There’s no doubt about it, a family crisis can take a toll on even the most committed marriages.

Over the years, I’ve learned that family conflict has a tendency to amplify the true condition of a relationship. It doesn’t cause new problems, but merely calls attention to areas of existing weakness.

If a family crisis is bringing to light the messier side of your marriage, here’s my advice: don’t expect your spouse to change. Instead, focus on changing yourself.

When you make yourself stronger and healthier through things like counseling and spiritual growth, the environment in your home will change.

So if you start seeing flaws in others, by all means, hope and pray for change. But don’t expect it. Because the only person you can change is you.

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