The Nextlander Watchcast

We continue to dive ever deeper into the world of big budget failures with Waterworld, a sea-faring post-apocalyptic adventure so middle-of-the-road that only its astronomical budget could possibly be the source of its lasting cultural impact.

(00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 114: Waterworld (1995)

(00:00:21) - Intro.

(00:02:10) - Our movie is Waterworld, let's get right into the budget talk.

(00:03:40) - The Costner factor.

(00:10:32) - Getting into the ridiculous production history of this thing.

(00:21:16) - Fishtar.

(00:26:07) - What is the Ulysses Cut?

(00:28:56) - Some of the finer points of this goofy apocalypse.

(00:33:37) - Drowning the Universal logo in Kevin Costner's recycled piss.

(00:37:26) - A long stretch at an atoll.

(00:45:37) - Gills? In this economy?

(00:51:02) - Break!

(00:51:20) - Escaping the atoll.

(01:01:51) - Boy does the mariner hate these women.

(01:07:03) - God, this other drifter character.

(01:13:20) - OK, the fishing bit isn't bad. The part where the kid can't swim? Less so.

(01:16:32) - Yes! Please! Show us Drylan...d'oh...

(01:22:21) - Enola is taken.

(01:26:10) - Some more context for how Costner gets that jetski, and scattered Smoker talk.

(01:29:43) - Deacon's speech, and the mariner Solid Snakes his way through the boat.

(01:37:39) - Deacon's dumb end.

(01:39:13) - Off to Dryland.

(01:45:47) - Final thoughts.

(01:49:23) - Closing out our month next week: Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within!

(01:51:18) - Outro.

It's time again for our now-annual Turkey Month, and we're kicking off a November's worth of big budget turkeys with Cutthroat Island, the pirate movie that plundered Carolco of their last remaining doubloons, and sent Geena Davis' career as a swashbuckler off the side of a boat.

(00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 113: Cutthroat Island (1995)

(00:00:18) - Intro.

(00:02:08) - Our first turkey for November: Cutthroat Island!

(00:07:37) - The Renny Harlin factor, and the initial (fairly different) pitch for this movie.

(00:12:06) - THEY KILLED CAROLCO!

(00:18:15) - The cast we got, and the cast we could have had.

(00:23:30) - Listing off some of the myriad curses that befell this production (and some debate about Davis' stunts).

(00:32:16) - Despite all the troubles, they pulled this one off at the box office, right?!? (No.)

(00:38:49) - Addressing any lingering questions before we get into the movie proper.

(00:43:58) - Break!

(00:44:24) - We're back, and here's what the hell is happening in this movie.

(00:54:21) - The introduction of William Shaw.

(00:59:28) - I saved a guy who speaks Latin, what did you ever do?

(01:02:26) - One of the few bright spots: the carriage chase.

(01:04:41) - These puzzles suck.

(01:06:11) - Time to dig up another uncle.

(01:12:43) - Gunshot wound? No problem!

(01:17:45) - An interminable mutiny before we finally get to Cutthroat Island.

(01:25:31) - Oh look, treasure.

(01:29:49) - Let's blow some stuff up for like 30 minutes.

(01:37:11) - We saved the treasure! (...and Shaw!)

(01:40:32) - Final thoughts.

(01:46:04) - Some talk about our film for next week: Waterworld!

(01:51:28) - Outro. 

We close out our October of terror with the ghastliest, most chill-inducing horror anthology of all: The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror! Talking Simpsons' Henry Gilbert joins us as we rank our favorite Simpsons Halloween shorts from the golden age of the show.

(00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 112: The Best of The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror

(00:00:28) - Intro.

(00:01:07) - For this week's Simpsons themed nonsense, we turn to Talking Simpsons' Henry Gilbert!

(00:03:00) - Our personal experiences with The Simpsons and where we jumped off (if we ever did).

(00:10:41) - How this week's episode is gonna work.

(00:12:21) - Leading us off is Henry's number five pick: Clown Without Pity!

(00:21:29) - And now, without further ado, here's Brad's number five: Terror at 5½ Feet!

(00:32:27) - On the subject of the recurring Kang and Kodos bit.

(00:34:31) - It's time for Alex's number five: The Shinning!

(00:46:50) - And now for Vinny's number five: Attack of the 50 ft. Eyesores!

(00:57:42) - Break!

(00:58:00) - We're back, and here's Brad's number four: Bart Simpson's Dracula!

(01:11:23) - We're up to Vinny's number four: Time and Punishment!

(01:24:01) - Brad's number three? Dial Z for Zombies!

(01:34:09) - Henry's number two: The Devil and Homer Simpson!

(01:52:01) - Alex's number two: Homer Cubed!

(02:09:17) - Rounding things out with Vinny's number two! Bad Dream House!

(02:17:05) - Talking a bit about some of the other early shorts.

(02:22:10) - Re-reading through our complete lists, and mentioning some later season shorts that we like.

(02:29:59) - Final thoughts.

(02:34:02) - Our plans for November.

(02:40:23) - Outro.

On this week's Watchcast we continue to barrel through our month of anthology horrors with the movie that spawned a shockingly successful found footage franchise in V/H/S!

(00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 111: V/H/S (2012)

(00:00:56) - Intro.

(00:02:47) - Our movie this week: the found footage horror anthology, V/H/S!

(00:05:57) - Boy, they have made a bunch of these things since 2012.

(00:08:30) - Some production history.

(00:16:24) - The set-up for all this grimy nonsense.

(00:26:04) - Our first full short: Amateur Night.

(00:32:49) - This girl...is not what she seems.

(00:38:20) - Rivers Cuomo is not getting out of this one alive.

(00:43:08) - Break!

(00:43:30) - We're back, and it's time for Second Honeymoon!

(00:52:14) - Moving on to Tuesday the 17th.

(01:00:08) - Eventually, the glitch comes for us all.

(01:06:06) - Next up, The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Younger.

(01:11:04) - Is this better than having your house be haunted? No. No it is not.

(01:19:25) - Our wrapper scumbags get got.

(01:21:32) - Our final short: 10/31/98.

(01:26:39) - If I pay $0 for a haunted house I better die.

(01:33:19) - You see what happens, Larry? You see what happens when you help a stranger in a witch house?

(01:35:58) - Final thoughts.

(01:43:01) - Our plans for next week's Treehouse of Horror spectacular.

(01:46:02) - Outro.

With Brad out this week, Remap Radio's Patrick Klepek is here to fill the third chair as we talk through one of his personal favorite horror anthologies, Trick 'r Treat!

(00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 110: Trick 'r Treat (2007)

(00:00:23) - Intro.

(00:02:18) - Our movie this week: Trick 'r Treat! A movie that had a weirdly difficult path to being seen by the masses.

(00:09:55) - Cast chat.

(00:13:55) - Jumping right into the movie's set-up.

(00:22:55) - A barfy hello to Principal Wilkins.

(00:31:24) - Break!

(00:31:46) - We're back, and it's time to get into some Warren Valley deep lore.

(00:40:15) - Kids are very much NOT safe in this movie.

(00:44:34) - Anna Paquin and her sisters.

(00:50:46) - On the subject of werewolf transformations.

(00:56:09) - Our final segment: Brian Cox runs afoul of a pumpkin demon.

(01:04:44) - We've learned the true meaning of Halloween: killing those who have wronged you from beyond the grave.

(01:08:06) - Final thoughts.

(01:12:46) - A brief Halloween Ramblecast crashes into the Watchcast.

(01:20:26) - Vinny's ranking, and a short bit on next week's movie: V/H/S!

(01:23:43) - Outro.

It's officially spooky season here on the Watchcast, and we kick off our month of anthology horror with the dream team of George Romero, Stephen King, Tom Savini, and a cavalcade of early '80s stars in Creepshow!

(00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 109: Creepshow (1982)

(00:00:24) - Intro.

(00:01:28) - Our film to kick off our month of horror anthologies: Creepshow!

(00:05:55) - What do we know about EC Comics, and how did these two crazy horror makers get together?

(00:13:22) - Our star-studded cast, and the ongoing relevance of the Creepshow brand.

(00:17:41) - You kids and your trash comics!

(00:20:04) - Our first short, featuring the scariest holiday of all: Father's Day!

(00:25:32) - Our daddy's come back and you're gonna be in trouble! (Hey-laaaa, day-la! I want my cake!)

(00:30:47) - Stephen King like you've never seen him before!

(00:39:45) - Break!

(00:40:05) - We're back, and it's time to torture Ted Danson!

(00:56:12) - Here come the soggy ghouls.

(01:00:51) - Onto The Crate.

(01:12:26) - An opportunity presents itself.

(01:17:52) - Please do not dump your arctic beasts in our quarry.

(01:19:54) - It's time to get buggy with Upson Pratt.

(01:31:15) - Dad could not foresee the old voodoo doll twist.

(01:32:46) - Final thoughts.

(01:36:06) - Onto our remaining schedule for the month.

(01:39:41) - Outro.

We close out our month of vaguely video game related movies with the goopiest game in town, eXistenZ! Join us as we dive many layers deep into the subrealities of Cronenberg's fleshy cyberpunk delight to see if it holds up to our fond memories.

(00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 108: eXistenZ (1999)

(00:00:37) - Intro.

(00:02:19) - What are we doing here? We're talking about eXistenZ!

(00:03:47) - Vinny has questions, and we talk a little about when we first saw this thing.

(00:11:48) - Alex's one David Cronenberg story.

(00:14:47) - Some background on the movie's inspirations and production.

(00:19:21) - Our (shockingly young) cast.

(00:25:03) - High praise for Howard Shore and the effects team.

(00:30:39) - Our immediate introduction to the GamePod.

(00:41:37) - Death to the demoness!

(00:49:39) - Break!

(00:50:05) - We're back, and it's time to pull out a tooth bullet.

(00:58:13) - It's Gas! That guy who works at the Country Gas Station!

(01:05:58) - Let's go see what kind of accent Ian Holm has.

(01:08:53) - Time to jack into eXistenZ.

(01:19:07) - We are going Trout Farm mode, we are Chinese Restaurant maxing.

(01:31:17) - Well, the waiter's dead. Now what?

(01:37:29) - We've finished all the side-missions, let's get back to the main quest.

(01:45:54) - You are the queen of eXistenZ! Here's your VR tiara (VRa?)

(01:50:32) - A Death to the Demon encore!

(01:57:35) - Final thoughts.

(02:03:48) - Some forward-looking talk about our October theme: horror anthologies!

(02:08:14) - Outro.

It's Ready Player One week on the Watchcast, and that's all Vinny Caravella's fault, so send any relevant complaints his way. Join us as we take our shift in the nostalgia mines of the Oasis, and wonder just how many empty licensed calories we can take in before overdosing.

(00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 107: Ready Player One (2018)

(00:00:52) - Intro.

(00:01:40) - It's Ready Player One week, and that's Vinny's fault.

(00:09:57) - Vinny has read the book, and he knows the differences (I could not find clips of his Bombcast rant, sorry).

(00:16:34) - Who is responsible for this?

(00:26:39) - The licenses that got away. 

(00:30:31) - Cast talk.

(00:42:09) - Some initial houghts about why this movie doesn't work for us.

(00:46:56) - Break!

(00:47:14) - We're back, and it's time to launch into whatever the hell is going on here.

(00:58:08) - Kicking off the first challenge with King Kong Kart.

(01:09:38) - What the hell is IOI's deal.

(01:17:09) - Onto challenge two and the Halliday archive.

(01:22:43) - The Shining level.

(01:29:15) - The IOI pitch.

(01:38:48) - Real world meet-up.}

(01:40:53) - Challenge three on Planet Doom (but not that DOOM, just a generic sort of Doom).

(01:48:02) - This is not a great final battle.

(01:56:28) - We found the damn egg.

(02:09:57) - We won the game! Life is OK for everybody now!

(02:13:09) - Final thoughts.

(02:24:28) - Talking about our final movie for the month: eXistenZ!

(02:26:30) - Outro.

This week on the Watchcast, it's Cloak & Dagger! No, not the Marvel thing. The loosely Atari-related thing from the '80s! Join us as we discuss illegal game tapes, Dabney Coleman's action hero credentials, and how we feel having just watched the kid from E.T. kill a guy.

(00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 106: Cloak & Dagger (1984)

(00:00:24) - Intro.

(00:01:00) - Our movie this week: Cloak & Dagger! (Not the Marvel thing.)

(00:10:42) - Talking about the movie's connection to Atari and video games.

(00:17:52) - Some top-line thoughts about what does and doesn't work in the movie.

(00:20:49) - Talking about some of the folks who helped make this thing.

(00:27:33) - The strangely common refrain of this movie being important to kids who have trouble relating to their dad.

(00:28:30) - More production and cast talk.

(00:35:43) - The movie's opening Hitman level.

(00:37:10) - Our intro to the kids and Morris.

(00:44:45) - Infiltrating Textronics.

(00:51:07) - Evil video game scientists are hunting your children!

(00:58:30) - Break!

(00:58:46) - We're back, and the bad guys are coming to kill this kid.

(01:05:39) - Unlocking the secrets of the forbidden Atari tape.

(01:12:28) - There is no plan here. These people are dumb as hell.

(01:16:13) - Davey is on the run.

(01:21:30) - Sure, let's make a kid ride in a trunk with a corpse. PG! Parental Guidance!

(01:26:07) - To the Alamo!

(01:31:32) - Wacky child driving antics!

(01:36:28) - Jack Flack might not be a great role model.

(01:45:41) - To the airport! Where unsupervised children will be welcomed with only moderate questioning.

(01:50:37) - This is one of the goofiest hostage situations in film history.

(01:56:40) - Final thoughts.

(01:59:58) - Girding ourselves for next week's movie: Ready Player One!

(02:05:00) - Outro.

Continuing along our path of video game related movies, we come to last year's Apple TV retelling of the story of Tetris and its makers. Join us as we dig through the true history of the game, pick apart the extremely Hollywood-ized additions to the story, and muse about our own histories with Tetris.

(00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 105: Tetris (2023)

(00:00:13) - Intro.

(00:03:48) - A second Robert Maxwell reference has hit the Watchcast.

(00:07:50) - Let's talk about our histories with Tetris, and dive into some licensing history.

(00:12:40) - A certain ongoing lawsuit, and a little bit on the folks involved in this production. 

(00:17:44) - Getting into the extremely hasty intro to this story.

(00:28:20) - Running down some of the real world figures and their portrayals here.

(00:40:40) - Break!

(00:41:12) - We're back, and it's time to start picking apart licensing rights.

(00:51:22) - The cheesy (but delightful) Game Boy unveiling.

(01:06:37) - Henk's Moscow adventure begins.

(01:18:01) - The real negotiations begin.

(01:29:14) - Henk and Alexei bond.

(01:34:45) - Is Henk about to lose everything? No, because there'd be no movie otherwise.

(01:40:41) - Donald Kaufman's Tetris.

(01:47:56) - The aftermath (and some loose talk about the Tetris movie we ALMOST got).

(01:55:24) - Final thoughts. 

(01:58:22) - Talking about our film for next week: Cloak & Dagger!

(02:02:32) - Outro.