your daily energy expenditure (the calories you are burning up) comes from maintaining muscle mass. Building muscle through strength training boosts your basal metabolic rate (BMR), the number of calories your body burns just to keep functioning. 

Less muscle means a slower metabolism, which can lead to weight gain, less energy, and even a higher risk of injury.  If we are scared of hurting ourselves, we move less, lose more muscle… it’s a vicious circle.

Now let’s get back to stress and cortisol.  Earlier we  mentioned that this hormone is the main one in that group of glucocorticoids.  It is produced in the adrenals.  These are small glands, one on the right and one on the left, just above your kidneys.  Every time, throughout your whole life, that anything creates a potential survival threat, the adrenals kick out some stimulation to the nervous system.  It’s a marvelous and proven system that has kept humans thriving for millenia.  But the kinds of things that qualify as survival threats can be a loud noise, too many unknown people in a confined space, worry about paying bills, odd smells… it’s endless.  And in our modern, complicated lives, the nervous system is completely overwhelmed by potential threats.

When cortisol stays high for too long—whether from stress, over-exercising, or lack of sleep—it signals your body to store fat, especially around the belly. That’s because your body thinks it needs to conserve energy for a crisis, even if that “crisis” is just daily stress. 

Cortisol can increase appetite, especially for carbohydrates, by triggering specific mechanisms in the brain and body. It upregulates appetite-stimulating neuropeptides while inhibiting leptin, a satiety hormone.  It enhances dopamine release in the brain, leading to cravings for palatable, energy-dense foods like carbohydrates.

Cortisol triggers the breakdown of glycogen into glucose, flooding your system with extra fuel to escape the perceived threat—except there’s nothing to actually run from. It promotes the breakdown of proteins in muscle tissue to provide amino acids for energy, particularly for gluconeogenesis (converting non-carbohydrate sources into glucose). And as we will study further in this course, that spike in glucose triggers an insulin response, and insulin’s job is to store fat—especially in the belly.

And breaking down muscle is not a good direction to go in!  Cortisol can inhibit protein synthesis, hindering muscle growth, and also antagonizes the actions of anabolic hormones like insulin, further contributing to muscle loss.  

Managing stress is such a KEY to weight management. I think we hear that a lot but who can live on a mountain top or quit their job?

Yoga and mindfulness tools should be, and can be, brought into your everyday world. It’s great to go to a class but it’s pulling out what you’ve learned in the moment when cravings hit… that’s where results lie.

That’s why I’ve created the Mindful Eating Guide. It’s a common sense, step by step protocol for learning how to eat in harmony with your unique needs in the moment. You can attend social occasions. Enjoy your favourite foods. Just drop all the diet drama.

The essence of the program is careful planning, tools like journaling and really paying attention to yourself for a change. It transformed how I interact with food and cleared up a lot of those “bad girl” messages that made me feel truant.

Don’t get me wrong… I’m all about the fun. In fact, WTF? That was mine … but my acronym meant “where’s the fun?” Gotta figure out how it all morphed so terribly wrong.

Anyway…

Today’s topic is about F-U-N!

I’ve been in places in my life where it wasn’t much fun. I bet you have too.

What I didn’t really understand was that I was making a choice. Yup. A choice about the fun. I can make fun happen at a funeral (I’m bound to get letters on that one!). Today I want to share how you can make the mundane more marvelous with mindfulness. And bring on the FUN!

Here’s the thing: life looks busy, loud, and fun on Instagram. But what about when the phone is quiet, the kids are gone, and the house feels a little too still? That’s when the restlessness creeps in. Today, I want to show you how to flip that loneliness into joy—and make fun a choice, not an accident.

Do you like to have fun? Of course! No one signs up for the class “How to be Serious”. Our default wiring is all about worrying, fretting and ruminating. I don’t think anyone needs a class in that.

So we DO sign up for all the fun things… travel, parties, shopping, wine with girlfriends, redecorating. And we post all the photos on insta and tell everyone that we are SOOOO BUSY.

But, girlfriend, what about when it gets quiet for a bit? Phone’s not binging or buzzing. No parties right now. Actually, you feel a little burnt out from it all. Hard to settle to sleep. You might feel restless, lonely, like there should be more? You must be missing out because other people seem so much happier or important.

So you start to scroll… plan a trip… buy something online… reach for a snack or a nice glass of wine. Anything to fill in the quiet spot… distract you from that uncomfortable loneliness or boredom or restlessness.

I totally get it.

Around menopause, my weight gain was really bothering me. And there were too many quiet moments where my discomfort got really, well, uncomfortable. I knew that I was emotionally eating to distract from those awkward times.

My kids were busy with their own lives. I was sort of retired and my friends all seemed super busy with their jobs or their kids. After decades of being in the thick of things, I was lonely and left behind. That hurt.

We have all put in decades of building our knowledge base. Putting love into so many things. I guess I just thought that there would be this pot of gold here at the end of the rainbow. You know, life knocking on my door and saying “here’s the meaning of it all” or “congratulations oh wise woman, we revere you”.

In yoga philosophy, we practice not grasping for things. Not being materialistic. Denying the ego. Like the image of the wise figure on the mountain top, serenely meditating. That wasn’t my experience unfortunately. I did not feel serene. All the good mountain tops were taken.

Here’s what I discovered.

There’s no phoning it in. If we’re going to experience the life we really want, we have to reach out and make it happen.

We were willing to do this when we were younger. We dreamed of a career, went to school. We hunted around for a good mate, bought a great house, made a life for ourselves. But we have absorbed some crazy cultural myth that now we’ve graduated from that effort. Based on our age and experience, we can just sit back and life will find us.

I hear this from my friends and clients often. The desire to just sit back and see what unfolds. It is partly the yoga philosophy talking. We don’t want to be greedy or egotistical.

Here’s the truth my friends. You can just phone it in. Wait and see what happens. Be reactionary rather than visionary. But my bet is that you are going to feel restless with that. You’re too smart and talented to be battered about by the waves of fate.

My guess is that mostly what I’m hearing from my friends and clients is exhaustion. They have been self sacrificing and putting that finger in the dike for so long that there is little left over for their own self development.

That’s where I was at. Until I just looked in the mirror and said, that’s it. It FINALLY sunk in that there was no prince charming, no magic potion, no yoga fairy that was going to show me the way to go.

The protocol I used to find my way to losing 25 pounds, feeling energized and motivated again has become the SHE Mindfulness Program. I really want to share this with you so you can shape your life, not just phone it in.

First step? Living fully means challenging yourself with goals. Big goals and dreams.

Now why would you bother with that stuff? I had lots of dreams that never came true. I had tried shooting for goals and been disappointed in the past. At some point, can’t I just drift along and never feel that angst again???

Here’s why you can’t just fluff it away.

The discomfort you expose yourself to – on purpose – while shooting for goals and dreams reveals the thoughts that cause you discomfort when things are quiet.

Remember the loneliness, restlessness, boredom that we mentioned before? When the phone is quiet and no one is around and not much is happening. There are thoughts that are running through your mind during those periods. They are unkind, judgmental, repetitive thoughts. They drive us to behave and say things we would rather not in a different frame of mind.

They drive us to eat chips at night when we’re not really hungry. Those thoughts pick at our brain until we’re exhausted and snap at our husbands. They knock us down when new invitations come up, eat away at our confidence.

That’s not fun.

So I made some goals. The first one was to lose 10 pounds. It was daunting. It doesn’t sound like a lot of weight to some people but to me, it was Mount Everest. I was stressed just thinking about all the food I was going to have to cut out and extra exercise I’d had to find time and energy for.

But then I applied mindfulness to the task. Which means being aware of my moment to moment experience AND meeting those feelings with kindness, curiosity and non judgment.

I faced those b****y thoughts when I wanted chips or I was afraid I’d not be successful at my goal. I’m not enough. I don’t deserve to get thin. I’m going to be old and alone. I’m too old to try new things. Everyone else has something that makes their life amazing but I missed out.

In the SHE Mindfulness Program, I’ll teach you exactly how to face thoughts like these. Exactly what to do with the discomfort. And keep on track with the actions that will get you your goal.

I remember about 3 months into the weight loss process. I was camping in Florida and didn’t have a scale. I had no idea if the protocol was actually working. But I liked how it felt. I was being kinder in my head. I was feeling more confident. Then, at a thrift store, I managed a quick weigh in.

Can I communicate to you my elation that I was actually down a few pounds???!!! I just kept screaming “it works!!!”. Totally blew my mind. I hadn’t cut out a food group or taken on any crazy workouts. I just used mindful eating and the other components of the SHE protocol. Totally do-able. Even in my tiny trailer.

Now my thoughts were often like “I’m rocking it”, or “what a ride this is” or “as long as I’m learning and growing like this, I’ll never feel old”. My relationships started to feel more meaningful. I was sharing my truth and being more authentic.

And this, my friends, is what fun is really about. Not based on external situations. But from a deep wellspring of unstoppable joy that I am 100% in control of. This is why mundane stuff, like just staying at home or having a quiet tea with a friend, can be so soul satisfying.

It’s not because the # on the scale went down. It’s how I changed in the process. The changes in my brain.

So am I being greedy or egotistical? I’ve thought long and hard about this.

In yoga philosophy, there is the concept of dharma. It means our life’s purpose. We are each born with a unique set of gifts and talents. In alignment with the universal good, we are charged with getting out there and sharing them. We are to be of service. Make the world a better place.

I was hiding behind too much flesh. I was hiding behind excuses about being tired and old. I was letting my talents and gifts go dormant. That is not my job according to the philosophy of dharma. Because I was letting those b****y thoughts hold too much real estate in my brain, I wasn’t in alignment with what the universe really needed from me.

After losing ten pounds, then 15 and then finally 25, I realized that mindfulness and setting goals was an unlimited process. What else did I feel a deep longing around?

The same protocol that helped me lose the weight is being applied to other areas of my life including weight training, setting boundaries with family and building my online business.

Now that goal is really scary. About 75% of my brain thinks I’m on crack cocaine for setting the income goals I have. How will I ever get those sales? I don’t know how to do social media! What will the neighbours think? But there’s part of me that’s super excited and feeling very alive. That’s what I choose to focus on. Every day I have a plan. I’m learning to do what I say and create confidence in my abilities. I’m tapping into my authentic voice and sharing my truth with you.

I’m not hiding behind bags of chips or excuses about being tired. I’m out there, boldly flaunting my dharma for all to see. And it’s fun.

That’s why we need goals and dreams. Why we need to reach outside of our comfort zone on purpose. The skills we practice along this journey to our dreams builds muscle to bounce back from life’s surprises. And disappointments.

What if I don’t meet my business goal? Will it all be wasted? Will I be so embarrassed to tell you all?

See this is what’s so fun! It doesn’t matter about the actual goal! I can’t fail! The thoughts that I’ve confronted… the kindnesses that I’ve built into my day… the deepening appreciation for my own gifts and talents… those are mine no matter what.

If I hadn’t set the goal, I’d be doing the same old. So I set the goal, it’s going as it’s going. No matter what… when a year is up, I will be a changed brain. Change that I directed and supervised. I am in control. I’m proactive… not reactive. Being a big ass boss of my own life.

And that is fun, my friend.