Happy Birthday, eBay 🎂. The OG of marketplaces is officially 30 years old, and we’re re-releasing our Episode 4 deep dive to mark the moment.

In this episode, we unpack:

• The magic of eBay’s early years — when auctions, Beanie Babies, and broken laser pointers defined the internet.

• The one big thing eBay missed (hint: logistics + payments = Amazon’s crown, not eBay’s).

• The cultural highs and management lows — from PayPal to Skype to “why does eBay still feel like a flea market?”

• What founders and brands today can still learn from eBay’s wins and its missteps.

As Hendrik put it back then: “To understand eBay you have to understand ecommerce.” Thirty years later, that lesson still stands — even if eBay isn’t the one teaching it anymore.

The marketplace podcast you didn't know you asked for (just like AI) is back. The Ostrich Report Ep 6 - JD.com Buys Into Germany… What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

This week we put the Ostrich in Ostrich Report by burying our heads deep into one of the most head-scratching deals of the year: JD.com spending €2.5B to buy Ceconomy, the German parent company of MediaMarkt and Saturn.

Yes, JD — the Chinese giant that was born an online retailer, flirted with marketplace models, wandered into logistics, cloud, and other shiny objects — is now buying two of Germany’s most traditional electronics retailers.

If you think this sounds like Amazon buying RadioShack in 2025, you’re not alone.

💡 Why this matters

• Amazon Germany is the marketplace gorilla, owning the customer relationship and the search bar. JD isn’t walking into an open field — they’re walking into an Amazon-owned parking lot.

• Germany’s retail culture is famously conservative. Family-owned businesses, slow digital adoption, and an in-person-first mentality. Perfect conditions for a Chinese e-commerce titan… said no one, ever.

• MediaMarkt & Saturn are legacy names with massive store networks. Great for physical reach, but also great for draining cash if the pivot to omnichannel fails.

  
  

🎯 Key questions we ask in this episode:

1. Is JD buying growth or buying a headache?

2. Will they try to “China-fy” the German market or adapt to it?

3. Is this a play to hedge against Temu and Shein eating their lunch at home?

4. If this fails — and JD does not have a glowing history of European success — what’s Plan B?

5. Is this a long-term strategic anchor or just an expensive LinkedIn announcement?

   
   

🔥 Hendrik’s take: This could be the M&A of the year in Europe — if it works. But history says Chinese e-commerce players have a tough time in European retail. Logistics strength means nothing if the consumer doesn’t want your basket.

🔥 Vinny’s take: The boldness is admirable, but so is jumping into the Atlantic in January — doesn’t mean it’s sensible.

If you’re into deals where corporate strategy meets cultural friction, and you want your retail M&A with a side of sarcasm, Episode 6 delivers.

🎧 Listen here before JD releases a “synergy roadmap” PDF full of clip-art and German buzzwords.

#Ecommerce #Retail #Marketplaces #MergersAndAcquisitions #TheOstrichReport

The marketplace podcast you didn't know you asked for (just like AI) is back. The Ostrich Report Ep 5 – eBay Part Two 🚨The Sliding Doors of eBay: Part 2 – Electric (But Still Manual) Boogaloo 🚨

🎙️The Ostrich Report Ep 5 just dropped, and if nostalgia had a stock price, we'd all be rich… until activist investors spun it off for parts. Say his name Hendrik Laubscher - Humperdink (IYKYK)

Three big takeaways from our gloriously unhinged post-mortem on eBay's ‘meh decade’:

🔥 1. eBay didn’t lose its edge. It sold it.

“If eBay executed and innovated, we wouldn’t have seen The RealReal, StockX… or even Zillow.”

They were first to everything. Trust, buyer protection, vertical communities, Skype integration before Zoom was even born. But somewhere between 2005 and Carl Icahn’s morning espresso, they swapped imagination for margins. There, I said it.

💸 2. Innovation died in San Jose. It’s been replaced with Excel.

“We’re doing nothing and we’re happy about doing nothing.”

From spinning out PayPal under pressure to flopping the Skype play twice, eBay mistook "innovation" for "cash-out." Spoiler: The CEO who green-lit PayPal’s spin-off became Chairman of PayPal. Misalignment? Or just Silicon Valley's version of dating your ex’s richer sibling? In many reality shows, this seems to be normalized.

🪦 3. AI isn’t the future at eBay. Apparently, advertising is.

“We are in mid-2025, and I’ve yet to see any mention of how eBay plans to use AI. But ad spend? That’s the hill they’re dying on.”

While competitors like Amazon and Walmart build fortress-like AI ecosystems, eBay hands over its crown jewels (read: data) to third parties like Perplexity, hoping nobody notices the silence.

We asked: Can eBay come back?

And we answered: Sure, if Yahoo did.

This isn’t just a requiem for eBay, it’s a warning for any company that confuses shareholder value with customer value, or that thinks maintaining the status quo is a strategy.

You can be the tortoise in a race… but not if you keep selling your shell for parts.

Here’s your self-deprecating, hilarious LinkedIn post for The Ostrich Report – Episode 3, complete with a grovel for sponsors and a nostalgic teaser for eBay in Episode 4:

🚨 The Ostrich Report: Episode 3 is out now! 🚨
🎙️ Starring: Two ecommerce nerds with more opinions than hair—Me and Hendrik Laubscher.

This week we tackle checks notes … whatever we felt like talking about for 25 minutes before running out of coffee and credibility.

✨ What’s inside? ✨

• Lukewarm takes on TikTok Shop

• Audible sighs about Amazon

• Some borderline slander (lawyers, let’s chat)

• And a moment of silence for our career prospects

📉 We are now 3 episodes deep and dangerously close to becoming LinkedIn’s version of Wayne’s World—but with worse lighting and more ecommerce charts.

But wait… Episode 4 is our love letter to eBay.
Our first ecommerce crush. The original garage sale of the internet. The reason we still sort our socks by “Buy It Now.”
💔 She ghosted us for years… but we’re ready to talk.

🧾 We’re also now actively (and shamelessly) looking for sponsors.
Do you sell a B2B SaaS product that automates literally anything?
Do you have a newsletter with fewer subscribers than us?
Do you own a fax machine and want to see it on camera?
We’ll partner with you. Just DM us before our parents make us get real jobs.

👇 Watch Episode 3 below and subscribe before we get shadowbanned by Shopify:

#TheOstrichReport #ecommerce #marketplaces #eBay #sponsorusplz #B2Bdesperation

*Welcome to The Ostrich Report – Where Ecommerce Sticks Its Head in the Sand So You Don’t Have To*🚨 PILOT EPISODE ALERT 🚨 Two marketplace nerds walk into a livestream... and the algorithm lets them stay. Hosted by *Hendrik Laubscher* (the man, the myth, the spreadsheet) and *Vinny O’Brien* (part-time ecommerce guru, full-time professional cynic), The Ostrich Report is your no-holds-barred, semi-accurate, occasionally insightful look into the wild world of global ecommerce marketplaces.In this glorious mess of a pilot, we tackle:

• Why marketplaces are multiplying faster than AI bros on LinkedIn
• The real reason brands cry in the shower after selling on Amazon
• What the hell is going on in cross-border trade (and who’s profiting from the chaos)
• And how Shopify*, *Shein*, and *Temu might secretly be roommates in a very weird sitcom

Expect sarcasm. Expect strong opinions. Expect at least one tech reference no one fully understands. And if you're in the ecommerce game and NOT watching this? You're basically doing business blindfolded in a minefield.🎬 Watch, comment, like, and subscribe – or don’t. We’re not your mum.#TheOstrichReport #EcommerceUnfiltered #MarketplaceMayhem #GlobalTradeTea #PilotEpisode #SarcasmIncluded

**Welcome to The Ostrich Report – Where Ecommerce Sticks Its Head in the Sand So You Don’t Have To**🚨 *PILOT EPISODE ALERT* 🚨 Two marketplace nerds walk into a livestream... and the algorithm lets them stay. Hosted by **Hendrik Laubscher** (the man, the myth, the spreadsheet) and **Vinny O’Brien** (part-time ecommerce guru, full-time professional cynic), *The Ostrich Report* is your no-holds-barred, semi-accurate, occasionally insightful look into the wild world of global ecommerce marketplaces.In this glorious mess of a pilot, we tackle:- Why marketplaces are multiplying faster than AI bros on LinkedIn - The real reason brands cry in the shower after selling on Amazon - What the hell is going on in cross-border trade (and who’s profiting from the chaos) - And how *Shopify*, *Shein*, and *Temu* might secretly be roommates in a very weird sitcomExpect sarcasm. Expect strong opinions. Expect at least one tech reference no one fully understands. And if you're in the ecommerce game and NOT watching this? You're basically doing business blindfolded in a minefield.🎬 Watch, comment, like, and subscribe – or don’t. We’re not your mum.#TheOstrichReport #EcommerceUnfiltered #MarketplaceMayhem #GlobalTradeTea #PilotEpisode #SarcasmIncluded