The School Run

A more chilled-out episode, where we chat about all things Christmas...

- Christmas Traditions

- Our plans over Christmas

- Crimbo Limbo

- Playing sport over Christmas vs watching it.

 

Then some hard-hitting topics in the New Year...

 

Merry Christmas everyone!

Kate is back from Dubai, and what better topic to talk about than travelling?

Kate talks about her experiences taking little Beau to Dubai with her and Oscar and what an eye-opener this was...

We also talk about:

Family holidays as a kid

School fines for parents taking their children out of school in term time

Wow experiences for children

The attention children get when on holiday

Siobhan and my travelling experiences of going away for nearly a year

Our views on travelling with our children and how important this is

Creating memories and experiences. 

I hope you enjoy today's episode.

See you on next week's episode where we will be talking about Christmas and FUN!!

Why did we host our very first awards 'Inspired Awards Dinner'?

In 2015, when the business started taking shape, in it’s 3rd year, I wrote out some goals!

One was to give back to Bridgwater and another was to inspire children and families to be more active

Transpire and Manifest

My own childhood was filled with opportunities at home and my primary and secondary schools.  I was so fortunate

I think children have fewer opportunities to be active and we see that as our job, to fill this gap and provide as many opportunities for young people to be active and moreover make these opportunities FREE.

And that is why we decided to host an awards dinner.

To celebrate all things PE, sport and physical activity

There are so many wonderful things that are happening, and unsung heroes that are going unnoticed to provide opportunities to young people.

We know the power that it can have, learning about success and failure, friendships, role models, mental well-being, physical health and so much more.

Here to celebrate those people, schools and clubs and raise the profile of sport and PE.

I also talk about our business values, plus my personal values as a parent, reflecting on the England football and cricket teams.

 

Enjoy...

Why are girls dropping out of Sport?

 

Who better to talk about this than Kate!  Someone that has been faced by pretty much every barrier imaginable. We talk about a range of topics, some that I am certainly not qualified to talk about, but am fascinated to learn more on, so I can be the best Dad possible.

 

A BBC article, only last week saying that the total number of girls who stopped playing sport entirely went up from last year.

 

With one in four girls feeling unconfident to play sport in primary school, and this figure rises to one in three by the time they get to secondary school.

 

One of the main reasons they said they stopped playing sport is that they they don't feel welcome in a male environment.

 

Elsa said: "I tried to join a football team but it was all boys and me and when we actually played, no one passed to me."

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/63553277

 

What can we do to address this and ensure that more girls can find a sport or physical activity that they love?

This episode is all about failure.

 

If you put failure into google it will come back with quotes from inspirational people about how important failure is.  But we dive into the complexities around failure and how we both agree that yes, it is important, but there are other factors to consider, creating a positive environment, how we can plan for failure and a quote that I found when researching the podcast from Gary Vaynerchuck about micro failure vs macro success, which I love and what this means for us as parents, coaches and teachers.

 

“I’d argue that I didn’t really fail, I learned I might have micro failed, but I macro won” - Gary Vaynerchuck

 

“I can accept failure, but I can’t accept not trying again” - Michael Jordan

 

When in search of a great quote, Michael Jordan is my go-to!

 

During this episode, we give our take on failure and how we can use failure in parenting, teaching and coaching to help make our children resilient, and patient and have the personal characteristic to use failure as a building block to success and reaching their potential.

I think you'll all agree that Kate has been amazing on the podcast.  I love speaking to her about the topics discussed so far and this week we go into:

Nature vs Nurture

We discuss the role of hard work vs natural talent. Is one more important than the other?  

What else is important when our children are growing up?  Should we praise more than just the outcome, so that values such as work ethic as instilled in the children in our care?  

We also talk about Matthew Syed's book 'Bounce', Malcolm Gladwell's quote around 10,000 hours and my hero growing up, Michale Jorda, and his attitude to failure.

We put all of this into the context of parenting, teaching and coaching and we hope you enjoy listening as much as we did recording.

I am delighted to welcome a special guest and co-shot to the podcast - Kate Alder

Kate was on the only the 3rd episode ever of The School Run Podcast which was released in May 2021 

·      Since then Kate has become a mother to now 9 months old Beau and started a recruitment company at the height of the pandemic!

·      I can’t wait for you to hear all about how she is managing everything as we explore work-like balance, running businesses and being a parent.

We explore:

- What are your values and what is most important to you?

- Me failing to juggle school correspondence!

- Kate's incredible work ethic and getting back into rugby

- Kate launched a new business and then found out she was pregnant!

- Being the best version of yourself

- Being open and honest with your partner so they understand what you need and want and vice versa.

And lot's more.  

I hope you love the new format as much as I did and I look forward to welcoming to next week's episode 😊

When should your child be allowed a phone?

 

Do what is right for your children. Not you, to make your life easier!

 

Children are drawn in by trying to do things before they are supposed to. Drinking, smoking etc

 

Or because all their friends have a phone.

 

There doesn’t seem to be a right answer, but there are definitely wrong answers.

 

What were the concerns for our parents? Drinking, smoking, 

 

I’m not a worrier by nature, I’m pretty laid back as a parent, but the digital world scares me. 

 

Why? 

Innaproriate use of social media, the internet

Not having ‘real models’ as I spoke about last week

13 for social media.

Roblox is the most popular online computer game in the UK for under-13s, according to a recent survey.

It's free to use and it's a platform that lets you play millions of different games, or you can build your own game and let other people play it.

It's played by more than 25 million children worldwide and many schools and institutions use it to teach children how to build games online.

But I've been looking into a worrying rise in the number of children finding upsetting and harmful content on the site.

I was playing Roblox and I was on a game where you work at a pizza place and two people were pressuring girls to do inappropriate stuff with them and if they did, they would get extra money in the game.

Girl aged 14

7+ is the age limit.

Then you have Fortnight - 13+ as well.  But the children in Primaries when it came out all knew the dances! 

TikTok algorithm.

The notice sets out the ICO's provisional view that TikTok breached UK data protection law between May 2018 and July 2020.

The ICO investigation found the social platform may have:

processed the data of children under the age of 13 without appropriate parental consent

failed to provide proper information to its users in a concise, transparent and easily understood way

processed special category data, without legal grounds to do so

According to Ofcom, 44% of eight to 12-year-olds in the UK use TikTok, despite its policies forbidding under-13s on the platform.

YouTube - Learning how to draw on YouTube

Parental controls

Give them a phone without the internet.  Izzy is going to be disappointed when she gets her first one, when she’s 18! 

The Social Dilemma

The documentary examines how social media's design nurtures addiction to maximize profit and its ability to manipulate people's views, emotions, and behavior and spread conspiracy theories and disinformation.

So social media is a big concern of mine. But also communicating with other children.

What’s app and communicating with their friends.  - what’s app legal age requirement if 16!

Pressure on parents

By the time kids are in middle school, the pressure from kids can be intense, and parents worry that their child will feel isolated if other kids have phones and they don’t. According to Common Sense Media, 42 percent of kids have a phone by age 10. By age 12, it’s 71 percent. By 14, it’s 91 percent.

And so when should your child get the first phone?

At what age should a kid get their first phone?

Return to menu

Anywhere from 10 to 14, though there are valid reasons to give a child a phone earlier (they commute alone, or switch between two parents’ houses) or later (they’re not mature enough, have shown previous problems with tech overuse). There is not one magic age for every child, but we’ll help you find the sweet spot for your own family. Ultimately, the decision is up to the parent or guardian, who knows the child and their own child-rearing philosophy best.

Mental Health crisis - children using phones in their bedrooms.  Can’t switch off.  Keeping up to date with the latest TikTok, or social media platform

“If we are in a mental health crisis – which we are – and we have some factors that are really hard to change, like our educational system, and some factors that are really technically easy to change, like an algorithm or code, we should,” Radesky told me. “We should work with the tec

What is technology doing to our children?

Real models vs role models

We need real models…

What does real model vs role model mean? 

Alex Scott said after the Lionesses won the Euros, they are real models and not role models.

You can’t be what you can’t see

More women in the media, particularly thinking of sport. Alex Scott

Alex Hartley 

Isha Gua

Laura Woods

Denise Lewis

I’m ashamed to say that I googled this, to see who was broadcasting and who I’d missed, and the third result that came up was ‘the hottest 15 female broadcasters! Shocking!

Perhaps this speaks to the point that Alex Scott is talking to, as a father of two girls, I want them to have real models, women that are pioneers and breaking down barriers for participation and also careers in previously a male-dominated industry.

This leads me to social media and technology.  What is it doing to our children?

Let’s start with social media as it links to ‘real models’.  Is it real?  You look at some of the people that have the biggest followings, the Kardashians.  Are they real, definitely not, so why do they get such a following?  I think this is really toxic.  We can get so wrapped up how we look, filters on social media being used so much that people are blurring into the background and what is this teaching children? Anything positive? Further to this young people injecting botox into their faces so they ‘look better', this cannot be healthy.

Equally, if you are watching Love Island, but wouldn’t want your children going on the show, then you have to question yourself surely.  You are funding the programme, you are endorsing that careers exist following the programme.  

Is this damaging the work ethic of society?  Children and young people see people making a living off of doing perceived little work and think that earning £20,000 a year is beneath them because of someone from love island making 6 figures through their endorsements…  Where are the grafters?  Are we in danger of people wanting everything now?  

I want more money in my job…

Ok, great, how are you going to bring more value into the business?

Recruitment is so hard now, we used to get 50 applicants for a job, interview 8 and then recruit accordingly.  We learned some big lessons on what type of people we were looking for… Will vs Neil.  Sam A.

Now - 8 applicants, none of which want to be interviewed or watched deliver a lesson!

Back to social media…  And linking it last week’s episode about praising winning too much, we aren’t building personal skills that will make a difference to children growing up.  Depression, anxiety and mental ilnesses are at an all time high!  We are able to connect with more people than every before through the internet, but we are lonelier than we have ever been before.

Whilst I am on almost all social media, I do think it is a dangerous place if it isn’t used safely and properly.  I don’t want the girls thinking that Kim Kardishian is a brilliant role, I want to look at Alex Scott, listen to her journey and be inspired by her drive and work ethic to get to where she is today, plus she is an Arsenal legend!

 

Further to this, social media isn’t going anywhere and so it is pointless to ignore it.  Creators now have a vehicle to make an income without having to be signed by a management company, studio, music label etc.  So more people have an opportunity to ‘make a career’ from this than ever before and I have now heard on two podcasts this week, one with Fearne Cotton and another with Richard Osman about how they approach devices and tech with their children.  Richard Osman actually saying that he is ok with his son gaming for large period of time, because if the active interest he shows on the stuff that happens behind the scenes to create a game and that he as a child, was fascinated by TV and he would spend hours watching it, but was always interested in the credits and finding out about what jobs there are in TV.  The same now with his son potentially finding a c

What values should be promote in our children?

This is the main theme of the episode and below you will see some of the topics that I will cover

The education system is too heavy on data

PE is underavalued.

My many hats as a governor, parent, business owner, former secondary school PE teacher

Winning vs Losing

Medals for participation. My thoughts on this

Should we celebrate winning?

Steven Biddulph raising girls

Other values.  Work ethic, kindness, empathy, resilience 

Resilience vs winning. 

What happens when it’s time to get a job or start a business or try to be a professional sportsperson

Parents evening at secondary - They would rather listen to Brad the coach with his team winning 7-0 every week!

What happened when our school team started to lose?

English and Maths aren’t everything.  

Maths isn’t for everyone.

I actually did well at school, not amazing, some A’s, B’s, couple of C’s and an A* for PE!

The main reasons behind where I am now?  Work ethic and resilience!  

Summary.

Take a look at all my socials:

- https://www.tiktok.com/@benkirk1984- https://www.linkedin.com/in/ben-kirk-08448848/- https://www.instagram.com/benkirk8/