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The Number One Thing Smart People Do To Outsmart Themselves: Ep 128
What if the voice you think is helping you stay strong is actually teaching you to abandon yourself emotionally?
In today’s episode, I’m talking about the hyper-rational saboteur. The part of us that uses logic, perspective, realism and “maturity” to bypass difficult emotions instead of actually feeling them.
This conversation became deeply personal for me after an experience on my son Luca’s birthday last weekend. While visiting the tree my family planted for him after he passed away unexpectedly in 2023, I found myself overwhelmed with grief. And in that moment, when I said out loud, “It’s just so unfair,” I immediately heard another voice inside my head respond:
“Life is unfair.”
For years, I believed that voice was wisdom. Resilience. Strength. Grounded realism.
But what I recognised was that it wasn’t helping me process grief. It was shutting my grief down.
In this episode, I explore the difference between being grounded in reality and emotionally abandoning yourself.
I talk about why so many thoughtful, capable, high-achieving people mistake emotional suppression for strength, and how logic can quietly become a defence against sadness, grief, disappointment, injustice and vulnerability.
I also explore:
- The cost of emotional suppression on the nervous system
- The difference between self-empathy and self-pity
- What true mental fitness actually looks like during difficult emotional experiences
If you’ve ever:
- Told yourself “other people have it worse”
- Dismissed your pain because “you need to move on”
- Struggled to offer yourself the compassion you would instantly give somebody else
…then this episode is for you.
The essence of mental fitness is increasing our capacity to stay emotionally present with ourselves, even in the middle of grief, pain, sadness and uncertainty.
It is not about never experiencing negative emotions.
You do not need to earn empathy by proving your pain is valid.
Your emotions are worthy of compassion simply because you are human.
You can find out more about working with me at KayaRamjee.com
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By Kaya RamjeeWhat if the voice you think is helping you stay strong is actually teaching you to abandon yourself emotionally?
In today’s episode, I’m talking about the hyper-rational saboteur. The part of us that uses logic, perspective, realism and “maturity” to bypass difficult emotions instead of actually feeling them.
This conversation became deeply personal for me after an experience on my son Luca’s birthday last weekend. While visiting the tree my family planted for him after he passed away unexpectedly in 2023, I found myself overwhelmed with grief. And in that moment, when I said out loud, “It’s just so unfair,” I immediately heard another voice inside my head respond:
“Life is unfair.”
For years, I believed that voice was wisdom. Resilience. Strength. Grounded realism.
But what I recognised was that it wasn’t helping me process grief. It was shutting my grief down.
In this episode, I explore the difference between being grounded in reality and emotionally abandoning yourself.
I talk about why so many thoughtful, capable, high-achieving people mistake emotional suppression for strength, and how logic can quietly become a defence against sadness, grief, disappointment, injustice and vulnerability.
I also explore:
- The cost of emotional suppression on the nervous system
- The difference between self-empathy and self-pity
- What true mental fitness actually looks like during difficult emotional experiences
If you’ve ever:
- Told yourself “other people have it worse”
- Dismissed your pain because “you need to move on”
- Struggled to offer yourself the compassion you would instantly give somebody else
…then this episode is for you.
The essence of mental fitness is increasing our capacity to stay emotionally present with ourselves, even in the middle of grief, pain, sadness and uncertainty.
It is not about never experiencing negative emotions.
You do not need to earn empathy by proving your pain is valid.
Your emotions are worthy of compassion simply because you are human.
You can find out more about working with me at KayaRamjee.com