while we’re on a short production break, i’m revisiting an episode that speaks to a very specific feeling... when your life looks fine on paper, but something internally feels slightly off.

this is a conversation about that in between space and what it actually means to live with intention rather than just momentum.

if you’ve been feeling disconnected, or like you’re drifting without fully understanding why, this episode will likely resonate. If this episode resonates and you’re drawn to navigating life a bit more deeply these days, I offer 1:1 coaching, https://squ.re/45jq3ue

--

want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - [email protected]

have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority

💘

SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority

INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/

TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority

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subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘

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catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel

instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/

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💘

while we’re on a short production break, i’m revisiting one of the more personal episodes from the archive.

this is a reflection on the lessons that have actually shaped how i think, move, and make decisions in my 30s... not the polished version, but the real ones that come from experience.

if you’re in a season of reflection, or questioning where you are and where you’re going, this is one to sit with. If this episode resonates and you’re drawn to navigating life a bit more deeply these days, I offer 1:1 coaching, https://squ.re/45jq3ue

--

Turning 30 is a milestone but it’s also a mirror. In this episode, I share 30 of the most important lessons I’ve learned since stepping into this decade. Some are personal, some are practical, and all of them are rooted in lived experience. Whether you’re 25 or 45, I hope these reflections give you something to carry into your own life.

Highlights include:

1. The truth about love, money, and friendship
2. Why saying no is as powerful as saying yes
3. The underrated art of self-respect

INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/

TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority

YOUTUBE// https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority

Catch up with Shantel!

Instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/

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TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction and Audio Disclaimer

00:24 30 Lessons in My 30s: An Overview

01:48 Health and Fitness Lessons

02:40 Lesson 1: Your Body is Your Only Home

04:32 Lesson 2: Enjoyable Workouts

05:44 Lesson 3: Intuitive Eating

07:22 Lesson 4: Strength Over Thinness

09:07 Lesson 5: Daily Movement

09:53 Lesson 6: Health is Wealth

10:13 Lesson 7: Daily Laughter

11:38 Lessons on People and Relationships

11:49 Lesson 8: Politics vs. Morals

12:57 Lesson 9: Reject Scarcity Mindset

15:00 Lesson 10: Friends Grow Differently

16:07 Lesson 11: Let People Leave

16:25 Lesson 12: Delivery Matters

17:25 Lesson 13: Misery Loves Company

18:15 Lesson 14: Read More

19:55 Lesson 15: Avoid 'Should' Traps

21:23 Lesson 16: Reevaluate Beliefs

21:48 Lesson 17: Life's Unfairness

22:38 Career and Money Lessons

22:43 Lesson 18: Earning Potential

23:06 Women Excel in Sales and Investing

23:40 Earning Potential and Self-Worth

24:05 Taking Risks and Entrepreneurship

24:54 The Importance of Appearance

25:42 Quiet Confidence Over Loud Boasting

26:43 Regret of Inaction

27:31 Indecision is Still a Decision

28:28 Standing Alone for What's Right

29:15 Value of Vintage

30:43 Rising from Rock Bottom

31:21 Building Momentum in Life

33:56 Done is Better Than Perfect

35:33 Pushing Through the Dip

37:31 Do You Like Him or the Idea of Him?

38:41 Men as Followers

41:10 Final Thoughts and Reflections

While we’re on a short production break, I’m revisiting one of the most important conversations we’ve had on The Sage Sorority.

If you’re new here, this is the episode I’d tell you to start with. And if you’ve been listening for a while, it’s one that tends to land differently depending on where you are in your life. If this episode resonates and you’re navigating friendship dynamics more deeply, I offer 1:1 coaching, https://squ.re/45jq3ue

--

The Sisterhood Chronicles (Pt.1): Why Female Friendships Are So Complex (and Beautiful)

Welcome back, ladies! Friendship is one of the most defining relationships in a woman’s life, yet we rarely talk about it with honesty. In this first instalment of The Sisterhood Chronicles, I take a deep dive into the beauty, the mess, and the unspoken truths of adult female friendships. From loyalty and love to boundaries and shifting seasons, we’ll explore what makes these connections so powerful and sometimes, so difficult.

Mentioned in this episode:

Signs of friendship red flags and green flags

Why friendship breakups can hit harder than romantic ones

How female friendship evolves in your 30s

If you enjoyed this episode, you’ll also love [Episode 023: Making New Friends] and [Episode 025: The Friendship Audit] for more real talk on the complexities of sisterhood.

Share your thoughts with me on Instagram @theSageSorority and let's keep the conversation going! Have a beautiful week, ladies xx!

TT's that I mentioned...

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNddxrsjY/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNdd97wyd/

--

TIME STAMPS

00:00 Welcome and Introduction

00:33 The Complexity of Female Friendships

02:34 The Importance of Female Friendships

04:16 The Science Behind Female Friendships

05:26 Authenticity in Female Friendships

08:11 The Reciprocity in Friendships

09:11 The Radical Significance of Female Friendships

18:08 The Unrealistic Expectations of Romantic Partners

25:55 Conclusion and Next Steps

--

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TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority

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Catch up with Shantel!

Instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/

TikTok// https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau

YouTube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline

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subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) rating 💘

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57 episodes. Identity, love, friendship, philosophy, grief, reinvention, quitting, starting over, loneliness, ambition — and everything in between. This week we're picking up right where we left off.

Consider this your orientation to The Sage Sorority, part two. We're covering episodes 26 through 55 — the second chapter of the show, where things got sharper, deeper, and a little more daring. Whether you're brand new here and need a map, or you've been listening since the beginning and need a reminder of everything you already know, this one is for you.

We cover identity and self-concept, dating and love, friendship and sisterhood, philosophy and mindset — and close with a full TSS prescription so you know exactly where to go based on what you're navigating right now.

episodes mentioned:

Ep. 032 — How to Be More Interesting, Pt. 1

Ep. 033 — The Art of Charm: Storytelling, Niche Interests and Presence

Ep. 034 — Autumn Energy: The Great Lock-In (Pt. 1)

Ep. 035 — Autumn Energy Pt. 2: The Social Season

Ep. 036 — Autumn Energy Pt. 3: Harvest What You Planted

Ep. 037 — Autumn Energy Pt. 4: The Woman You're Becoming

Ep. 038 — Autumn Energy Pt. 5: The Rebrand Era

Ep. 040 — Why Philosophy Still Matters (Especially for Women)

Ep. 041 — Attraction vs Compatibility vs Capacity

Ep. 042 — 7 Years in London

Ep. 044 — The Sisterhood Chronicles Pt. 4: Why Adult Friendships (Can) Feel Draining

Ep. 045 — 3 Patterns I'm Noticing in Women's Dating and Friendships Right Now

Ep. 048 — It's Quitter's Day, So Here's Your Permission Slip

Ep. 049 — The Only Dating Advice You Need

Ep. 051 — Why "Putting Yourself Out There" Isn't Working (And What to Do Instead)

Ep. 054 — Stop Waiting. You're Already Her

Ep. 055 — How to Be More Interesting, Pt. 2

books + people mentioned:

Matthew Dicks — Storyworthy (homework for life practice)

Esther Perel — on anxiety vs attraction, and the pull of the familiar

Seth Godin — The Dip (strategic quitting vs giving up)

Maya Angelou — on knowing where you've been before you know where you're going

James Baldwin — "not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced"

Dr. Shelley Taylor (UCLA) — tend and befriend research on female friendship

Ann Friedman and Aminatou Sow — Big Friendship

Katherine May — Wintering

stay connected: Follow on Instagram for updates during the production break → https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/ Submit your anonymous questions for a future AMA → [https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority] Subscribe on Substack → https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority

We're taking a three-week production break after this episode.

Episode 058 drops Thursday, April 9th.

See you then. 🤍

If someone just sent you this episode, welcome. You landed in exactly the right place. This is The Sage Sorority - the podcast that feels less like advice from above and more like the group chat with your most thoughtful friend. Sharp, warm, honest, and always talking to your intelligence, never over it.

In this episode, Shantel takes you back through the first 25 episodes of the show (!!!) Not as a sentimental look back, but as a practical roadmap. Whether you're brand new and don't know where to start, or you've been here since episode one and could use a reminder of how much ground you've already covered, this episode is your guide.

We revisit the identity episodes that hit differently (episodes 5, 11, 12, and 19), the dating episodes that cut through the noise without handing you a rulebook (episodes 3, 7, and 17), and the friendship episodes that consistently generate the most DMs — because friendship grief, friendship confusion, and friendship loneliness are real, and women deserve more language for all of it (episodes 6, 10, 23, and 25).

Shantel also shares exactly which episodes to go to depending on what you're navigating right now! Whether that's rebuilding after a hard season, questioning a relationship, feeling lonely in a way you can't quite explain, or just sensing that the version of you everyone expects has quietly become a bad fit.

--

want to book a coaching session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue

want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - [email protected]

have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority

💘

SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority

INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/

TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority

YOUTUBE// https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority

subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘

youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO

spotify: https://spoti.fi/4iVPAhn

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💘

catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel

instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/

tiktok// https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau

Snapchat// https://snapchat.com/t/fb8LTRCm

youtube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline

OUTFITS - ShopMy// https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau

OUTFITS - LTK// https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau

💘

Looking for the foundations? Start with episode 33, How to Be More Interesting Part 1. BTW, consider this the definitive version of episode 033 (!!!) also, I kept saying episode 054, lol sorry! This is episode 055!

Most of us are living interesting lives and telling them in the most boring way possible. Part two of one of The Sage Sorority's most popular episodes ever is finally here, and this one is about expression. How do you take everything you've built internally and actually let it land in conversation, on a date, in a work meeting, at a dinner party?

In this episode, Shantel breaks down the art of storytelling, what genuine curiosity actually looks like in practice, and the specific habits that make a woman truly magnetic in any room.

In this episode:

1. Why most women are living interesting lives but narrating them in an uninteresting way, and how to fix it
2. The anatomy of a good story: the "so what" test, the power of specificity, and the difference between recounting something and actually telling it
3. Matthew Dicks, record Moth StorySLAM champion and author of Storyworthy, and his philosophy of the five-second moment
4. Brené Brown on why specificity and imperfection are what make stories land, not polish
5. Curiosity as a competitive edge: why breadth beats performance and how to find your genuine pocket of depth
6. The science of presence: why full, unhurried attention is one of the most magnetic things a woman can offer in 2026
7. What interesting women don't do: overexplaining, one-upping, performing curiosity, shrinking opinions to seem agreeable
8. Why mystery is criminally underrated in the era of "spend the day with me" content

ICYMI: EPISODE 032 - how to be more interesting, pt.1 (https://open.spotify.com/episode/3IETywtviU47Hx0TfIi0t6?si=8X3KEMldT4Wae50UM_p5Uw)

Storyworthy: Engage, Teach, Persuade, and Change Your Life through the Power of Storytelling - https://go.shopmy.us/p-44654010

Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People - https://go.shopmy.us/p-44654099

The Power of Vulnerability | Brené Brown - https://youtu.be/iCvmsMzlF7o?si=2qzjpZVrF4dekH_F

Vanessa Van Edwards (Science of People) | TED - https://www.scienceofpeople.com/ted/

Julian Treasure (How to speak so that people want to listen) | TED - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIho2S0ZahI

--

want to book a coaching session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue

want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - [email protected]

have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority

💘

SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority

INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/

TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority

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subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘

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THE SAGE SORORITY PODCAST - https://feeds.captivate.fm/thesagesorority/

💘

catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel

instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/

tiktok// https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau

Snapchat// https://snapchat.com/t/fb8LTRCm

youtube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline

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💘

A few weeks ago I was at a workshop and someone gave me the most annoyingly simple piece of advice I'd ever heard. I asked a published author and paid speaker how to become a published author and paid speaker. She said: speak and write. That's it.

I laughed, because I knew she was right. And because I'd been doing both for ten years and still waiting for someone to make it official.

This episode is about the version of yourself you keep putting off. The woman you're waiting to become when you're thinner, more ready, more settled, more certain. She's not coming to rescue you, because you're already her. You just have to decide to be.

We get into the difference between performance and embodiment, why fake it till you make it gets a much worse reputation than it deserves, how the words we speak to ourselves become the house we live in, and four practical ways to actually stop waiting and start claiming. Oh, and it's the Year of the Fire Horse. This is the year to run.

--

want to book a coaching session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue

want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - [email protected]

have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority

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SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority

INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/

TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority

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subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘

youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO

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apple: https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2

THE SAGE SORORITY PODCAST - https://feeds.captivate.fm/thesagesorority/

💘

catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel

instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/

tiktok// https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau

youtube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline

OUTFITS - ShopMy// https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau

OUTFITS - LTK// https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau

💘

———

Join us IRL: The Gathering — Wine, Women & Conversation Thursday, March 5th | 6pm | London 🎟️ [https://luma.com/w6fxpy9w]

One year of The Sage Sorority (!!!) 🤍 In this episode, we're unpacking the "high standards" discourse - when your standards are protecting you, and when they might actually be fear in disguise. We're talking attraction, compatibility, capacity, and the questions you need to ask yourself before you write someone off.

In this episode:

1. The difference between protecting your peace and controlling outcomes
2. Why attachment styles can masquerade as "standards"
3. 5 questions to ask yourself when evaluating someone (or your own patterns)
4. The one question that changes everything

Mentioned:

1. The All-or-Nothing Marriage by Eli Finkel
2. Attached by Amir Levine
3. Episode 041: Attraction vs Compatibility vs Capacity

--

want to book a coaching session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue

want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - [email protected]

have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority

💘

SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority

INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/

TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority

YOUTUBE// https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority

subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘

youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO

spotify: https://spoti.fi/4iVPAhn

apple: https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2

💘

catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel

instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/

tiktok// https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau

youtube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline

OUTFITS - ShopMy// https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau

OUTFITS - LTK// https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau

💘

———

We use "jealousy" as a catch-all for anything that feels gross and competitive. But envy and jealousy are actually two completely different experiences. One is giving you useful information about what you want. The other? That's fear wearing a really convincing disguise. Today we're unpacking both, how they show up in friendships (the part nobody talks about), and what to actually do when you feel them.

In This Episode:

→ The actual difference between envy and jealousy (and why language matters)

→ Envy is information. Jealousy is protection.

→ How both show up in friendships: promotions, new friends, weddings, glow ups

→ The Cool Girl monologue and friendship performance

→ Amadeus, Othello, Gone Girl

→ What social media has done to both emotions

→ What to do when you feel either one

Referenced Episodes:

Episode 49: The Only Dating Advice You Need Episode 45: 3 Patterns I'm Noticing in Women's Dating & Friendships Right Now Episode 25: The Friendship Audit

want to book a coaching session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue

want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - [email protected]

have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority

💘

SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority

INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/

TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority

YOUTUBE// https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority

subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘

youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO

spotify: https://spoti.fi/4iVPAhn

apple: https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2

💘

catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel

instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/

tiktok// https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau

youtube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline

OUTFITS - ShopMy// https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau

OUTFITS - LTK// https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau

💘

———

Keywords/Tags:

envy vs jealousy, difference between envy and jealousy, friendship jealousy, jealousy in friendships, green eyed monster, cool girl monologue, gone girl, female friendships, women in their 30s, modern womanhood, social media comparison

You've been doing everything right—the apps, the events, saying yes to every invite—and you're exhausted. What if the advice to "put yourself out there" is actually making things worse?

This week we're talking about the difference between being available and being magnetic, why effort and outcome aren't always correlated in relationships, and when strategic retreat might be the smarter move for your dating life and your friendships.

We're also covering: when you actually should be putting yourself out there, how to know if you're strategically retreating or just avoiding, and what it looks like to let yourself be found instead of constantly seeking.

In this episode:

1. Why "putting yourself out there" has become a moral imperative (and why that's a problem)
2. The difference between depletion disguised as action and genuine effort
3. How to know when you're performing availability instead of cultivating magnetism
4. A permission slip to pause the apps, the coffee dates, and the networking events
5. What it means to exist fully in your actual life

--

want to book a coaching session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue

want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - [email protected]

have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority

💘

SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority

INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/

TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority

YOUTUBE// https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority

subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘

youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO

spotify: https://spoti.fi/4iVPAhn

apple: https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2

THE SAGE SORORITY PODCAST - https://feeds.captivate.fm/thesagesorority/

💘

catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel

instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/

tiktok// https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau

youtube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline

OUTFITS - ShopMy// https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau

OUTFITS - LTK// https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau

💘