Have you been in a situation where you were so focused on a particular event in your life that you completely forgot about everything else? 

Has it ever occurred to you that empathising with someone else could also get you the results you want? 

What if the failures you have had were giving you a kind of feedback that you could take into your next successful venture? 

How about that time when you felt that something was impossible until someone else made it happen?

Understanding our mindset and self-talk under challenging situations can be the difference between success and failure. 

When we face a difficult challenge, we ask ourselves if we are moving towards our goal or away from it. 

E.g. What do I want? What's my end goal? What resources are available? 

Or

What is wrong? Why is it a problem? What caused it? 

Thinking about our actions as feedback or failure can be vital in determining our success. 

If we regularly think about feedback, we will ask questions like 

What did I learn? What's the next thing to improve? There is an unconscious belief that "Everyone wants me to succeed."

 

On the contrary, if we focus on problems, we might ask, " Why did I lose?" "Am I a failure?". We could have an unconscious belief that "No one wants me to succeed".

Lastly, when dealing with problems, if we think of them as possibilities, we would have a mindset that focuses on learning and growth. We would habitually ask questions like, "What else can I do?", "What are my options?", "What will get me results?". 

On the flip side, If we think about the "impossible", we would potentially ask questions such as, "Is this even worth my effort?", "Am I wasting my time?". We will fear change and want to maintain the status quo or remain ignorant. 

Looking back at our Six facets, "Outcomes vs. Problems", "Feedback vs. Failure", and "Possibilities vs. Impossibilities", we all have been in situations where we have had one kind of thinking or another. 

We always respond the best way we think. There isn't a right or wrong. We have to ensure that whatever we choose, our focus needs to be towards the future. 

So what can we do:

* Practice Gratitude. Be thankful for the problems and adversity in your life. They are there to help you grow.

* Practice understanding your mindset and believe that you can change

* Have the courage to challenge your thinking and try to do something uncomfortable each day. 

* Practice understanding your emotions via meditation and mindfulness. 

We can only focus on the future by thinking about future possibilities. Past is always there for lessons. 

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Chander Shankar

NLP Coach and Mentor

Enkindle and Empower Pty Ltd

http://www.enkindleandempower.com/

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