April Fool’s Day means just one thing in these parts. It’s another episode of The Nibbler! The third book in the series is chock-a-block full of horrifying messages for kids, tweens, teens, and grownups alike, including: you’re obligated to love back any boy who becomes obsessed with you; sex is the same as murder; the Confederacy was pretty sweet; gold shag carpeting is a classy design choice; a metaphor can never get too extended; Native American tribes are basically supernatural anyway so why not ascribe totally made-up lore to actual living indigeous people; and MORE! Plus: Falling in love with a toddler, is, like, chill. Also there’s apparently a plot in there somewhere.

This week: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse