There is a problem with masturbation. But what is it? Is it because it will cause you to waste away till you’re more animal than human? Is it because ringing the devil's doorbell is a guaranteed one-way trip to the fiery pits of hell? Is it because it’s the gateway drug that leads to every depraved sexual act imaginable? Or is it something even worse?

Let’s pull back the stained crusty sheets from the bed of truth and discover the real problem with this solo pastime.