There’s a lot of misunderstanding about the use of gender-neutral pronouns they/them in the workplace and in the world. Many people in your organization or in your life, especially younger people, would be feeling a lot more inclusion if people used these pronouns correctly. In this episode, Michael Baran delves into the many ways that people are messing up – by ignoring people’s identities, by debating the grammar of it (or some other devil’s advocate position), by rolling eyes or pausing before using those pronouns, as if to communicate something about it not being “normal.” Michael also provides straightforward and actionable tips, for using the pronouns correctly and for sharing your pronouns as a simple act of allyship.

Have you struggled to understand why people share pronouns or what it means to use they/them pronouns? Have you noticed people making others feel uncomfortable by not using their pronouns naturally? What is behind all of this, and what can we do about it?

In this episode of The Culture Advantage, host Michael Baran explains multiple encounters with people messing up on they/them gender pronouns as he would mention that the co-author of his book used those gender-neutral pronouns. He started to wonder whether it was just really hard for people to make their brains do that work if they weren’t used to it. But then he describes a situation in which a swim team coach used gender neutral pronouns perfectly! And it wasn’t because they had a lot of practice; it was because they were announcing a big award and wanted to keep the winner a surprise. 

Michael gives some immediately actionable tips that everyone can follow: (1) use they/them pronouns naturally, without any extra eye rolls or tone changes; (2) give context if you think people need it;(3) understand that this use of they/them as singular has been around since the 1300s, according to Merriam-Webster; (4) speak up, even if it doesn’t affect you directly; (5) understand that using the pronouns that people want to be called does not threaten your own worldview; (6) don’t debate with people or play devil’s advocate, as they have thought long and hard about their identity; and (7) know that you will mess up sometimes and that the key is correcting it and moving on.

This episode will be useful for everyone, with tips that will be used both in and out of work. The lessons in the episode are especially important for those trying to build cultures of inclusion in their workplaces. Intentional attention to detail and to practice around these issues is vital to ensure that the many nonbinary people in your organization (and other LGBTQIA+ people as well) feel their best and can do their best at your organization.