In this episode, as ‘cuffing season’ is upon us, Ariel talks about dating and her book, The Empowered Woman's Guide to Online Dating. 

Ariel's Upcoming Book is:

The Empowered Woman's Guide to Online Dating: Set Your BS Tolerance to Zero 

Get on the pre-order list! https://eworder.replynow.ontraport.net/

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Cuffing Season is a term people use for the need to get together with someone, especially during the holidays, when they’re going out to social events and they’re going to be judged if they’re single. Also, when it’s cold and lonely and dark, a lot of people want to get with somebody, so they’ve got someone to hang out with and spend time with.
• When a lot of us were younger, we thought dating was hanging out with friends, you get to know somebody in person, you decide whether you like them, you spend time together going out to movies and dinner and maybe over time it may evolve into something that has a romantic/sexual connection. When I started dating this time around I realised that something had greatly changed during the dating process. It took two years of men asking me outrageously inappropriate questions, skipping dating steps, practising forced intimacy, breadcrumbing me (stringing me along), ghosting me, and having a lot of uncomfortable conversations to realise the inherent nature of dating had changed.
• What’s happened in the last 35 years in dating – I call it the devolution of dating. In 1985 we met people through friends or relatives at a social event or a bar. We spend time doing activities, we develop trust and a connection through activities, talking and interaction. Sometimes this included sex. We would then meet that person’s family and friends and interact with them as well, and after an extended period of time we decide to have a committed relationship and maybe get married. In 2005 the process is meet somebody through friends, family or online, potentially go out for dinner or maybe a coffee date and about 25-30% of men wanted sex on a first date and these men were often frowned upon and women warned each other about them. We’d still establish a deeper connection though by doing activities with them, meeting their friends and family, etc. In 2015 you meet someone them same way, you talk online for weeks/months before meeting them and be asked specific and sexually explicit questions almost always around sex. They want to find out if you want sex with them and, if you’re lucky, you’ll get a coffee date or dinner and 50-60% of the men expect sex on the first date. If you’re lucky you make it to a second date. Anything long term is an unlikely possibility. Now, in 2022, you meet someone online, sometimes you’re asked if you’re vaccinated because of Covid, and a lot of people will talk to you for a few minutes via text of live video, if you get past that first conversation you might talk for a week or two and a lot of times, they’ll ghost you. If you’re lucky, you’ll go on a coffee date. But at least 30-70% of men will send you an unsolicited ‘D pic’ and they expect you to reciprocate. If you meet them, they’re going to expect to have sex with you and you’ll never see them again. It’s almost impossible these days to find someone who’s interested in a long-term relationship. Of course, there are exceptions.
• When men take women for granted they don’t behave the way they know would be the best way to act. They know how to do the right thing, they just don’t want to do it. Instead of putting the effort in, he’s just looking for expedient sex and he treats you like something that he can just order up like a pizza. This behaviour is a gigantic red flag and you need to block them immediately.

BEST MOMENTS

“I’m a veteran of dating. I’ve done it at various points in my life like when I was looking to get married because I wanted to become a parent, most recently after I got divorced, I had a period of dating and have talked online to literally thousands of men and have dated around 125.”
“If you don’t know what a ‘D Pic’ is, imagine an anatomical male region of the body and people take pictures of themselves and they send these to women, often unsolicited. The crazy part is they expect women to send pictures back. And they consider this a courtship ritual. It’s frightening.”
“If you go online you’re going to see some crazy photos, most of which are unflattering, you’re going to see very little effort at trying to put the best foot forward, and usually they’ll go straight into sexual stuff unless you’ve set up boundaries.”
“Having access to more women than they normally would strengthens this attitude of ‘plenty of fish in the sea’ and they think they have innumerable opportunities to meet these women, so they take the ‘throw noodles against the wall and see what sticks’ approach.”

ABOUT THE HOST

Ariel is a Licensed Massage Therapist, Registered Clinical Hypnotherapist, Reiki Master, Empath and Psychic who has been involved in holistic healing since 1988. She is also an educator, speaker, author and mentor for empaths, spiritual seekers and medical professionals. To reach Ariel, go to www.arielhubbard.com, where you will be able to contact her directly.  Please let her know you heard her on the podcast and the assistance you need or question you have.

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Pre-order form for Ariel's educational, hilarious and spicy dating book:
The Empowered Woman's Guide to Online Dating: Set Your BS Tolerance to Zero
https://eworder.replynow.ontraport.net/
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