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Ego-death is the goal if you are aiming for full enlightenment. To the Ego this holds the same level of threat as bodily death, and so carries the same weight of fear. This is a sign you are doing something right on the spiritual journey, notice that your intuition here changes, the waves of existential terror have a different quality to them now, and no matter the emotion that rises, you intuit that ultimately you are safe.

It gets so very tough, and you feel so very awful at times, my heart goes out to you and I want to say thank you for persevering through this, you are doing the world a huge service by seeing this task through to it's end.

Have courage and don't turn back now, look after yourself and hold strong.

It's always darkest before the dawn.