With all of the amazing advances in technology, the increased awareness of our mental health, and apps, shows, programs, and therapists at our fingertips, why is it so hard to be happy? Tony discusses the "surprising psychology of why dissatisfaction is hardwired" from the article "Why You're Never Going to Be Satisfied With Life," by Nir Eyal https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/automatic-you/202207/why-you-re-never-going-be-satisfied-life

"http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. 

You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.

Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

----------------------------------------------------TRANSCRIPT---------------------------------------------

[00:00:22] Hey, everybody, welcome to episode 330 of the Virtual Couch. And I'm going to start today with a reading from one of my favorite books of all time. That book is The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris. So why is it so difficult to be happy to answer this question? Let's take a journey back in time. The modern human mind, with its amazing ability to analyze and plan and create and communicate, has largely evolved over the last 200,000 years or so since our species, Homo sapiens, first appeared on the planet. But our minds did not evolve to make us feel good, so that we could tell jokes and write poems or say, I love you, how our minds evolved to help us survive in a world fraught with danger. So imagine that you're an early human hunter gatherer. What are your essential needs in order to survive and reproduce? There are four of them food, water, shelter and sex. But none of these things matter if you are dead. So the number one priority of the primitive human mind was to look out for anything that might harm you and avoid it. The primitive mind was basically a don't get killed device and it proved enormously useful. The better that our ancestors became at anticipating and avoiding danger, the longer they lived and the more children they have. And you can, quite frankly, thank them right now for the fact that you are here listening to this podcast.

[00:01:38] So with each generation, the human mind became increasingly skilled at predicting and avoiding danger. And now, after 100,000 years of evolution, the modern mind is constantly on the lookout, assessing and judging everything that we encounter. Is this good or is it bad? The safer is a dangerous. Is it harmful or helpful? But these days, according to Dr. Russ Harris, it's not. The saber tooth tigers or wooly mammoths that are mine warns us about. Instead, it's losing our job, being rejected, getting a speeding ticket, embarrassing ourselves in public, getting cancer or 1,000,001 other common worry. So as a result, we spend a lot of time worrying about things that more often than not never happen. Now, another essential for the survival of any early human is to belong to a group. So if your group, if your clan boots you out, it will not be long before the wolves find you. So how does your mind protect you from rejection? By the group? By comparing you with everybody else in the group. Do I fit in? Am I doing the right thing? Am I contributing enough? Am I as good as the others? And am I doing anything that might give me rejected, kicked out or booted? Does that sound familiar? So our modern day minds are continually warning us of rejection and comparing us to the rest of society. Here's the part where I want to insert old man social media rant right here.