Strickland didnot speak for a long time, but his eyes shone strangely, as though he sawsomething that kindled his soul to ecstasy.

"SometimesI've thought of an island lost in a boundless sea, where I could live in somehidden valley, among strange trees, in silence. There I think I could find whatI want. "

He did notexpress himself quite like this. He used gestures instead of adjectives, and hehalted. I have put into my own words what I think he wanted to say.

"Lookingback on the last five years, do you think it was worth it?" I asked.

He looked atme, and I saw that he did not know what I meant. I explained.

"You gaveup a comfortable home and a life as happy as the average. You were fairlyprosperous. You seem to have had a rotten time in Paris. If you had your timeover again would you do what you did?"

"Rather."

"Do youknow that you haven't asked anything about your wife or children? Do you neverthink of them?"

"No."

"I wishyou weren't so damned monosyllabic. Have you never had a moment's regret forall the unhappiness you caused them?"

His lips brokeinto a smile, and he shook his head.

思特里克兰德很久很久没有作声。但是他的眼睛却闪着一种奇异的光辉，仿佛看到了某种点燃起他的灵魂、使他心醉神驰的东西。

“有些时候我就想到一个包围在无边无际的大海中的小岛，我可以住在岛上一个幽僻的山谷里，四周都是不知名的树木，我寂静安闲地生活在那里。我想在那样一个地方，我就能找到我需要的东西了。”

这不是他的原话。他用的是手势而不是形容的词藻，而且结结巴巴没有一句话说得完整。我现在是用自己的话把我认为他想要表达的重新说出来。

“回顾一下过去的五年，你认为你这样做值得吗？”我问他道。

他看着我，我知道他没有明白我的意思，就解释说：“你丢掉了舒适的家庭，放弃一般人过的那种幸福生活。你本来过得很不错。可是你现在在巴黎大概连饭都吃不饱。再叫你从头儿选择，你还愿意走这条路吗？”

“还是这样。”

“你知道，你根本没有打听过你的老婆和孩子。难道你从来没有想过他们吗？”

“没有。”

“我希望你别他妈的老说一个字。你给他们带来这么多不幸，难道你就一分钟也没有后悔过？”

他咧开嘴笑了，摇了摇头。