In this first episode about dating, Ariel talks about the world of dating, which is even more different than it was even five years ago and there’s some key information she wants to share to keep people safe, to help you stay prepared and help them do this process intentionally. If you’re single, you’re definitely going to want to listen to these shows because there’s information in them that you may not be aware of and could make a huge difference in your life.

Ariel's upcoming book is The Empowered Woman's Guide to Online Dating (see pre-order link, below.)

"How Low Will Men with High Self-Esteem Go? Self-Esteem as a Moderator of Gender Differences in Minimum Relationship Standards," published in the journal Sex Roles in 2009

Make Me Smart Podcast: 52 percent women single census—Wells Fargo report. In 1900, only  7 percent of women were single. Tracked by the U.S. Census Bureau. There is a 20 percent increase in last decade of women who never married. 

“Every choice you make is a trade-off against something else…that applies to any limited resource that you need to manage, like your time, your energy, your focus or your attention. And that opens up two questions: what matters most; and how do you align your decision-making around what matters most?”

"Afford Anything: Build a Better Life," Podcast with Paula Pant.

What You Need to Address BEFORE You Date:

• Avoid shutting down by saying, “Well I just won’t date ever again,” You have to keep making an effort if you want to meet someone—just hone that effort and be specific and clear as you go through the process.
• Avoid getting depressed about your prospects.  Many things in life that are worthwhile are also challenging. 
• What beliefs do you have about how men should treat women?
• What beliefs do you have about how women should act in the dating process?
• What beliefs do you have about communication, respect, and being treated well?
• What beliefs do you have about monogamy, and do they still need to apply to you and your life?
• What is your tolerance for being rejected and resilience from recovering from that?
• What is your tolerance for needing to take time to sort through matches who do not fit?
• How persistent are you in making an effort to advocate for what you need and want?
• What is your self-esteem level like? What can you do to improve it?
• If you feel defensive at all when reading this book, what are you defending against?
• If you never give men a chance (after you have screen them first, of course), what are your fears of intimacy?
• Do you have fears about making changes in your life?
• If you are willing to take risks, evaluate that as well—dating can be very risky—make sure the risks are balanced and not endangering you or your children (like having a man you don’t know showing up to your house).
• Are you willing to say “no” when you need to, or are you a people pleaser?
• What are your deeper feelings about men—do you carry resentment and negativity toward them?  Do you need to clear those feelings before you date?
• When you encounter men who treat you poorly, do you clear the negative energy you feel toward them before you engage with someone else, or are you allowing those feelings to build up inside you?
• What are your deeper feelings about yourself—your attractiveness, your worth, your ability to have a relationship?

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• In 1900 only 7% of women were single, in 2020 52% of women are currently single. That’s a significant jump in 120 years. And there’s a 20% increase in the last decade of women who have never married. As single women in the 21st century, we have our own opinions, our own boundaries, our own money, our own success, our own jobs and our own decisions that we’re making and a lot of times our own kids. Naturally that makes dating more challenging for us.
• Online dating used to be people matching up, having conversations and seeing if they could have a relationship. Now even on sites like eHarmony there are scammers, ghost profiles, and people looking for immediate sexual connection. If you’re looking for a relationship you’re going o have to screen very carefully, you’ll have to ask very specific questions or pay attention to what those people are saying to you and how they say it so that you can be clear on who’s looking for sex and who’s looking for a relationship.
• Some things to address emotionally and mentally before you date include: Don’t shut down and say I never want to date again because if you want to meet someone you’re going to have to make an effort and put yourself out there. The more specific and clear you are about what you’re looking for will make it smoother. Don’t share your last name or details about your kids on a first date for security and safety purposes.
• It’s important for you to know what kind of communication, respect or being treated well looks like. For me, being treated well means you hour my boundaries. If I say I’m interested in ‘x’ but not in ‘y’ and they keep pushing for ‘y’, I’m not going to date that person, I want to be listened to, like most people do.

BEST MOMENTS

“I’ve (unfortunately) been doing online dating for about seven and a half years and I’ve talked to thousands of men, dealt with thousands of scammers and have been on over 130 dates.”
“What matters most and how do you align your decision making around what matters most?”
“People online have a lot less emotional sensitivity than they did when we used to meet in person. There are things that people say that are completely inappropriate or could be considered sexual harassment that they will say in a first sentence of a first contact.”
“Dating, by its very nature, is a process of acceptance or rejection and most of the time it’s rejection. You won’t believe what people will reject you for.”

ABOUT THE HOST

Ariel is a Licensed Massage Therapist, Registered Clinical Hypnotherapist, Reiki Master, Empath and Psychic who has been involved in holistic healing since 1988. She is also an educator, speaker, author and mentor for empaths, spiritual seekers and medical professionals. To reach Ariel, go to www.arielhubbard.com, where you will be able to contact her directly.  Please let her know you heard her on the podcast and the assistance you need or question you have.

Website: www.arielhubbard.com
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Pre-order form for Ariel's educational, hilarious and spicy dating book:
The Empowered Woman's Guide to Online Dating: Set Your BS Tolerance to Zero
https://eworder.replynow.ontraport.net/
Access to the Mindset Reset Club: https://mindsetreset.members-only.online/