Through acts of uncharacteristic competence, it is we, your Accredited Australians, Amber and Gabe, unfrozen and wandering around your sleek, dazzling future. And what a future it is! One where we can witness episodes like “The Niranderthal Beast”, a harrowing tale of rampaging hordes, helpful Italians, and horny Matrons. Bronson has borrowed and broken the family heirloom razor, causing him to grow a mighty ginger beard. But it is not for tiny boychildren to be so endowed! And his appearance is believed to be that of a local cryptid. Will Bronson be doomed to resemble an enormous garden gnome his whole life? Is Matron’s face a turn-on? What does dandruff taste like? All this and letters from the lower homos we call fans.