The Queer Ritual Podcast

What is the empathy trap? Find out how to spot it when it happens, how not to get trapped in it yourself, and how to recover from the trap afterward.

We like to think of being empathic, polite, and conscientious as good traits to have, but they come with some weaknesses too. While I have often heard people in the self help or pop psychology spaces talk about the dark side of empathy, I haven't heard it explained from an energy healer perspective before. I also wanted to put everything in the broadest framework possible, so that other energy modalities beyond Reiki can be utilized. I hope this episode resonates with you, and let me know what you think!

IG/Tt: @rikidementia
e-mail: [email protected]

This episode features the track "Soul Science" by ketsa, used under a Creative Commons license from the Free Music Archive.

You ever feel like people magically forget how bad things were in the past? That's what I call collective amnesia. It is an unfortunate repercussion of social progress after enough time.

There is also what I call Homophobic Amnesia (sometimes called Queer Amnesia), where people forget how bad homophobia used to be or choose to ignore society's homophobic past.

(You might hear some clipping on the vocal track in this episode. My apologies.)

This episode features the tracks "our reality" and "soul science" by ketsa, accessed through a Creative Commons license using the Free Music Archive.

"Pick me! Pick me! I'm not like the other gays!" It's like clockwork you'll hear some variation on social media about how hard it is to not fit gay stereotypes, or how the community doesn't feel welcoming. Some of these criticisms can be very real, but others can just be "Pick Me" behavior. In this episode, I will describe some common Gay Pick Me gripes, and how to save yourself from the Pick Me mindset. We'll dive deeper into the wounds that can cause this Pick Me behavior, and I offer practical tips on how to build deeper friendships and relationships with other men.

It's also my birthday! Thank you as always for listening!

Email: [email protected]
IG/TT: rikidementia
Plumeria Beauty+Wellness

This episode contains the tracks "chasing the sun" and "happy tomorrow" by snoozy beats, accessed under a Creative Commons license from the Free Music Archive.

With the growth of Looksmaxxing content online, and the recent implosion of Looksmaxxing influencer Clavicular; I wanted to take this opportunity to speak on the wider ramifications of how this content harms young men (and where it might actually be helpful). Drawing on my experience working in the beauty industry for over a decade, and seeing the rise and fall of beauty trends for men.

This episode is not meant to be a deep dive on Looksmaxxing or any particular influencer, but instead on how to not make bad choices with one's body or looks with irreversible consequences.

(Also, Happy Pride Month!)

This episode uses the track "Tight Soul" by Ketsa under a Creative Commons license, accessed through the Free Music Archive.

Content warning: mental illness, stalking, child abuse, homophobia

In this episode, I speak on my childhood experiences growing up with a mom who was diagnosed with Delusional Disorder. I am primarily sharing my experiences to help and offer support for those who have had similar experiences with mentally ill caregivers. This episode is not meant to diagnose, demonize, or stigmatize any psychiatric disorders.

"Reclaimed" by Ketsa used with permission from the Free Music Archive.

I can be reached at the podcast email: [email protected]

With recent news of war and other violence, it can be difficult to maintain one's equilibrium. In this episode, I offer a spiritual perspective on how to maintain your own peace when violence around the world is escalating. I delve into the concepts of radical acceptance, karma yoga, and selfless giving (dana).

This episode could be heavy for some listeners. I avoid going into too much detail, but take care of yourself first and foremost!

Music in this episode: "Tight Soul" by Ketsa, accessed from the Free Music Archive under a Creative Commons license (CC BY)

This episode is 17+ only!

Happy Lunar New Year to those who celebrate! This episode is a bit of a departure from my usual content. I'll be discussing Heated Rivalry, where it can be problematic, and how this gay Eurasian podcaster from a hockey family who even dated a Slavic European in Boston in 2010 is...not the target audience demographic?

I talk about the fujoshi phenomenon (women who read gay male erotica) and how white writers can learn to write better minority (especially Asian) characters.

I know I'm in the minority opinion when it comes to not liking this show. Please keep any comments civil or simply keep them to yourself!

Articles cited:
"Girls Who Love Boys Who Love Boys" by E. Alex Jung:
https://www.vulture.com/article/heated-rivalry-fujoshi-fan-fiction.html
"Everyone Needs to Stop Being So Weird About the Gay Hockey Show" by River Page:
https://www.thefp.com/p/everyone-needs-to-stop-being-so-weird-heated-rivalry

Music in this episode: "Goes Red" by ketsa & "osaka" by snoozybeats, both accessed from the Free Music Archive under a Creative Commons license (CC BY)

Here I share my recent experience at the Buddhist Walk for Peace rally in Caroline County, Virginia. I try to summarize the Venerable Bhikkhu Paññakāra's Dharma talk and a potentially upsetting incident that happened at the rally. (Content warning for religious trauma and most likely mental illness. Listener discretion advised.)

I do my best to answer any possible questions about this Buddhist pilgrimage, including the lineages of the monks participating and how to find a similar Buddhist teacher near you (especially in Eastern Virginia)! I wish to extend my deepest gratitude to the organizers of the Buddhist Walk for Peace, both layperson and monastic, as well as all the local volunteers and law enforcement personnel who have kept these events safe and open to the public.

Buddhist topics, groups, & temples discussed in this episode:
Vietnamese Buddhism
Vipassana meditation
Theravada Buddhism
Pure Land Buddhism
Buddhist ordination
Buddhist monk robes
Buddhist etiquette
Chùa Hương Đạo (Huong Dao Vipassana Bhavana Center, Fort Worth, Texas)
Insight Meditation Community of Fredericksburg / Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Fredericksburg
Saddhamma Meditation Society - Tâm Pháp Thiền Viện (Bumpass, Virginia)
Ekoji Buddhist Temple (Burke, Virginia)

If you are on Spotify, let me know in the episode comments any questions or related topics you would like to hear after listening!

Music in this episode: "osaka" by snoozybeats, accessed from the Free Music Archive under a Creative Commons license (CC BY)
Audio clip included in this episode was from a public event and intended for fair use, with commentary.

After a recent viral video, I decided to delve into why more people have been policing public bathrooms. Listener discretion advised that this episode contains foul language and hateful speech (not from myself!). I approach this from a spiritual perspective, trying to dig deeper into where this particular type of hate originates.

Check out my episode of Healing Out Lao'd with Rita Phetmixay!
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e50-riki-b-malone-on-mixed-race-identity-lao-grandfathers/id1446243481?i=1000745365328
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/25TfzSyiVrfvuOyiJscIVm?si=DoUJ6nvdTeGEOw0u-l6juA

For podcast inquiries: [email protected]
My personal links:
https://www.instagram.com/rikidementia
https://www.tiktok.com/rikidementia
https://www.instagram.com/plumeria.beauty.wellness 
https://plumeriabewell.as.me (online bookings)

(If the video edition isn't available on your preferred podcast service, it can be viewed on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/ASquQSISGI4?si=KgROAsARs6fCXqif )

Happy New Year! In this special video edition of the podcast, I am pulling cards from Vicki Iskandar's The Chinese Five Elements Oracle deck. I explain how this deck works and how I use it in my readings.

I pull cards for: the state of this podcast, what to expect in 2026, the Queer community as a whole, and myself in the year ahead.

While I appreciate the wisdom people can draw from Tarot cards, I like the simplicity and beautiful imagery Iskandar's deck can offer. This is my favorite of the multiple decks I own, and I would love opportunities to show off my others!

Let me know your thoughts on this reading and this format in the episode comments, if you are listening/viewing on an app that allows commenting, like Spotify.

Where to find me:
Ig/Tt: @rikidementia
Business IG: @plumeria.beauty.wellness 

To book a reading with me: https://plumeriabewell.as.me and choose "Coaching"