The Power of Purposeful Prefacing

Andrew Stanton, Oscar winning film director, screenwriter and producer said, “Working at Pixar you learn the really honest, hard way of making a great movie, which is to surround yourself with people who are much smarter than you, much more talented than you, and incite constructive criticism; you’ll get a much better movie out of it.”

Today’s blog will inspire you to set a purposeful context for any conversation that you initiate to make a positive difference. The form of communication we’re exploring is called prefacing - if you start a conversation off on the right foot, it is more likely to go in the right direction.

For example, I was with a client last week and I sensed that he needed to upgrade his attitude towards his boss. He declared, “She doesn’t want me to collaborate with her. She wants to make all the decisions and just tell me what to do.” I knew that his point of view could be valid, but it was dis-empowering. I wanted him to consider a new view, but I wasn’t going to argue the point.

So I prefaced our next conversation with the words, “I want to provide you with some constructive criticism. You’ll hear it as good news.” By framing it up that way, he was able to hear my criticism as a contribution and a worthy suggestion rather than as me negating and debating him.

Prefacing is particularly useful when providing constructive criticism. Letting people know that your purpose is to empower them and to explore possibilities establishes a positive purpose. You are more likely to have the person listen and engage rather than misunderstand you. Without that preface, people you are managing might take a defensive position. When you declare your intent and/or ask a person if they are truly open to another view, you save time and energy. Such clear communication prevents bad feelings and makes the difference between a failed project and a successful year.

Be careful not to use prefacing as an inauthentic way to hide true negative feelings of disappointment, anger or frustration. Get over those emotions first. Make sure an authentic positive intention of your preface is fully appreciated and accepted. Otherwise, a preface can amplify the negative feelings they are trying to hide.

So what about you? What conversations will you generate this week with a positive, empowering purpose and how will your approach to prefacing make a difference?