Scintillating Sunday has moved in to Magic Monday, and we’re blissfully counting our ever-growing mountain of gold.

Where do we start? Logan Martin picked up an unlikely gold in BMX, leaving the nation in a bunny-hop lather and sending his real estate agent scrambling for an effective way to market a BMX track.

Matt Wearn won our first ‘welfare’ gold by simply ‘turning up’, while chronic over-achiever Rohan Browning momentarily reignited our passion for the 100m dash. Will he be immediately be instated as an IOC dignitary?

Emma McKeon is now officially our 'Greatest Ever Olympian'. But now that the swimming is over, we're left staring at a dangerous cliff face for national morale. Not only this, our swimmers are facing the ignominy of lame virtual celebrations upon return. Should we divert the Medicare levy to our triumphant athletes as compensation? Or sell their gold for Brownlow Medals?

Then we talk aggressive Chinese sprinters, (passive) aggressive Jamaican sprinters, and whether Bruce McAvaney is being bullied for being too professional.

Audio production courtesy of Tim ‘T-Dog’ Eldridge. Graphic design courtesy of Julia Edwards.

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