Sometimes it takes reaching midlife to finally understand what you actually want in the bedroom. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Holly Richmond, a somatic psychologist and certified sex therapist, for an incredibly honest conversation about the sexual awakening happening for women in their 40s, 50s, and beyond.

We dive deep into why Gen X women are reportedly having the best sex of their lives, the role hormones play in desire, and how authenticity becomes the foundation of sexual wellness in midlife. This isn't just about having better sex—it's about reclaiming pleasure, understanding your body's changes, and showing up as who you really are.

In This Episode:

The Midlife Sexual Awakening:

* Why women in their 40s and 50s are experiencing unprecedented sexual confidence

* How authenticity becomes the foundation of sexual wellness

* The difference between desire (psychological wanting) and arousal (physiological response)

The Hormone Factor:

* Why that flawed study 30 years ago scared women away from HRT

* How declining estrogen and testosterone affect libido during menopause

* Getting hormone levels checked every 6 months (and pushing back when doctors dismiss you)

Relationship Dynamics That Actually Matter:

* The crucial question: "Are you having sex worth wanting?"

* Why it's now 50/50 whether the man or woman is the higher-desire partner

* Leading with curiosity when introducing new elements

* Navigating performance anxiety and past trauma that surfaces

Practical Tools for Self-Discovery:

* Sexual template work: discovering what you find sexy through the five senses

* Creating "erotic flexibility" to prevent habituation

* Why you might need toys now (and why that's completely normal)

Dating After Divorce:

* How past trauma resurfaces with new partners

* The concept of "marrying your unfinished business"

* Why therapy support is crucial when re-entering the dating world

Key Quotes:

"Sexual wellness for women in midlife is a lot about authenticity. It's showing up as we really are."

"The more sex we have, the more sex we want. Sex is a muscle. If we don't use it, we lose it."

"Are you having sex worth wanting? We've been asking the wrong question for decades."

"We marry our unfinished business."

Resources Mentioned:

Books:

* "Reclaiming Pleasure" by Dr. Holly Richmond

* "The Upgrade" by Dr. Louann Brizendine

* "Getting the Love You Want" by Harville Hendrix

* Various works by Emily Nagoski, Peggy Kleinplatz, and Esther Perel

Services:

* Dr. Holly's wellness retreats

https://sacredsurrendermedicine.com/women-survivors-retreat/

https://www.tandavaretreats.com/retreats/womens-sexual-trauma

* Work with Dr. Holly:

https://www.reclaimingyourpleasure.com/

Connect with Dr. Holly Richmond:

* Instagram:

* @drhollyrichmond

* Website:

https://drhollyrichmond.com/

Share This Episode: If this conversation opened your eyes to something new about midlife sexuality, please share it. Send it to that friend who's been struggling with desire changes, or post it in your stories. When you share these conversations, you're helping other women realize they're not alone in navigating the sexual changes that come with midlife.

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