The Enlightened Family Business Podcast

Ep. 150 - Fragile Power: Wealth, Identity, and Mental Health

with Dr. Paul Hokemeyer

In this episode of the Enlightened Family Business Podcast, host Chris Yonker talks with Dr. Paul Hokemeyer, an expert in family business governance and mental health, about the complexities of wealth and psychological well-being. They delve into how societal perceptions of wealth impact individuals and families, leading to feelings of isolation, mistrust, and hyper-agency. Dr. Hokemeyer shares his journey from law to clinical psychology and discusses the importance of cultural competency in behavioral healthcare for high-net-worth individuals. Key topics include the challenges of managing narcissistic personalities within family systems, the necessity of setting enforceable boundaries, and the role of external support in fostering healthier family dynamics.

· 01:54 Introducing Dr. Paul Hokemeyer

· 04:50 Dr. Paul's Journey and Career Path

· 07:14 Challenges Faced by Wealthy Individuals

· 13:41 The Intersection of Wealth and Identity

· 22:48 Therapeutic Approaches and Observations

· 30:32 Hierarchies and Tribes in Human Society

· 31:13 Isolation and Wealth

· 35:31 Understanding and Treating Wealthy Patients

· 39:20 Narcissism in Family Systems

· 44:31 Dealing with Narcissistic Family Members

· 49:58 The Role of External Support Systems

Websites:

· fambizforum.com.

· www.chrisyonker.com

· draysonmews.com

· Instagram @dr_paul_hokemeyer

Dr. Paul Bio:

Dr. Paul Hokemeyer (J.D., Ph.D.) believes mental health matters for everyone, everywhere.

He is the founding principal of Drayson Mews and author of Fragile Power: Why Having Everything is Never Enough (Hazelden, 2019) and Fragile Power 2.0: Wealth, Narcissism & Mental Health (2024), the leading resources for individuals, couples, and families of wealth seeking culturally respectful and clinically effective mental health services. In addition, Dr. Paul serves as the Senior Wellness Expert to Ispahani Advisory, a London-based consulting firm specializing in multijurisdictional, ultra-high-net-worth families. He is an Associate Member of the American Association for Addiction Medicine and holds a Clinical Fellow designation with the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy where he received the 2025 award for Media Excellence.

Prior to graduating from the Harvard Medical School's Global Leaders in Healthcare program, Dr. Paul studied the use of digital technologies at the Yale School of Management.

In addition to his academic and clinical work, Dr. Paul has extensive experience in the realm of philanthropy. He has stewarded over three million U.S. dollars to enhance the delivery of direct mental health services to disenfranchised communities across America, as well as through the Yale School of Public Health. Additionally, he serves as a trustee of the Palm Springs Art Museum, one of the world's premier centers for mid-century art, architecture, and design.

Dr. Paul's research in the realm of wealth and mental health has been peer-reviewed and published in the Journal of Wealth Management, the International Family Offices Journal, Globe Law and Business, and Lambert Academic Press. His work has been featured in a wide variety of international media outlets including The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The World Economic Forum, the Johns Hopkins Newsletter, Harvard Business Review Arabia, CNN, Men's Health, The Guardian, Tatler (where he was selected as one of the world's top 'problem solvers'), the Campden Club, the Institute of Private Investors, WebMD, Psych Central and others. He is on the editorial board of Middle East Business News and Magazine, a leading resource for family businesses and entrepreneurs in the MENA region.

The Enlightened Family Business Podcast

Ep. 149. When Families face Echoes of the Past with Steve Legler

In this episode of the Enlightened Family Business Podcast, host Chris Yonker is joined by Steven Legler, an experienced family business advisor. Together, they delve into the complexities of family business dynamics, focusing on the impact of past events such as divorces, lawsuits, and separations on current relationships and decision-making processes. Chris and Steven discuss the essential components for creating sustainable continuity, including clear communication, inner awareness, family alignment, and evolving governance. They emphasize the necessity of addressing deep-rooted issues through awareness and professional guidance, highlighting the importance of conflict management, personal development, and the role of external advisors in facilitating effective family meetings. The episode serves as a comprehensive guide for families looking to build a cohesive and thriving multi-generational business.

· 02:44 The Importance of Awareness in Family Systems

· 05:07 Steven Legler's Background and Expertise

· 08:46 Echoes of the Past: Family Blowups and Their Impact

· 10:33 Identifying and Addressing Family System Symptoms

· 18:50 The Role of Advisors in Family Dynamics

· 22:06 Building Family Councils for Future Decision Making

· 25:42 Creating Awareness and Addressing Artificial Harmony

· 32:22 Handling Addiction in Families

· 39:01 Creating Safe Spaces for Dialogue

· 41:07 Challenges in Family Meetings

· 42:27 Generational Trauma and Stress

Websites:

· fambizforum.com.

· www.chrisyonker.com

· stevelegler.com

The Enlightened Family Business Podcast

Ep. 148: Managing Stress and Anxiety for Optimal Performance

with Elle Ingalls

In this episode of the Enlightened Family Business Podcast, host Chris Yonker sits down with Performance Coach and stress expert Elle Ingalls. They discuss strategies for handling stress responses, especially in high-pressure situations. Elle shares her journey from a symphonic conductor to a coach for athletes and executives, highlighting techniques to interrupt stress and improve performance. The conversation covers the biological aspects of stress, misconceptions about dealing with stress, and practical exercises to stay calm and focused. By exploring how to create a supportive environment and maintain inner awareness, this episode offers valuable insights for anyone looking to perform their best in both personal and professional realms.

· 01:28 Meet Elle Ingalls: From Music to Mental Toughness

· 03:39 The Birth of a Coaching Journey

· 08:49 The Science Behind Stress and Performance

· 16:08 Addressing Anxiety in Today's World

· 24:23 Debunking Myths About Stress

· 27:26 Personal Breakthrough and Client Success Stories

· 28:18 Understanding the Stress Response

· 29:00 Individual Reactions to Stress

· 30:33 Self-Awareness and Stress Management

· 35:13 Practical Techniques for Reducing Anxiety

· 43:00 The Role of Conductors and Musicians

· 48:37 The Impact of Stress on Health and Longevity

Websites:

· fambizforum.com.

· www.chrisyonker.com

· elleingalls.com

Elle's Books:

• The Pressure-Free CEO
• Pressure-Free Parenting

Elle Ingalls Bio:

Elle Ingalls is the author of Pressure-Free Parenting and The Pressure-Free CEO. She's the creator of The Pressure-Free Method, a revolutionary performance method designed to help high-achieving individuals from CEOs to students to break free from stress and unlock their full potential. With a unique blend of expertise as a performance coach, executive, college athlete, and professional musician, Elle developed this method to stop the fight-or-flight stress response before it starts, enabling sharper decision-making, increased resilience, and greater success without burnout.

People turn to Elle when the pressure is high and the stakes are higher. Her method offers practical, science-based tools to navigate intense demands while maintaining clarity, confidence, and health. Whether you're leading an organization or team, feeling the pressures of performance at work or school, or have challenges with your health or relationships, Elle empowers you to rise above stress, boost productivity, and thrive in both business and life—pressure-free.

The Enlightened Family Business Podcast

Ep. 147: The Inner Work of Leadership in a Family Business

with Kevin Hancock

In this episode of the Enlightened Family Business Podcast, host Chris Yonker interviews Kevin Hancock, Chair of Hancock Lumber, about his journey and transformation in leadership. Kevin shares his personal and professional challenges, including losing his father to cancer, navigating a significant economic recession, and coping with a rare voice disorder. Kevin's experiences led him to initiate major cultural changes at Hancock Lumber, focusing on putting employees first and fostering authentic, meaningful work environments. He also discusses his connection with the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation, where he found inspiration and a new perspective on leadership and the human experience. The episode delves into themes of self-discovery, healing, family business governance, and preparing future generations to lead with heart and authenticity.

· 00:54 Meet Kevin Hancock: A Legacy of Resilience

· 03:42 Navigating Personal and Professional Challenges

· 13:36 The 2008 Economic Crisis and Its Impact

· 18:58 A Journey of Self-Discovery and Healing

· 27:25 Finding Purpose at Pine Ridge

· 32:22 The Emotional Draw to Pine Ridge

· 36:25 The Power of Presence and Authenticity

· 40:21 The Impact of Prioritizing Employee Experience

· 50:47 The Role of Ownership and Family Legacy

· 59:24 The Importance of Inner Work and Self-Discovery

Websites:

· fambizforum.com.

· www.chrisyonker.com

· hancocklumber.com

· doortwo.com

Kevin's Books

• Not For Sale: Finding Center in the Land of Crazy Horse
• The Seventh Power: One CEO's Journey into the Business of Shared Leadership
• 48 Whispers from Pine Ridge and the Northern Plains

Kevin's Bio:

KEVIN HANCOCK is the Executive Chairman of one of America's oldest family businesses as well as an award-winning author and nationally recognized public speaker.

Established in 1848, Hancock Lumber Company is led by its 720 employees operating 12 lumberyards, 3 sawmills, a truss manufacturing facility, and timberlands in Maine, New Hampshire, and Massachusetts. Since 2014, Hancock Lumber has been recognized with the 'Best Places to Work in Maine' award. The company is also a recipient of the Maine Family Business of the Year Award, the Governor's Award for Business Excellence, the ProSales National Dealer of the Year Award, and the Maine Retailer of the Year Award.

Kevin is a past chairman of the Northeastern Retail Lumber Association, the National Lumber & Building Material Dealers Association, and the Bridgton Academy Board of Trustees. Kevin has also served of the Board of Directors for the Hussey Seating Corporation in Maine, the Seneca Sawmill Corporation in Oregon, and the Maine Indian Tribal State Commission.

Kevin is a recipient of the Ed Muskie 'Access to Justice' Award, the Habitat for Humanity 'Spirit of Humanity' Award, the Maine Development Foundation 'Ken Curtis Leadership Award', and the Maine Basketball Hall of Fame 'Directors Award'.

Kevin also partners with the executive coaching firm DoorTwo to provide senior management training programs around the concepts of shared leadership, dispersed power, and deep employee engagement.

Kevin is a frequent visitor to the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota and an advocate of strengthening the voices of all individuals—within a company or a community —through listening, empowering, and shared leadership. He is a graduate of Bowdoin College and lives in Maine with his wife Alison.

The Enlightened Family Business Podcast

Ep. 146: How Great Leaders Turn Challenges into Puzzles with Radhika Dutt

In this, the first episode of the Enlightened Family Business Podcast, host Chris Yonker engages with guest Radhika, a seasoned advisor and published author, to discuss transformative strategies for family businesses. They delve into the concept of replacing traditional goal setting with a 'puzzle setting and puzzle solving' approach, emphasizing curiosity, adaptability, and collaborative learning. The discussion explores how family businesses can navigate succession, integrate innovative thinking, and balance risk while fostering clear communication and family alignment. This episode offers valuable insights for family business owners and leaders seeking sustainable growth and harmonious leadership transition.

· 00:55 The Old Model of Goal Setting

· 01:49 Guest Introduction: Radhika's Background

· 06:37 The Puzzle Setting Approach

· 07:38 The Importance of Succession Planning

· 16:52 The Problems with KPIs and Target Setting

· 21:48 Shifting from Goals to Puzzles in Business

· 23:44 Implementing Puzzle Solving in Sales

· 28:02 Collaborative Learning and Curiosity

· 33:11 Navigating Family Business Transitions

· 38:54 Balancing Risk in Family Businesses

· 41:24 Learning from Other Industries

· 43:59 Conclusion and Resources

Websites:

· fambizforum.com.

· www.chrisyonker.com

· OHLS Toolkit

· linkedin: @radhika-dutt

Radhika's Bio:

Radhika Dutt is the author of Radical Product Thinking: The New Mindset for Innovating Smarter which has been translated into Chinese and Japanese. The methodology she introduced in her first book is now used in over 40 countries. She is an entrepreneur, speaker, and product leader who has participated in five acquisitions, two of which were companies that she founded. She is currently Advisor on Product Thinking to the Monetary Authority of Singapore (Singapore's central bank and financial regulator), and does consulting and training for organizations ranging from high-tech startups to multinationals on building radical products that create a fundamental change. Radhika has built products in a wide range of industries including broadcast, media and entertainment, telecom, advertising technology, government, consumer apps, robotics, and even wine. She graduated from MIT with an SB and M.Eng in Electrical Engineering, and speaks nine languages.

Radhika is now working on her second book – it's about why goals and targets backfire and what actually works.

Welcome to the Enlightened Family Business Podcast.

In this inaugural episode of the Enlightened Family Business Podcast, host Chris Yonker introduces his unique approach to family business advising. Shifting focus from traditional elements like structures and finances, Chris emphasizes the importance of communication, inner awareness, alignment, and adaptive governance to create lasting legacy and harmony. Drawing on his 15 years of experience, Chris shares insights into navigating critical transitions such as generational succession and cultural shifts. Listeners are invited to explore deeper strategies for thriving family enterprises and to join the conversation through free webinars and forums hosted on chrisyoker.com.

· 00:00 Introduction to the Enlightened Family Business Podcast

· 00:54 Purpose and Vision of the Podcast

· 01:04 Host's Background and Philosophy

· 01:35 Exploring Key Themes and Frameworks

· 01:58 Call to Action and Resources

Websites:

· fambizforum.com.

· www.chrisyonker.com

Secret Thoughts of CEOS Ep. 145

The ROI of Inner Work: Why Conscious Leaders Outperform

with Michael Brabant

In this episode of 'Secret Thoughts of CEOs and Business Leaders,' host Chris Yonker delves into a profound conversation with Dr. Michael Brabant, a PhD, who specializes in leadership and personal development. They explore the future of leadership, emphasizing the importance of vulnerability, authenticity, and psychological safety within organizations. Dr. Brabant shares his personal journey, discussing his work on integrating higher states of consciousness into leadership and recounting his path from academia to leading meditation retreats and coaching top executives. The discussion also covers the interplay between individual and collective growth, the significance of nervous system regulation, and the transformational potential when leaders model true openness and humility. This episode offers valuable insights for leaders looking to deepen their impact and foster a more connected and empowered workplace.

· 01:01 Exploring Leadership with Dr. Michael Brabant

· 02:38 Michael's Journey and Insights

· 07:46 The Importance of Vulnerability in Leadership

· 15:52 Navigating Family Systems and Truth

· 25:28 Codependency and Sovereignty in Leadership

· 31:33 Inner and Outer Leadership Dynamics

· 36:41 Emergent Leadership and Consciousness

· 44:11 The ROI of Inner Work for Leaders

· 48:46 Conclusion and Resources

Quotes

· " I think that in a world of AI and spoken wisdom that's not lived. People can try to close the gap of who they want to be and who they actually are by rhetoric and by tactics, and by complexity."[03:36]

· " Most people aren't vulnerable unless they have to be."[11:40]

· " And if my sparkler is lit because I'm lit, I have a lit relationship with my wife. I have a healthy relationship with my body. I'm connected spiritually. When I'm in my leadership role, I'm catalytic. I'm spiritually contagious, and it helps to light people's sparklers.' [45:04]

Websites:

· fambizforum.com.

· www.chrisyonker.com

· candorandcoherence.com

· Instagram: @candorandcoherence

Secret Thoughts of CEOS Ep. 144

Family Business at a Crossroads: Navigating Relationships, Governance &

with Ruschelle Khanna.

In this episode, host Chris Yonker delves into the intricacies of family business management with guest expert Ruschelle Khanna. They discuss the importance of family governance, handling narcissistic family members, and breaking cycles of resentment. Ruschelle shares her journey from therapy to working with ultra-high-net-worth families and offers actionable advice for next-gen leaders in family businesses. Listeners are encouraged to seek support and set clear boundaries to foster healthier family dynamics and long-term business success.

· 01:31 Guest Introduction: Rochelle's Journey

· 07:08 Chris Yoker's Background and Personal Story

· 08:09 Understanding Family Dynamics and Trauma

· 15:40 Navigating Family Business Challenges

· 23:49 Dealing with Narcissistic Family Members

· 28:42 Navigating Narcissistic Relationships

· 30:52 Setting Boundaries with Narcissists

· 32:32 The Importance of Family Governance

· 37:14 Educating the Next Generation

· 43:04 Addressing Family Resentments

· 49:53 Taking Action on Family Issues

Quotes

· "I started to see this overlap between. Money and health and family patterns and how it's all, we can't separate it at all." [05:58]

· " Do some work yourself, because you're the ripple that is gonna start impacting the rest of the family. And when you shift your whole family shifts."[19:02]

· " Yeah, because it's both, right? There's what a lot of times it's like, look, I believe you. Your family's difficult. I am not discrediting that. But you also are bringing a bunch of stuff that is probably not helpful, and that's usually what I see.' [52:09]

Websites:

· fambizforum.com.

· www.chrisyonker.com

· ruschellekhanna.com

· LinkedIn: @ruschellekhanna

Secret Thoughts of CEOS Ep. 143

Stop Leading on Autopilot: Mastering Conscious Communication.

With Chuck Wisner

In this episode, Chris Yonker dives into the family business world and effective communication strategies, with this week's guest, Chuck Wisner. Chuck is a seasoned advisor and coach in communication and leadership. Together, they discuss Chuck's book The Art of Conscious Conversations. The discussion explores themes such as the importance of examining hidden thoughts and stories that influence our communication patterns, the process of improving listening and communication skills, and strategies for facilitating effective conversations in high-stakes environments. Chuck shares insights on the value of awareness, vulnerability, and intention in transforming how we talk, listen, and interact, both in family settings and professional teams.

· 01:31 The Importance of Conscious Conversations

· 04:27 Understanding Conversational Patterns

· 09:44 The Power of Stories in Communication

· 14:29 Navigating Communication Challenges

· 17:45 Improving Listening and Understanding

· 20:36 The Practice of Managing Triggers

· 23:27 Building Better Conversations

· 25:19 The Power of Open-Handed Communication

· 28:02 Navigating Hostility in Teams and Families

· 28:58 Facilitation Techniques for Effective Dialogue

· 30:16 The Importance of Listening and Perspective Sharing

· 33:05 Leadership and the Power of Influence

· 41:09 Self-Awareness and Changing Behavioral

Quotes

· " I think we never were taught the ABCs of conversations, it's like, your notion about the fish and water. I use a similar quote all the time. We're like humans in conversation, not aware of the water we're swimming in, you know, we're just in it, because it's so habitual [07:58]

· " It's this ego thing of holding onto your position tightly, having the answer. Rather than saying, can I learn something, Can I be a little humble? [26:11]

· "My basic theory is the bigger the gap between what I'm seeing out loud and what I'm thinking, the more stress we live in.' [39:33]

Websites:

· fambizforum.com.

· www.chrisyonker.com

· The Art of Conscious Conversations by Chuck Wisner

· Chuckwisner.com

· Facebook: Chuck Wisner

· LinkedIn: Chuck Wisner

Secret Thoughts of CEOS Ep. 142

The Art of Transitions, Maintaining Harmony, and Heritage

with Scott Anderson

In this deeply revealing episode, Chris Yonker sits down with Scott Anderson, founder and CEO of Doubledare Executive Coaching and a licensed mental health therapist, to unpack the silent epidemic of burnout among entrepreneurs and executives. With personal experience as a serial entrepreneur and trauma-informed therapist, Scott shares the real definition of burnout, why high performers are most susceptible to it, and how to reverse it—quickly and permanently.

They explore the psychology behind overworking, the nervous system's role in stress addiction, and the cultural myths that keep us in cycles of burnout. Scott outlines a practical path to healing and freedom, including how to neutralize the stories that drive compulsive behavior, how to regulate stress in real-time, and what life looks like on the other side of burnout.

• 02:00 - What is burnout and how do we define it
• 04:20 - Scott's personal story: serial entrepreneurship and collapse
• 06:40 - The official definition and symptoms of burnout
• 08:30 - When rest doesn't help: signs it's not "just stress"
• 10:15 - The dangerous story behind entrepreneurial drive
• 14:00 - How childhood trauma contributes to burnout patterns
• 18:30 - Somatic stress recovery vs. "figuring it out" in your head
• 22:00 - R&R technique for real-time stress release
• 26:30 - What life after burnout looks like
• 32:00 - How to neutralize your most toxic stories

Quotes

· "Working harder and worrying more works - until it doesn't." [09:10]

· "The most dangerous part is that burnout actually predicts financial success. That's what makes it so insidious." [37:20]

· "Life beyond burnout is not a compromise. It's a profound upgrade." [39:30]

Websites:

· fambizforum.com.

· www.chrisyonker.com

· doubledareyou.us

· BurnoutBreakthrough.com – Learn more about Scott's programs and book

· FastFixCall.com – Schedule a free 15-minute triage call

· Burnout Breakthrough – Available through Scott's site

Scott's Bio:

Scott Anderson is the founder and CEO of Doubledare Executive Coaching and Consulting, and is a licensed mental health therapist. He has been featured in both Forbes and Entrepreneur Magazines, and has helped hundreds of entrepreneurs and high-performance executives break through painful plateaus and achieve even higher levels of success and fulfillment at work and at home.