This reflection starts off as a survey of my latest thinking: a) the intellectual playbook and who owns it; b) maternal love; and c) the self as aspiration, illusion and form. I then move into a lengthy consideration of the the third thought (as relating to the self). Finally, I close with a mash-up of all three where I consider the self as anti-erasure work (particularly for people raised with a denied sense of self). Random points discussed: cognitive functions that are irrational and subjective; poetry; and emotional darkness. An assignment is given at the end and will be uploaded at www.yournidom.wordpress.com.