Trigger Disclaimer: This episode contains information about sexual abuse.

This show offers up the extremely candid story of childhood sexual abuse, told through the lens of the same young man, now it mid adulthood. Having experienced abuse within his family, and amongst those they had trusted most, the young boy does eventually report his reality and then seen his abuser convicted and jailed. The storyteller explains to us how he ignored much of the trauma for the majority of his adult life without confronting the long term impacts of this horror.

It was only upon his own son reaching a similar age to his (when he first experiences the abuse) that the trauma and emotional turmoil rose up and led to a two year+ recovery.

My guest honestly shares his story today to help the parents of children everywhere. He actively works to help adults know what to look out for and how to help young people at risk in all areas of life. Not only does he share an honest reflection of his experience but he openly aids the listener in discovering how to recognise and support children facing trauma or abuse.

This show covers critical signs of trauma in children's behaviour, including what to watch for in physical and psychological changes. The speaker shares personal experiences that highlight the connection between childhood trauma and adult life, emphasising the role of open communication and vulnerability and how critical therapy is in the healing journey.

In some parts this is not an easy story to hear but it is deeply raw and powerful, and one that many will be able to learn empathy for and within. These conversations were unheard for a long time. Not anymore.

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Our Guest reveals his name at the end of the show and shares where you can find him:

https://johncardamone.com.au/

Get John's Free BeCalmer One Page Guide Here: https://johncardamone.com.au/free-disclosure-response-framework/

Find John on LinkedIn here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-cardamone-86632738/

#empathy #Trauma #ChildhoodTrauma #MentalHealth #Parenting #Support

What Interviewing a Suspected Serial Killer and His Victims Taught One Man About Empathy.

"The first time he called, I was home with family on a Saturday afternoon in 2022. I asked if he had time later to continue our conversation. “Yeah, I have nothing planned,” he laughed."

It was a funny line. His name was Billy Chemirmir, and he was in the Dallas County jail awaiting trial on eighteen counts of capital murder. 

In this candid and honest episode, this journalist talks to the honest reality and emotional turmoil of following the case of a Serial Killer and meeting his victims families for over 6 years. Talking about what this taught him about relationships and human behaviour this makes for an eye-opening story.

"I’d spent years devoted to telling my readers about the mental and emotional scars these murders created. I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t give Chemirmir a chance to comment on his own case. I believed the evidence against him was strong, but I’ve been wrong before. I’d approached his victims with care and empathy. I had to try to offer him the same."

Chemirmir was serving his sentences in an East Texas prison when, one year ago on September 19, he was stabbed and beaten to death by his cellmate. He bled out overnight on the prison floor. His body wasn’t found until the next morning. While the killer is gone, the trauma he left behind lingers. Our guest explains that he could never understand what he was thinking as he killed his victims but through empathy and patience, he asked those who do understand to help him explain the consequences of that trauma to others—to tell their stories, with care and compassion.

My guest does announce his identity towards the end of the show and tells us about his own podcast unveiling the entire case as a crime drama podcast, The Unforgotten. I have started listening to it already and highly recommend it:

You can find the podcast on all the major platforms, but here's a good sharable link: link.chtbl.com/TheUnforgotten 

You can find out more about our guest at charliescudder.com

The Texas Monthly story that introduced me to my guest is here: https://www.texasmonthly.com/news-politics/texas-serial-killer-trial-victims-empathy/

#empathy #journalism #ethics #serialkiller #murder #prison

Can you imagine waking up one day and being thrown out of the country you have grown up in? Can you imagine having to call your girlfriend to say "goodbye" and that you will never see her again, and then getting on a plane with only your father, leaving your mother and sister to be flown to an entirely different country to never see them again? Can you imagine the tenacity you need to be called an "alien" and not carry that as your identity?

My guest on this show sheds an unheard light on what it's like to live as an illegal immigrant in the USA. To avoid the law, to go under the radar and to watch your family be systematically tricked into revealing their status and then being imprisoned for doing so. With a deep sense of forgiveness, and an inspiring grit to get up and 'go again' he unpacks how he faced homelessness, loss and dejection and then turned it all around to build a career, a marriage and a new life.

The meaning of resilience may exist right here in this conversation.

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Music Credits: https://ncs.io/PLHome NCS / NoCopyrightSounds: Empowering Creators through No Copyright & Royalty Free Music

Can you imagine growing up in a home where you have to compete with your siblings in order to be able to eat, go to school, and sleep? Our guest today can,  as that was her reality growing up in a polygamist home in Nigeria with eight siblings. 

Growing up in the slums, our guest was exposed to young girls being raped and teenage pregnancies from an early age. While many may have accepted this reality to be their future, this ambitious young girl did not. She was determined to give herself an education and change her life, after being inspired by what she saw on television at her neighbour's home. 

She would travel to school each morning, a little later than others as she had to sell bread rolls in the market to pay for her transport to school, determined to study and to go to university to get an education. Her hard work paid off as she was able to apply for and successfully receive a scholarship for her bachelor's degree in mathematics and statistics - no easy feat for a someone who literally paid for their own schooling as a child! However the difficulties had really only just began...

From sleeping in lecture halls, unable to afford accommodation, to working in a multi-level marketing firm due to the lack of job opportunities, our guest had to fight for survival as she went through university and ultimately got her degree. Today, she has come a long way to where she now plans on reading for a further master's degree in data science and finance as well as a PhD in order to build a startup that empowers young girls, teenagers, and female entrepreneurs. 

What would you do if education was not considered to a human right for females but an uphill battle that most people lose? Would you fight to pay your own fees from as young as 9 years old. Tune in to hear how one woman fought for her own growth and ultimately is out there changing the world for the girls coming up behind her...…

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Do women's lives always matter? It's a question with such a seemingly obvious answer and yet in so many parts of the world this is not a given. Our guests in this show shares her powerful - and yet often controversial - work in women's rights with specific focus on the right to choose an abortion, safely. She explains the stories of women from around the world who do not have the right to choose and the impact of abuse, rape and ill health on the ultimate lives of women everywhere.

Running an organisation that drives education as to the role of choice, in whether or not to continue with a pregnancy, she not only unpacks the stark reality for many women globally (imagine having to sneak into an illegal, unsafe, clinic to save your life for a pregnancy that will otherwise kill you?) but she gives us new data and insight into the journey ahead to equalise the lives of women and their unborn babies going forward.

If having a baby will result in your own death, should you have the right to end that pregnancy? Listen in to find out more....

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Can you imagine leaving home for work not knowing if you'd come back alive to your children and family? Every single day.

Today's guest faces that reality. The reality of not knowing whether she'd live to see another day as soon as she steps out of her home every day.

Living amidst The Anglophone Crisis where Cameroon is losing all of its sons and daughters in the conflict, our guest emphasises the need for dialogue in order for this Crisis to end.

Businesses are being shut down, leading to a drastic food and security problem, with increases in hunger making people more and more vulnerable, looking for any way out they can find. Crime rates, prostitution, and homelessness have increased because people are desperate.

It is in fact normal to find people living in caves, under trees, or in abandoned buildings, as these are the closest to safety shelters they can find after losing their homes, incomes, and caregivers. 

Despite the horrifying reality that she faces on a daily basis, our guest urges the rest of the world to help support their journey to peace and help them by listening to the realities of the women and families in these communities as she believes that the journey begins with their voices reaching the world. How much longer can we ignore what is happening on the other side of the world? When will empathy lead to action?

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Music Credits: https://ncs.io/PLHome NCS / NoCopyrightSounds: Empowering Creators through No Copyright & Royalty Free Music

In this episode, we are joined by a woman living deep in Northern Nigeria with the terror of Boko Haram. She joins the show today because she sees her story as her superpower and that sharing her story far and wide is important for her because “You never can tell who you are influencing, you never can tell who will empathise with your story and somehow make a change or be encouraged to do something.”

Our guest's story begins with her older brother who tragically passes away when she is just 17 years old. Even after his death, he continues to inspire her and she fondly remembers him as a shooting star that lived fast, brought warmth and left afterwards.

Where our guest lives, around one in every five girls have never been in school. She passionately shares why she sees education as being the basic tool to lead to meaningful change in her community's future and how she believes, quite rightly, that "... educating a girl changes everything."

Despite living in a violent and poverty driven reality, that could make it difficult to find positivity and inspiration, our guest shares how inspiring it is for young girls in her community to see other educated young women change their lives and confidently live their own path. She explains how such girls and women are seen as role models and why they need more of them.

If I were to sum up today's episode in one word, it would be 'hopeful' as that's what our guest and her community are feeling as they dare to make a difference. For many of us we could not imagine finding the energy to create change and momentum under such circumstances, our guests proves us how this can and should be done.

Our guests was happy to share her identity with us and she explains that today she, Jefiter, runs a non-profit called "Life Aid for Community Development" that focuses on empowering these young girls and women in Nigeria. Creating hope and opportunity where there is none.

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Music Credits: https://ncs.io/PLHome NCS / NoCopyrightSounds: Empowering Creators through No Copyright & Royalty Free Music

Can you imagine living, knowing you are going to die?

This show allows us to step into the shoes of Africa's longest living triple organ transplant survivor and to follow her lifelong journey to becoming “well” (and staying alive!). As she talks us through her entire childhood and youth spent wishing that she could breathe as her friends did, she shares what true gratefulness for health, for life and for breath really means.

She shares her reality as she celebrated her 30th birthday party and prepared to say goodbye to everyone in her life, creating a ‘farewell’ party, feeling sure she wouldn’t make it to the end of the year. However life threw her a new (welcome) curveball, as her 3 decade journey was slowing to the confines of her bedroom, when the phone rang and the search for 3 working, matching organs arrived.

Her path to life is both inspiring and powerfully full of motivation as she shares the most simple and deeply human realities of living life to your full potential.

Today, Tina coaches and inspires others to find the joy in the life they have as well as helping them (and their families) face the medical challenges they may face as part of their own journey.

If you would like to hear more about her journey, her coaching or her work with others waiting for transplants or surgery, you can find her here https://www.tinabalive.com or on LinkedIn here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tinabalive/ and on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tinabalive/

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This episode comes from India where our guest tell us of his decision to leave his corporate career to become a “Mentor Father” to over 38 abandoned, abused or orphaned girls. Having found the true meaning and purpose of his life he explains how he has devoted his heart, mind, soul and wealth as a full-time volunteer and a ‘Mentor Father’ for over 10 years.

Telling of his journey to change the path of child brides,abadoned children and cast aside female youth, he talks of his belief that all children are “lotuses waiting to blossom’ if they are given the support, guidance, care and time to do so, He shares how him and his wife are leading these young women to change their destinies by teaching them the life skills they need to face a world as an independent, educated young adults.

Having seen hundreds of girls pass through this ‘family living’ structure he talks about what makes ‘family’ family, even when there are no blood ties. 

As inspiring as he is committed, he enables us to understand the true meaning of purpose, service and parenthood in the most open minded of lenses and how true kindness can create a ripple effect onto the generations to come.

You can read more of this story and the journeys of the unbelievable young women rebuilding their futures in Deepak’s book, Wings to Fly. It is available to purchase on Amazon with funds going towards sustaining this critical work for young women and girls into the future. https://www.amazon.com/Wings-Fly-Nurturing-Dreams-Come/dp/B0B5HQF4CR The book intends to inspire one to make significant contributions to society, nature and the universe in multiple ways

If you would like to find out more about Deepak’s work with Udayan Care and support their continued efforts you can find out more via his LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/deepak-sharma-udayancare/ or via www.udayancare.org  

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"Daddy fell asleep, mummy"

Our guest this week shares the moment when her husband fell "asleep" reading a bedtime story to her 6 year old daughter, and never woke up.

She tells us how she moved on from being the person she "used to be" as she said goodbye to her high school love and became a single mom. Realising that "the person I was prior to this night, knew nothing about the world I had to go through and so I had to lose myself" she tells of the story of her and her daughter as they faced a new journey as a lone duo.

After 23 years she inspires us with how she led herself to a new chapter of her story and that, whilst the memories don't ever fade, she now has a "wonderful life" that she never imagined could find her. With new love, a second child and the discovery of a faith and community that led her forward, this story is fraught with sadness but balanced with the strength, inspiration and wisdom of a woman who has found a path to joy after trauma.

Our guest shares what the term 'widow' means to her and why it never felt it fitted her outlook and how new friendships can help us find a new identity in life. As her story continues it takes a twist, half way through the show and 20 years later, as her son collapses at work and they discover a rare neurological disease impacting his brain and ability to live well. Facing brain surgery with her teenager, and ultimately finding out that the diagnosis runs in the family, she embarks on a long medical journey that tests her braveness and belief in the path laid out for all of us.

Our guest chooses to share her identity at the end of the show. Cathy is now coaching others facing grief, trauma and medical complexity. You can find her via the below links and access her story and support:

https://cathygcoach.com/

https://www.instagram.com/cathygirardeau

https://www.facebook.com/cathy.girardeau

https://www.linkedin.com/in/cathy-girardeau-acc-508363

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