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I’m talking in this episode about a set of beliefs (part of your default program) that are guaranteed to bring you resentment, burnout, overwhelm, anxiety, frustration and stress.   And they will guarantee that all the relationships that these beliefs connect to (romantic, friends, family, community and work) will be tarnished.

It is of course the pattern known as people pleasing.

You do what you do, because of what you think of yourself.  And more accurately, who you have been conditioned to believe you are.

It is behind the unquestioned belief that putting everyone else first, regardless of your needs is ok.

It is behind the belief that you will be happy if you can make others happy.

It’s not.  It’s conditioned martyrdom.  

Airline safety briefings always say to put your oxygen mask on first before helping anyone else, EVEN your children!

So why do so many people struggle with pleasing themselves when they find pleasing others their main focus?

Because it’s what’s been modelled to them.  By family and to a greater or lesser extent by society.