“My partner says I’m using my ADHD as an excuse. They’re not really understanding ADHD at all or how it affects me!”  You shared your relationship struggles and you’re not the only one! Today’s guest, Melissa Orlov, answers YOUR questions from my free Facebook group. We discuss ADHD as an excuse, partners who don’t understand ADHD, communication obstacles between ADHD partners and non-ADHD partners.  We also dive into guilt, shame, trust, coping with RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) when it feels like your partner is constantly criticizing you, how all of this affects intimacy, and life after divorce. Melissa is the founder of ADHDmarriage.com and works with couples impacted by ADHD.  There’s hope for your relationship, too, mama.  Let’s dive into your questions! Links mentioned in this episode : Melissa’s recent read: Barbara Kingsolver's Poisonwood Bible Melissa’s Blog post:  https://www.adhdmarriage.com/content/maybe-just-maybe-adhd-excuse-act-heartless-jerk How to connect with Melissa:  Her website: http://www.ADHDmarriage.com Her instagram:  @adhd_marriage Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here:  https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-202-Same-Fight-Again-how-to-Improve-Romantic-Relationship-when-Impacted-by-ADHD-with-Melissa Orlov  Stop Medusa Mom in her tracks with these 10 tips to calm down before you lose your cool! Watch (or read) the free video here: https://www.patriciasung.com/calm

E202: The Same Fight Again: How to Improve Your Romantic Relationship When it's Impacted by ADHD with Melissa Orlov

Productivity, Parenting, and Education for Moms with Adult ADHD

Are you overwhelmed by the never-ending to do list of motherhood? Are you burnt out and barely keeping your head above water? Are you confused and frustrated by how all the other moms make it look so easy? And somehow you're still floundering despite trying even harder... 

Your purse is as overflowing as your mind, you never feel like a good enough mom, and you don't dare have anyone over to visit to witness your messy home. You just want the best for your kids, but you can't figure out how to manage the chaos, both in your mind and in your house.

Oh, I've been there, mama. Some days, I'm still there. Parenting with ADHD is hard! 

We want to be structured for our kids, yet we can't seem to stay consistent even for ourselves. But I'm letting go of everyone else's perception of a "good mom" and stepping into loving who I am a little more each day.  Will you join me?

Whether you have ADHD like I do, or think you might, here is your permission slip to let go of the pinterest worthy visions of organization and structure fit for everyone else. Let's do life like our brains do life: creatively, lovingly, and with all your might. Moms with ADHD have a superpower of always trying their best, even when it doesn't pan out. 

How do I know? I have known about my ADD for over twenty years, and I want to share all of this hard-earned ADHD knowledge with you, making your adjustment a lot easier and faster than mine was. 

What does Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder look like in women? We'll dive into emotional regulation, motivation, executive function, hormones, medication, and natural treatments. Women with ADHD share their diagnosis stories with us, whether inattentive, hyperactive or combined, from childhood through adult diagnoses. We also talk about ADHD's so-called friends like depression, anxiety, addiction, disordered eating, other learning differences, and what I've learned through therapy and CBT.  

Science is my jam and learning about how our brains work through the lens of scientific research helps us understand who we are. ADHD is not just for little boys; it looks different in girls. 

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is a neurological medical condition, not an excuse for lazy, stupid, unmotivated people to not live up to our potential. Let's agree to throw that thought in the trash.

Once we understand how our brains work, we can dive into the practical strategies like structuring our day, minimalism, money, nurturing our relationships, daily rhythms, using a planner, and improving our sleep. I want to help you build your version of a joyful family life.

We talk about everything from ADHD to Zebras, because that is how Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder works: to us, our thoughts are clearly connected, but non-linear to everyone else. I want you to love being a zebra in a world full of horses. We were born as unique, gorgeous creatures, not meant to blend in with the usual nor mundane. 

When we embrace who we are and how our brains work, we can figure out how to live out lives successfully and in turn, lead our families well.

At the end of the day, we just want to be good moms.  Spoiler alert: you are already a great mom. 

If you're ready to see that with your own two eyes, hit play and listen in as we love ourselves a little more each day of our ADHD lives. ADHD does NOT mean you're doomed to be a hot mess, mama! 

You CAN rewrite your story from shame spiral to success story, and I'll be right here beside you to cheer you on!

With love, Patricia Sung, a fellow mama with ADHD

Free Resources and Transcriptions at: motherhoodinadhd.com

Connect with Patricia Sung on Instagram: www.instagram.com/motherhoodinadhd

Join like-minded mamas in our Motherhood in ADHD Facebook community:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/motherhoodinadhd

Sign up for community, courses, coaching, and learn about ADHD: www.patriciasung.com

Kids & Family

Parenting

Health & Fitness

Mental Health

We all know someone who has an emotionally immature parent.  The one who lays on guilt trips. The one who never shows up. The one who struggles with demons bigger than their kids. Maybe it’s you.   Maybe it’s your neighbor or your best friend. As a mom, it hits different.  You see the pain, the nuance, the struggle a little more clearly. And yet you still can’t fix the other person. But you can make changes in your life and for your own children. Today, I’m not holding back from the tough conversation of emotionally immature parenting and breaking the cycles of brokenness in your family.  I want you to know wholeheartedly that when you’re taking care of yourself, you ARE caring for your family, too. Self-care is the opposite of selfishness. By learning how to take care of yourself, you can teach your kids those same invaluable skills.  Listen to this week’s episode and let’s do the hard work of breaking and rebuilding cycles together. Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-223-building-a-stronger-healthier-adhd-family-for-generations Current parenting workshop series: Your Gifted Child! A donate-what-you-can fundraiser for my kid’s school. Register at patriciasung.com/gt

E223: Building a Stronger, Healthier Family for Generations

What “should” you have done already?   Finish your degree?  Pass your driver’s license test?  Make that doctor’s appt?  Left the house for school pickup? If you’re constantly thinking “I’m behind!”, this episode is for you.   Often it’s literal, as in, “I’m 20 minutes late to my appointment!” But it’s also in the big things, like you “should” have more kids by now or gotten that promotion.  You’re not alone! Feeling behind has come up in several discussions recently both in my Lighthouse Group ADHD Coaching, and in Successful Mama Meetups. What are the patterns showing up in this pervasive problem among women with ADHD? Here’s how to move forward both logistically and mentally. It’s time to take care of you, mama: A whole weekend for you to relax and get away from all your weighty responsibilities, to understand your ADHD mind in community with moms who get it. Drop your name on the waitlist for the 3rd annual ADHD Moms Weekend Retreat in October 2024, and I’ll take care of everything once you arrive!   Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-222-4-reasons-why-you-feel-behind

E222: Constantly Feel Like You’re Behind? 4 Reasons Why

Do you ever feel like an emotional sponge, absorbing the feelings of others around you? Especially when you’re with someone you care about? Especially when you’re in certain parts of your cycle? Extra especially when they are agitated, frustrated, angry, or anxious? In this episode, we dive deep into understanding emotional regulation, stress management, and the unique challenges faced by moms with ADHD. From absorbing everyone else's emotions to navigating the stress ladder, we'll explore the struggles and I’ll offer practical strategies for finding balance and grace in the midst of the storm.  You CAN learn to hear your own signals and trust them, as well as build your stress tolerance to help you regulate during the day, in spite of the rest of your and your family’s stressors! And once you know how, you can teach your kids how to increase their stress tolerance, too.   Stop Medusa Mom in her tracks with these 10 tips to calm down before you lose your cool! Watch (or read) the free video here: https://www.patriciasung.com/medusa-mom.   Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-221-frustrated-easily-adult-adhd-meltdown-mood-swing

E221: Why Do I Get Frustrated So Easily? ADHD Meltdowns & Mood Swings in Adults

Sometimes you need a reminder that it’s okay to spend a little money on yourself, especially when the guilt of the last 3 wasteful impulse buys are still weighing on you. In this episode of Motherhood in ADHD, we're diving headfirst into why self-care is NOT selfish. I want you to know that putting yourself on the budget’s priority list is worth it - without guilt creeping in and talking yourself out of it before you ever get that much deserved break. Often that guilt (or fear of something else) also prevents you from bringing up the topic of money with your partner.  I’ll cover how you can prepare for a money conversation with your partner and set the stage so it’s as smooth as possible.  If even thinking about money conversations or putting yourself first gives you hives, this episode is a great first step toward ditching the guilt, as we dive into two uncomfortable conversations in today’s episode.   Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-220-spend-money-on-yourself-guilt-free-how-to-talk-to-your-spouse-husband-partner-about-the-budget     New workshop alert! Your Gifted Child: a 3 workshop series to help you understand your gifted child better, parent them well without losing your sanity, and learn the skills to help them be calm, well-rounded and successful. We'll talk about 2e, comorbidities, emotional regulation, and executive function skills.  Come to the live workshops OR listen to the private podcast version OR watch the replay.  In case you’re new around here, I'm a certified K-12 GT teacher and taught middle school for many years before becoming an ADHD Coach, so I’m using my years of experience teaching gifted & 2e kids to support my boys’ school GT program. It's donate-what-you-can admission! Sign up here: patriciasung.com/gt

E220: Spending Money on Yourself Guilt-free! Plus How to Talk to Your Partner about the Budget

Watching your child struggle is pretty much the worst. Not knowing what to do about it is more than icing on the doo-doo cake. I've got your back, mama! In this episode of Motherhood in ADHD, I dive into the rollercoaster of emotions and challenges of parenting a struggling child. When your child needs help, but you don’t know where to begin, this episode is for you. From dealing with overwhelming chaos to understanding the unique dynamics in a family affected by ADHD, here are my key tips to help you navigate the stress. So, buckle up, mama, because we're about to unpack the struggle bus and turn it into the ambulance you need for support during a crisis. In this episode, I’m sharing the five essential C's for helping your struggling child. First up, we zoom in on crisis management and understanding what’s on fire before taking action. Then, we delve into the critical aspect of self-care for moms because, let's be honest, we can't pour from an empty unicorn mug. We also explore caring for our kids, making sure they find their own spaces to shine and thrive. Plus, we emphasize the importance of building strong connections and boosting our kids' confidence, because every little victory matters. So, put on your driving gloves, grab a cup (or 40 oz travel mug) of coffee, and get ready to drive into a world of empathy, support, and practical advice on nurturing your struggling child. If you want to join us in person, we’re discussing parenting WITH ADHD in March & April in Successful Mama Meetups. Because among the chaos, you're already a fantastic mom who’s trying her best, and you're not alone in this bumpy journey. New workshop alert! Your Gifted Child: a 3 workshop series to help you understand your gifted child better, parent them well without losing your sanity, and learn the skills to help them be calm, well-rounded and successful. We'll talk about 2e, comorbidities, emotional regulation, and executive function skills.  Come to the live workshops OR listen to the private podcast version OR watch the replay.  In case you’re new around here, I'm a certified K-12 GT teacher and taught middle school for many years before becoming an ADHD Coach, so I’m using my years of experience teaching gifted & 2e kids to support my boys’ school GT program. It's donate-what-you-can admission! Sign up here: patriciasung.com/gt   Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-219-parenting-struggling-child-with-adhd-how-to-help-kid-in-crisis

E219: Parenting a Struggling Child with ADHD: Where to Start When Your Kid is in Crisis

Motherhood in ADHD – Parenting with ADHD, Productivity Tips, Brain based Science, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Education to Help Moms with Adult ADHD

E202: The Same Fight Again: How to Improve Your Romantic Relationship When it's Impacted by ADHD with Melissa Orlov

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