Apparently Quasimodo fell asleep with a cigarette in his mouth and yada yada yada Notre Dame went up in flames. The Catholics are crying, but the molestation victims are thrilled. They overthrew the government in Sudan, and I'm hoping for a dictator with a long ool name and a sweet pair of aviator shades. That plus a white woman appropriates Chinese cooking, minus the MSG, and a chick who really loves Columbine...or maybe just the 1990s, still not sure because she's dead.

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