The Porn Solution with Carol the Coach

Today, Carol the Coach interviews Sandra Shachar PhD, who has just released The Solution, Relationship Repair After ography Betrayal. In her book she realizes that can fracture a couples relationship. She writes, "It is likely that your relationship is in crisis following the discovery of hidden ography use. If you, as the discovering partner, accidentally learned about your mate’s ography habit, you may be in a state of shock and disbelief. Perhaps you did not know they were looking at at all. An additional shock may have been seeing the kind of ography they were viewing. You may be feeling hurt, angry, disgusted, confused, devastated, or all of these emotions at the same time. These feelings and reactions (and many more!) are all normal upon the discovery that your partner betrayed your trust with this secret behavior." In The Solution, Dr Shachar, helps you navigate the crisis, learn about betrayal trauma, and walk you through the steps to healthy living again!

For the person whose behavior was discovered, when you were confronted you may have “come clean” immediately—admitting your use of ography, promising it would never happen again and begging for forgiveness. On the other hand, you may have tried to explain looking at as a result of the state of your relationship or because of something your partner did or did not do. Perhaps you feel they are overreacting and that “everyone does it, so it’s not a big deal.” You may have tried to reassure your partner that “it isn’t what you think.” Perhaps you feel angry and defensive when they barrage you with questions, guilt and shame for having hidden this from them, or all of these emotions at different times.She wants to help guide you through these normal feelings and come up with an action plan for to help set boundries for your own mental health!