“When love triggers you, it’s not betrayal,

it’s the invitation to open a locked door

inside your soul and finally set yourself free.”

Glenn S. Cohen

@CenterForNI

At first, love feels like magic. You are both fully present, playful, curious, and deeply connected. But as your bond deepens, moving in, getting engaged, or having a child something shifts. The traits you once adored may now spark irritation or pain. What changed?

The deeper truth is this: once the attachment bond is set, it opens the door to both of your inner worlds. What was once charming can now become triggering. Their sarcasm, once witty, now cuts. Your friendliness, once admired, now sparks insecurity. It’s not the trait, it’s the deeper layer it awakens.

You and your partner are like three-story mansions. The ground floor holds childhood memories. The second floor, adolescence. The third, your adult life. Behind locked doors on the lower levels live unresolved wounds. In relationship, your partner unconsciously walks the halls of your mansion, bumping into these locked doors. Not to hurt you but to reveal where healing is needed.

When your nervous system flares, it is not your partner’s fault, it is your unconscious calling for your attention. But instead of meeting the mirror, you may knock it out of their hands. You debate, defend, deflect, dismiss, or deny. That’s the disempowered dance. But you have another option.

This is your turning point. Will you choose to repeat old patterns or respond with presence? Will you support each other to explore the mirror and do the real inner work? This is the opportunity that love gives us, if we are willing to take it.

Imagine your inner world as a grand mansion filled with doors. Some rooms are warm and welcoming. Others are sealed tight. Your partner, unknowingly, becomes the guest who jiggles the handle of a locked room. Not to intrude but to invite you to look inside, dust off the memories, and open the windows of healing. So, what is one “locked door” in your inner mansion that love has recently knocked on?

If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear your story. Visit my website centerforni.com to schedule an initial interview session. You can also tune into my bi-weekly podcast, Lessons of Life, Love, and Healing, on Apple or Spotify. Subscribe to my Substack blog for daily reflections and as a gift, enjoy my CNI – Spiritual Soulful Healing Playlist on Spotify.

With big hugs and lots of love,

God bless,

Glenn 🙏🌻

Get full access to Neurological Intelligence: Lessons in LIfe, Love and Healing at centerforni.substack.com/subscribe