Hello Empowered Wayers!

When I was a new lawyer preparing for my very first trial, I believed John, my mentor, would be sitting beside me in the courtroom. He had guided me through the stages of litigation, helped me think through strategy, and answered my questions.

On the morning of trial, I stopped by his office to confirm he would be sitting next to me at counsel table. I was so nervous that I missed the gleam in his eyes when he nodded.

I should have known what was coming, but I ignored the warning signs from my body and moved forward anyway.

Soon after, I was sitting next to my client, watching the jury panel of 40 people take their seats. I kept looking to the back of the courtroom, waiting for the doors to open and John to walk in. Under the table, out of sight, my hands clenched and unclenched as fear rose in my chest. My mind froze as the realization hit me.

No one was coming.

The bailiff announced the Judge, who walked to her bench and sat down. She looked at the Plaintiff’s attorney, who declared, “Ready, your honor.” Then she looked at me.

Silence and expectation filled the air as I slowly stood. I managed to squeak out, “Defense is ready, your honor,” before sitting down so heavily that my client leaned over.

“Are you O.K.?” he whispered.

I nodded and took a deep breath to calm myself. This was happening whether I thought I was ready or not. I was trying my first case without my mentor and the results would be all mine. I said a quick prayer that I would remember the facts of the case, the law and evidentiary rules, and I would do a good job.

It was sink or swim, and I decided I did not want to drown that day.

Looking back now, I can see that this was one of my earliest initiations into sovereignty. At the time, it felt like abandonment or at least a profound disappointment, but years later, with the benefit of reflection and lived experience, I see it differently.

No one was coming, not because I was unsupported, but because it was time for me to stand fully in my own authority.

There is a particular kind of learning that only happens when borrowed confidence falls away. As long as you believe someone else will step in, reassure you, or quietly hold the weight for you, you will never fully inhabit your inner authority. That morning in court, I realized that the reassurance I had been counting on externally would need to come from within, whether I felt ready or not.

What can dogs teach us about sovereignty?

Much later, while writing Drop the Leash: Let Go of the Past and Love in the Present, I began to understand this moment through a different lens.

Dogs do not carry expectations into the present moment. They do not rehearse disappointment or fixate on how things should have gone. They respond to what is happening right now, with clarity, presence, and a whole sense of self.

In that courtroom, I was still holding an invisible leash made of expectation, approval, and the hope that someone else would steady me. When my mentor did not appear, that leash slipped from my hand, and I was left to face the reality of the moment. I could remain tethered to the story of how things were supposed to be, or I could meet what was actually unfolding with as much presence and integrity as I could muster.

That choice, whether conscious or not, marked the beginning of living from sovereignty.

What is Sovereignty?

Sovereignty is often misunderstood as isolation or self reliance taken to an extreme, but that is not what I mean. Sovereignty is not about doing everything alone or rejecting guidance and connection.

Sovereignty means to stop outsourcing your authority or abandoning yourself while waiting for someone else to validate you, protect you, or lead you through your own life.

Dogs show us this beautifully. They love deeply without disappearing. They remain loyal without losing themselves. They stay present rather than dragging the past into the moment or projecting fear into the future.

That is not dependency or detachment. It is embodied presence, and it is a form of sovereignty we can all learn from.

That first trial taught me that confidence is not something handed down by mentors or earned through perfect preparation. It is revealed when we stay present in moments that ask us to stand on our own feet.

When people hear the phrase “no one is coming,” it can sound harsh or lonely, but for me it has come to mean something very different. It is the moment when life quietly says, “Now, trust yourself.”

Why I created the Sovereign Women’s Circle

This understanding is at the heart of the work I now do with women. Again and again, I see women reaching thresholds where the familiar supports fall away, whether in relationships, careers, or stages of life. In the space between the familiar and the unknown, there is an invitation to step more fully into their own authority while staying open-hearted and connected.

That is why I created the Sovereign Women’s Circle, not as a place to be fixed or rescued, but as a space where women practice standing rooted in themselves together, releasing old leashes to the past, to approval, and to waiting.

As a woman remembers her sovereignty, she moves differently in her life. Instead of seeking approval from someone else, she listens inwardly. She becomes attuned to her body’s intelligence and knows when something is off. And she nurtures herself as much or more than the others around her.

When you “drop the leash” of expectation, need, and reliance on external authority, something beautiful emerges. Your sovereign self.

Takeaways

If someone you expected to show up for you has not, it may be worth asking this question: Is this a moment to trust yourself more deeply instead of proving you are unsupported?

Sovereignty does not mean closing your heart or doing everything alone. It means staying present and whole, rather than abandoning yourself while waiting for reassurance.

Letting go of old leashes, whether they are tied to past experiences, expectations, or external validation, creates space for a quieter and more reliable inner authority to emerge.

If this reflection resonates with you, I invite you to explore these themes more deeply in my book Drop the Leash: Let Go of the Past and Love in the Present, where I write about presence, unconditional love, and what our dogs so naturally teach us about living fully in the now.

And if you find yourself standing at a threshold where life is asking you to step into your own sovereignty, you are warmly welcome to join the Sovereign Women’s Circle, a community devoted to remembering inner authority while staying deeply connected and compassionate.

With love,Kathryn

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