Matt Abrahams teaches Stanford’s Essentials of Strategic Communication, the university’s most popular communication course. His “Think Fast. Talk Smart” talks and podcast have earned over 80 million views and listens. And the first thing he told us is that the instinct to get it perfect is the exact thing making us worse.

Not just at presentations. At everything. Meetings, hard conversations, even arguments with your partner about toothpaste. (He'll explain that one.)

This is also a special episode: Connor is joined by his co-founder and co-CEO of Merit America, Rebecca Taber Staehelin. Matt coaches them both live through a high-stakes all-hands that almost went sideways and feedback that made Rebecca rethink how she'd been communicating for years.

They also get into what to do when your mind goes completely blank in front of your team, a trick that kills fights with your partner before they start, and why most of the time we think someone didn't listen to us — the real problem is we never checked if they understood.

Check out Matt’s podcast and books here: https://www.fastersmarter.io/.

Chapters

• 00:00:00 Intro — Be interested, not interesting
• 00:07:17 Polished vs. authentic
• 00:09:59 Being spontaneous is a skill you can practice
• 00:12:22 Martial arts, breathing, and being present
• 00:14:40 Repetition, reflection, and feedback — The only way to improve
• 00:18:06 The toothpaste fight and the zero-to-ten scale
• 00:23:55 Managing high-stakes anxiety
• 00:29:30 Why mistakes make you human
• 00:36:15 Don't assume they'll connect the dots
• 00:37:57 Wrap-up — Think faster, talk smarter