Queerly Speaking

The Perfect Mormon Doesn’t Exist (But I Tried Anyway)


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Episode Summary: In this powerful and heartfelt episode of Queerly Speaking, Nat and Tami sit down with guest Kris Harline to unpack the layered experience of growing up Mormon—from the doctrine to the dissonance. Together, they explore what it means to be a "Jack Mormon," navigating faith transitions, early marriages, and the lingering fears tied to religious teachings. The conversation delves into the emotional weight of tithing, the complexities of Mormon theology around the afterlife, and the healing that can come from divorce and rediscovery. Most importantly, they reflect on the freedom and responsibility of raising children outside of religious constraints—with love, intention, and authenticity.

Key Takeaways:

  • Growing up Mormon shapes identity, relationships, and life choices in deeply unique ways.
  • A "Jack Mormon" is someone who identifies with the faith culturally but is not strict in following the rules.
  • Early marriage is often encouraged due to strict teachings about sex and purity.
  • It's common to question faith when personal experiences clash with religious teachings.
  • Tithing—10% of income—can create significant financial strain for families.
  • Mormon beliefs about the afterlife are complex, including multiple "kingdoms" and a waiting period for souls.
  • Fear-based theology can impact mental health and create lasting anxiety around death and judgment.
  • Divorce, though stigmatized, can be a doorway to healing and self-empowerment.
  • Love after loss often brings unexpected joy and a redefined sense of purpose.
  • Raising kids without organized religion allows for a more expansive, values-based approach to life and identity.

💬 Join the conversation: Have you navigated faith transitions or redefined family outside of religious norms? Share your story with us [email protected] or dm us on instagram to be featured in a future episode! [Spotify] | [Apple Podcasts] | [YouTube]

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Queerly SpeakingBy Natalie Jones