"Shame is the lie that tells you you're unworthy.

Healing is the truth that lets love in."

Glenn S. Cohen

@CenterForNI

Shame is one of the most powerful emotional patterns I’ve seen in over two decades of coaching. It's also one of the hardest to heal.

Even with all the incredible insights shared by people like John Bradshaw and Brené Brown, shame remains slippery, hard to name, harder to transform.

Through the lens of Neurological Intelligence, shame is more than an emotion. It's an energy. A toxic memory loop stored in the nervous system. Most of the time, shame isn’t happening now, it lives in the past. In those echoes are disempowered beliefs like, “I’m broken,” “I’m bad,” “I’m not enough.”

These aren’t just passing thoughts. They’re neurological programs. And humans are programmable. Repetition wires belief, and when shame gets wired in early, it shapes how we see the world. It becomes the lens. What’s happening now feels like what happened back then. The loop plays again and again.

Yes, shame feels emotional, but underneath it you’ll usually find anger, sadness, fear, or all three. When shame gets triggered in the present, it can hijack your nervous system. Suddenly your protective patterns show up and wreaks havoc on your inner and outer world.

As a child, I took on a lot of shame. I believed what others told me I was. Those beliefs stuck and they hurt. But they also lit a fire in me. A desire to heal, grow, evolve and help others do the same.

Brené Brown says shame and vulnerability are opposites. When we’re stuck in shame, we block vulnerability. And when we block vulnerability, we block love. We can give it, but we can’t fully receive it.

That’s the heartbreak. So many of us long for love but unknowingly block it. Years ago, during a healing session in Sedona, a guide said something I’ll never forget: “The purpose of your life is to learn how to receive.”

That landed deeply. For a long time, I didn’t know how to receive love, from others or myself. My journey has been about learning how.

Gerald Jampolsky reminds us: “Fear and love can never be experienced at the same time. It is always our choice which one we feel.”

Shame is fear in disguise. It whispers that we’re unworthy. And when we believe that lie, we block the very thing we want most, love. That belief keeps the pattern alive and our hearts closed.

Shame is like emotional rust. Silent, corrosive, and slow-moving until one day something breaks. You don’t realize how much strength it’s been stealing until you finally start to shine again. So I ask you…What part of you is ready to shine again if you stopped letting shame keep you small?

If this speaks to your heart, I’d love to hear your story. Visit centerforni.com to book a session. You can also listen to my podcast, Lessons of Life, Love, and Healing, on Apple or Spotify. Subscribe to my Substack for daily reflections, and enjoy my free gift to you: The CNI – Spiritual Soulful Healing Playlist on Spotify.

Big hugs and lots of love,God bless,Glenn 🙏🌻

Get full access to Neurological Intelligence: Lessons in LIfe, Love and Healing at centerforni.substack.com/subscribe