In this episode of The Rediscovered Self, Erica explores why we can become so harsh with ourselves—especially when our capacity changes or life slows us down.
Drawing from her own experience of a slower-than-expected recovery from hip surgery, Erica explores the way we often are stuck comparing our present selves to old versions of ourselves, and the unconscious wiring that is underneath it all: the wiring that says that our worth and safety is dependent on external accomplishments and productivity.
But what if self-comparrison and self-criticism isn't actually motivating us or even serving our greatest interest? What if self-critism–although rooted in the idea of protection– actually keeps us from being our best selves?
Why achievement can become intertwined with our sense of safety, belonging, and worthWhy comparing yourself to an older version of yourself can be just as painful and unhelpful as comparing yourself to someone elseWhat might be underneath the voice that says, “I should be doing better” or “I should be further along by now.”How self-criticism can protect us from feeling grief, vulnerability, and tendernessWhy compassion creates more space and resilience than shameHow to notice the inner critic without becoming the critic & letting it run your lifeFour simple practices for meeting yourself with more curiosity, compassion, and presenceJournal Questions
As a child, what did I need to do to feel seen & accepted?As a child, Who did I need to be to belong?Where am I comparing myself to a past version of myself?What am I actually grieving beneath my self-criticism?What belief makes me think I have to be "better" before I deserve compassion?If my closest friend were struggling with what I am struggling with, what would I say to her?What would it feel like to measure my life by presence instead of performance?Accompanying Meditation for Cultivating Safety in your Nervous System: Click Here
I hope this podcast episode serves you in some small way.
If it does, don’t forget to send me an email at [email protected] – Introduce yourself, let me know you’re tuning in, and let me know which part of the episode resonated for you. You can also reach out on Instagram @TheRediscoveredSelf. I can’t wait to hear from you!
Looking forward to continuing to grow and nurture this group of women, mothers and leaders who are ready to reclaim their birthright - which is to heal, shine your light, and thrive (not merely survive).