33. The Return of the Q & A – February 2021 Edition

This week, we’re going to move on from our trauma series, but before we do, I want to thank you all for your fantastic feedback during it. I always love our dialogue, and especially during such an important topic, so once again, thank you. As we move on today, it’s time for another Q & A to look at all the questions that have been piling up over the past month, so let’s get started.

The questions this time around range from children displaying shyness, to bringing co-sleeping with your child to an end, to sibling play, and then to driving children around to help them get to sleep. We’ll also look at the age-old concern about getting children to give up their pacifier, as well as what to do when your child is in that “refusing to take ‘no’ for an answer” stage. Once more, we have a full slate of excellent questions that I know so many are wondering about, and I want to encourage you to keep them coming so that, as always, we can work together to address them.

The Finer Details of This Episode:

 There are many different preferences regarding children who appear shy in public

 I have very little patience for anyone ignoring someone who is greeting them

 I don’t care where you sleep as long as everybody sleeps and it works for everybody

 The minute you cave on something, you reinforce the behavior

 To break co-sleeping silently return your child to their bed, prepare for a few sleepless nights, and have someone to help you with backup

 The pandemic seems to have fostered an attitude with some parents to allow undesirable behaviors to continue

 Don’t allow your child to do something that makes you dislike or resent them

 Many times, children need to experience the consequences of their actions before they will change their behavior

 Sleep is everything – the best gift you can give your kids is good sleep habits

 I do not like the idea of driving kids around for sleep – find out why sleep is not happening

 Read the chapter about dinner times in Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler, if you haven’t already, about when to have dinner in relation to bed time

 Under the age of 5, everyone sitting down for family dinner at the same time is not nearly as important as getting nutrition and proper sleep

 If you have to make exceptions to sleep routines for some reason, set a date to attend to its end

 Slowly giving up a transitional object (pacifier, blanky, etc.) to which your child has become attached is incredibly stressful for them – doing it quickly is much better

 Cutting a hole in a pacifier so it loses its ‘suck’ appeal can help in giving it up

 There are phases that kids go through (won’t take no for an answer, asking why, etc.) and they usually don’t last too long

 Establishing a response tier such as “’No’ means ‘no’, ‘yes’ means ‘yes’, and ‘maybe’ means ‘probably’ but if you keep being up my ass, it’s going to turn into a ‘no’” can prove beneficial

 If you’re going to cave, cave early

 What you continue to do, fosters the habit – if it’s not working for you, change it

Quotes:

“You can be shy, but you have to say ‘Hello’.”

“With kids…once you start something, it’s really hard to break it…it’s a slippery slope.”

“If something’s not working, change it.”

“If your child is not in the right circadian rhythm, they will have a hard time falling asleep.”

“They get this, like, well connected, juicy time with their kid after work instead of fighting over one more fuckin’ bite.”

“If you know that you have it in you to not cave, then ‘no’ means ‘no’.”

Links:

Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/

Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU

Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - 

https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738

Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?

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