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The Roberta Series is a raw, unfiltered look at what it’s really like to care for a difficult, narcissistic parent at the end of their life. It’s about navigating dementia, denial, and decades of emotional complexity — all while trying to hold onto compassion and your own sense of self. My mom, Roberta, passed in 2021 from dementia. Caring for her — with my husband and brother by my side — was complicated, exhausting, and eye-opening.

Months into our caregiving journey, I discovered a letter my dad wrote to her in 1965, just days before my first birthday. That letter revealed the truth about my parents’ relationship: how I watched him try to make up for his past mistakes, and how my mom never let it go. It became the lens through which I could finally understand the dynamics that shaped my childhood and connected the dots on the chaos I had spent my life witnessing. My dad spent years trying to make amends. My mom never let him.

Through these episodes, I’ll share the stages of our journey — her diagnosis, building our care team, removing her car and cigarettes, placing her in a care facility, and ultimately navigating hospice. This isn’t about bitterness — it’s about truth, healing, and the messy reality of loving someone who could never love you back in the way you needed.

Beneath the logistics lies a deeper truth — the balancing act between duty and resentment, compassion and boundaries, love and endurance.

For anyone who has cared for a parent who is difficult, manipulative, or complicated — or is preparing for that day — this one’s for you.

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