INTPs can often run into the challenge of their harshness not being appreciate but we also feel like we shouldn't be softer or grow in any way. While I don't think we should just adapt to the world completely, one of the best ways to accomplish your detail to help without being harsh is by asking questions. It's a way that we can allow others to borrow our introverted thinking function without forcing it on them because at it's core, as much as we want to, we can't make a brain do something it's not ready to do. 

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