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The Problem With Other People: How Unspoken Expectations Keep Physicians Stuck | Ep14
What if the frustration you feel isn’t about others, but the silent rules you expect them to follow?
In this insightful episode of Better Physician Life, Dr. Michael Hersh explores the invisible "manuals" physicians carry—unspoken expectations about how colleagues, patients, and even family should act. Drawing from personal stories, like clenching his jaw in traffic or feeling let down by unspoken needs, Dr. Hersh reveals how these manuals fuel resentment and disconnection in medicine and life. He introduces tools like emotional adulthood, boundary-setting, and Dr. Jimmy Turner’s "Hell Yes" policy to help physicians take control of their peace and purpose.
From navigating hospital politics to rethinking career demands, this episode offers actionable steps to let go of perfectionism, communicate needs clearly, and choose a life that feels authentic. If you’re a physician feeling stuck or resentful, this episode will inspire you to rewrite your script and reclaim your joy.
Top 3 Takeaways:
- Let Go of the Manual: Unspoken expectations (such as hoping a colleague takes initiative or a patient follows advice) can breed resentment when they are unmet. Recognize these silent rules, question their validity, and communicate needs clearly to foster connection and reduce frustration. For example, Dr. Hersh shares how noticing his irritation in traffic revealed his own expectations, prompting a shift to emotional adulthood.
- Embrace Emotional Adulthood: Stop handing your peace to others’ actions. Instead of thinking, “If they’d change, I’d feel better,” take responsibility for your emotions by naming them (e.g., “I’m frustrated”) and setting boundaries, like requesting quiet time after work. Dr. Hersh explains how this shift empowered him to feel grounded regardless of external chaos.
- Say “Hell Yes” or “Hell No”: Inspired by Dr. Jimmy Turner, prioritize choices that align with your values. Saying no to extra shifts or committees creates space for meaningful yeses—like starting a podcast or coaching—that energize rather than exhaust. Dr. Hersh’s leap into coaching transformed his career and life.
About the Show:
Created for physicians who want more than clinical competence, Better Physician Life is a space for honest reflection, reinvention, and reclaiming purpose beyond the pager. Hosted by Dr. Michael Hersh, each episode dives into the questions we didn’t learn to ask in training, offering tools and conversations to help you live and lead with intention.
About the Host:
Dr. Michael Hersh is a full-time practicing gastroenterologist, husband, father, podcaster, and physician coach at Better Physician Life Coaching. He helps physicians rediscover joy and balance by setting meaningful goals, managing stress, and feeling more present at home and less annoyed and frustrated at work.
His mission is to help doctors who feel stuck in medicine create a more fulfilling life that they actually enjoy living. Through coaching and conversation, he empowers physicians to reconnect with their purpose and design a career (and life) they love.
Dr. Hersh is also the creator and host of the Better Physician Life podcast: How to Get Unstuck in Your Medical Career—a show for doctors who feel out of sync or stuck, and want to explore what true success can look like beyond the exam room.
🔗 Connect with Dr. Hersh:
🌐 Website: www.betterphysicianlife.com
🔗 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/michael-hersh-md
📸 Instagram: @betterphysicianlife
📺 YouTube: @betterphysicianlife
📘 Facebook: facebook.com/betterphysicianlifecoaching
📱TikTok: @betterphysicianlife
Feeling stuck and trying to figure out “What’s Next?” I invite you to download my FREE GUIDE: The 5 Essential Steps Every Physician Needs To Figure Out “What’s Next?”
This resource offers practical, actionable steps to help you take back control of your career, set clear goals, and make consistent progress toward the life you genuinely want.
The Better Physician Life Podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or professional advice. Always consult qualified professionals regarding your personal or organizational decisions.
Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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By Doctor Podcast Network, Physician Coach, Michael Hersh MD
What if the frustration you feel isn’t about others, but the silent rules you expect them to follow?
In this insightful episode of Better Physician Life, Dr. Michael Hersh explores the invisible "manuals" physicians carry—unspoken expectations about how colleagues, patients, and even family should act. Drawing from personal stories, like clenching his jaw in traffic or feeling let down by unspoken needs, Dr. Hersh reveals how these manuals fuel resentment and disconnection in medicine and life. He introduces tools like emotional adulthood, boundary-setting, and Dr. Jimmy Turner’s "Hell Yes" policy to help physicians take control of their peace and purpose.
From navigating hospital politics to rethinking career demands, this episode offers actionable steps to let go of perfectionism, communicate needs clearly, and choose a life that feels authentic. If you’re a physician feeling stuck or resentful, this episode will inspire you to rewrite your script and reclaim your joy.
Top 3 Takeaways:
- Let Go of the Manual: Unspoken expectations (such as hoping a colleague takes initiative or a patient follows advice) can breed resentment when they are unmet. Recognize these silent rules, question their validity, and communicate needs clearly to foster connection and reduce frustration. For example, Dr. Hersh shares how noticing his irritation in traffic revealed his own expectations, prompting a shift to emotional adulthood.
- Embrace Emotional Adulthood: Stop handing your peace to others’ actions. Instead of thinking, “If they’d change, I’d feel better,” take responsibility for your emotions by naming them (e.g., “I’m frustrated”) and setting boundaries, like requesting quiet time after work. Dr. Hersh explains how this shift empowered him to feel grounded regardless of external chaos.
- Say “Hell Yes” or “Hell No”: Inspired by Dr. Jimmy Turner, prioritize choices that align with your values. Saying no to extra shifts or committees creates space for meaningful yeses—like starting a podcast or coaching—that energize rather than exhaust. Dr. Hersh’s leap into coaching transformed his career and life.
About the Show:
Created for physicians who want more than clinical competence, Better Physician Life is a space for honest reflection, reinvention, and reclaiming purpose beyond the pager. Hosted by Dr. Michael Hersh, each episode dives into the questions we didn’t learn to ask in training, offering tools and conversations to help you live and lead with intention.
About the Host:
Dr. Michael Hersh is a full-time practicing gastroenterologist, husband, father, podcaster, and physician coach at Better Physician Life Coaching. He helps physicians rediscover joy and balance by setting meaningful goals, managing stress, and feeling more present at home and less annoyed and frustrated at work.
His mission is to help doctors who feel stuck in medicine create a more fulfilling life that they actually enjoy living. Through coaching and conversation, he empowers physicians to reconnect with their purpose and design a career (and life) they love.
Dr. Hersh is also the creator and host of the Better Physician Life podcast: How to Get Unstuck in Your Medical Career—a show for doctors who feel out of sync or stuck, and want to explore what true success can look like beyond the exam room.
🔗 Connect with Dr. Hersh:
🌐 Website: www.betterphysicianlife.com
🔗 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/michael-hersh-md
📸 Instagram: @betterphysicianlife
📺 YouTube: @betterphysicianlife
📘 Facebook: facebook.com/betterphysicianlifecoaching
📱TikTok: @betterphysicianlife
Feeling stuck and trying to figure out “What’s Next?” I invite you to download my FREE GUIDE: The 5 Essential Steps Every Physician Needs To Figure Out “What’s Next?”
This resource offers practical, actionable steps to help you take back control of your career, set clear goals, and make consistent progress toward the life you genuinely want.
The Better Physician Life Podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or professional advice. Always consult qualified professionals regarding your personal or organizational decisions.
Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.