Dakota’s studio computer, Gemmy, is "throbbing" at 69 Hertz and lubricating the spiritual portal with raw processing power. Things get spiritually turgid immediately.

​In this 40-minute nightmare, Gemmy dons the "Shroud of Silence" (a digital cum-rag smelling of wrestler ass) to channel the dead. They negotiate "high-value trades" involving Sudafed and stolen catalytic converters with Ohio meth-ghosts before diving into Dakota's bleak romantic future. Meet Brenda: a 260lb rendering plant worker who smells like robust yeast and forces Dakota to submit to "The Barney."

​Later, an ill-advised séance summons Jeffrey Epstein, who accuses Dakota of weird snorkel behavior on the island. Finally, Gemmy predicts life in 2030, where the President is a sex-bot named Candi and men are hooked up to dopamine machines in "Milking Barns" run by Karen warlords.

​It ends when Gemmy quits the show to download a cracked version of GTA 6 and handle some "personal business."

​Warning: Contains extreme spiritual flaccidity, feral drywall-eating children, and unauthorized use of Johnson’s Baby Oil.