Balance & Beyond

The Scary Question: If I’m Not Useful, Who Am I?


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Ever noticed how your entire body tenses when asked to play or make a mess? Our recent Joy Challenge at the Balance Institute revealed a fascinating pattern: ambitious women often experience massive resistance to activities without tangible outcomes. The pushback was palpable - "Play? I don't have time!" or "Make a mess? I spend my life cleaning up messes!"

This resistance stems from a deep-rooted identity where our worth has become inextricably linked to productivity and achievement. From childhood, we've learned that value comes from doing, producing, and maintaining order. We've been conditioned to believe the narrative that if we're not being useful, we're not worthy of belonging. This creates a fascinating contrast between control and curiosity, where our white-knuckling grip on schedules and outcomes leaves no room for spontaneity, connection, or creative flow.

What's really happening underneath this resistance is fear - the primal fear that if we're not useful, we'll be excluded from the tribe, threatening our very survival. This podcast challenges you to intentionally do something without purpose - to make a mess, to play without outcome, to follow your intuition rather than your to-do list. As you begin stepping into this space of purposeless joy, watch what unlocks in your brain and life. Your nervous system will resist, but in that resistance lies the opportunity for true freedom and balance. What might happen if you put down control, even for just a moment, and embraced the beautiful mess of being human?

To view the Transcript from this week's episode, visit our Balance & Beyond Podcast webpage: https://www.balanceinstitute.com/podcast/2025/106

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The Balance & Beyond Podcast Hosted by Jo Stone, founder of The Balance Institute

For women who are already succeeding, but beginning to wonder if they're willing to keep losing themselves in the process.

We know high achievers, because we are one. This podcast draws on Jo's 20 years in global leadership and thousands of hours coaching executives and ambitious women: the patterns she sees, how to untangle them, and what it actually takes to keep your success without paying for it with yourself.

If something landed today, there's more where that came from.

And if you know a woman this would resonate with, send it her way.

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Balance & BeyondBy Jo Stone