In this podcast episode, I analyze United States President Joe Biden's COVID-19 response through the political figure of Jeff Zients, who was the COVID-19 Response Coordinator early on in Biden's administration before becoming the White House Chief-of-Staff. I introduce Zients as a former bagel chain owner, using his occupation as an inconspicuous entry point into Zients' career. I then peel back the layers of Zients' past as a businessman to reveal that he has consistently prioritized corporate profits and self-interest over public health.