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The Secrets Behind Hot Scenes: An Intimacy Coordinator Spills the Tea
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How do actors make chemistry look effortless? And what are the real tricks behind filming a hot scene without crossing a line?
This week, we go behind the scenes with a certified Intimacy Coordinator, Olivia Ku, who choreographs desire for a living — and keeps it safe, sexy, and authentic.
From closed-set secrets to modesty garments and confidence boosters, she reveals how boundaries, consent, and trust create the hottest moments on camera.
Enjoy!
Timestamps - Episode Highlights
0:00 – Welcome to the show: Slutty word of the episode – Tallahassee Night Train
2:06 – Olivia Ku introduction – Los Angeles based Intimacy Coordinator
3:46 – How Olivia got started:
- A young actor on TNT - “1000 Ways to Die” – asked to make out in a scene
without any advance discussion
- Social media influencer in health and wellness space
- Supporting survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault
6:33 – A lot of BDSM stories are happening now in the vertical world
7:53 – SAG has a list of accredited Intimacy Coordinating training organizations
8:04 – What is it like to be on set for a very steaming scene?
9:35 – Olivia can’t tell actors what they need – she’s here to listen to what each actor
needs
10:40 – Olivia’s involvement also depends on the Director’s approach
11:53 – What’s in a full intimacy kit!
12:09 – What goes into the process of creating an intimacy scene
15:20 – Verticals – 60 second Soap-opera like dramas to watch on your cell phone
17:26 – Tell us about Modesty Garments
19:10 – Weirdest object Olivia used on set as a modesty barrier
20:28 – Do actors ever get too into the role? Tongue versus no tongue kissing!
22:41 – Have you ever had to coach a sex scene that was painfully unsexy?
24:16 – Most ridiculous locations - from mansions to up against a bookshelf
25:48 – Awkwardness of choreographing simulated Oral Sex scenes
27:45 – Best choreographed oral sex scene – Bridgerton
27:53 – Favorite intimacy sex scene in a movie – Titanic
30:29 – Olivia would love to do more work in the Young Adult space and why!
33:33 – What actors should know before they start filming a sex or intimacy scene
35:32 – Common misconceptions about intimacy coordinators:
- Not the sex police OR HR!
- She is there for everyone – not just the lead actors
- Specific intimacy needs experts in that area – e.g., Shabari
39:00 – The best tip to help everyone at home have better cinematic sex – consent and
boundaries!
42:48 – What advice would you give your younger self about relationships?
Resources and mentions:
Follow Olivia Ku – Instagram @lovehealthok
Learn more about SAG Accredited Intimacy Coordinator Training Programs:
https://www.intimacyonset.com/sag-aftra-accredited-intimacy-coordinator-training
+ Subscribe for bi-monthly episodes.
+ Watch more on YouTube, Apple, and Spotify.
Hosted by: Missy Greenberg, Jordan Carlson & Tania Ross
Produced by: Missy Greenberg
Edited by: Charles E. Becker
Follow on:
IG: @thenotfromheremedia
Merch: www.notfromheremedia.com
TikTok: @notfromheremedia
Support the show
View all episodes
By Missy GreenbergSend a text
How do actors make chemistry look effortless? And what are the real tricks behind filming a hot scene without crossing a line?
This week, we go behind the scenes with a certified Intimacy Coordinator, Olivia Ku, who choreographs desire for a living — and keeps it safe, sexy, and authentic.
From closed-set secrets to modesty garments and confidence boosters, she reveals how boundaries, consent, and trust create the hottest moments on camera.
Enjoy!
Timestamps - Episode Highlights
0:00 – Welcome to the show: Slutty word of the episode – Tallahassee Night Train
2:06 – Olivia Ku introduction – Los Angeles based Intimacy Coordinator
3:46 – How Olivia got started:
- A young actor on TNT - “1000 Ways to Die” – asked to make out in a scene
without any advance discussion
- Social media influencer in health and wellness space
- Supporting survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault
6:33 – A lot of BDSM stories are happening now in the vertical world
7:53 – SAG has a list of accredited Intimacy Coordinating training organizations
8:04 – What is it like to be on set for a very steaming scene?
9:35 – Olivia can’t tell actors what they need – she’s here to listen to what each actor
needs
10:40 – Olivia’s involvement also depends on the Director’s approach
11:53 – What’s in a full intimacy kit!
12:09 – What goes into the process of creating an intimacy scene
15:20 – Verticals – 60 second Soap-opera like dramas to watch on your cell phone
17:26 – Tell us about Modesty Garments
19:10 – Weirdest object Olivia used on set as a modesty barrier
20:28 – Do actors ever get too into the role? Tongue versus no tongue kissing!
22:41 – Have you ever had to coach a sex scene that was painfully unsexy?
24:16 – Most ridiculous locations - from mansions to up against a bookshelf
25:48 – Awkwardness of choreographing simulated Oral Sex scenes
27:45 – Best choreographed oral sex scene – Bridgerton
27:53 – Favorite intimacy sex scene in a movie – Titanic
30:29 – Olivia would love to do more work in the Young Adult space and why!
33:33 – What actors should know before they start filming a sex or intimacy scene
35:32 – Common misconceptions about intimacy coordinators:
- Not the sex police OR HR!
- She is there for everyone – not just the lead actors
- Specific intimacy needs experts in that area – e.g., Shabari
39:00 – The best tip to help everyone at home have better cinematic sex – consent and
boundaries!
42:48 – What advice would you give your younger self about relationships?
Resources and mentions:
Follow Olivia Ku – Instagram @lovehealthok
Learn more about SAG Accredited Intimacy Coordinator Training Programs:
https://www.intimacyonset.com/sag-aftra-accredited-intimacy-coordinator-training
+ Subscribe for bi-monthly episodes.
+ Watch more on YouTube, Apple, and Spotify.
Hosted by: Missy Greenberg, Jordan Carlson & Tania Ross
Produced by: Missy Greenberg
Edited by: Charles E. Becker
Follow on:
IG: @thenotfromheremedia
Merch: www.notfromheremedia.com
TikTok: @notfromheremedia
Support the show