In this episode, market share liability is analyzed through a philosphical lens. It is argued that market share liability ought to be rejected as a legal doctrine. The deontological context for this rejection is presented as three pillars: (1) Predictability Is Not Causation, (2) The Concern of the Nonspecific Actor, and (3) A Kantian Objection: Adherence to the Formula of Humanity. A secondary argument is put forth from a consequentialist foundation. Objections are considered, and the conviction is maintained.