A Real Talk on Attraction, Consent, and the Business of Kink

Solomon Abrams — rope artist, Grey Stone Dojo instructor, and head of the American Gallery — returns from a break to unpack a debate he's seen play out over and over in kink spaces: is BDSM inherently sexual, or is that framing outdated?

Solomon lays out his own framework of laws, rules, and guidelines to separate what's truly non-negotiable in BDSM (consent) from what's more flexible (negotiation practices, personal boundaries around sex and arousal). From there, he argues that for many practitioners — himself included — sexual attraction, arousal, and gratification are woven into the fabric of BDSM and rope bondage, even when genitals are never touched. He traces how rope harnesses evolved to avoid unintended arousal, why some dungeons draw hard lines around sex, and how the rise of "BDSM as therapy" has complicated the conversation around licensing, ethics, and who gets to hold space for these practices.

The episode also digs into thornier territory: the dynamics between tops and bottoms around reciprocity and pleasure, how sexual attraction shapes who people choose to play with, the difference between BDSM as a paid service versus a private practice, and why he believes clarity and honesty about what you want — sexual or not — matters more than picking a side in the "is it about sex" debate.

Part personal reflection, part community critique, this is Simon at his most unfiltered — talking through hygiene norms, sex work, aftercare, and what it really means to be upfront about desire in kink spaces.

Content note: This episode contains frank, explicit discussion of sex, BDSM practices, and adult themes. Listener discretion advised.

I follow an amazing photographer and rigger by the name of Tanto( IG: @tanto.ropes). Now their rope is clean and crisp and their photos are fun and captivating. Recently they have began posting different bits of information and thoughts using AI imagery in such a vibrant way. One of those post was about the 7 lessons Tanto has learned over then last 15 years as a rigger. The lessons posted are in alignment with THE ABRAMATIC LAWS. I dug this so much I had to speak on it. So shout out to Tanto and his journey and for being open to me using his thoughts and art for this post. Please Tanto’s page on IG. Peace and Blessings to Tanto

(The following images are screenshots were created by the owner of the IG page Tanto Ropes(IG: Tanto.ropes) using AI. All rights reserved) are held by them.

https://allmylinks.com/nawashi-tanto

In this episode Solomon reads from and explains the Four Foundational Knots(Double Coin Knot, Square Knot, Trinity Knot And True Lover’s Knot, he used to build upward. And the Four PATHWAYS/APPROACHES OF CONNECTIVE ROPE BONDAGE( Sensual, Seductive, Holistic and Spiritual).

To purchase the book click the link.

https://a.co/d/055lLAsm

After a long hiatus from recording episodes, Solomon is back in a very plain and raw way. This man is tired, 😂🤣. Solomon starts off explaining how much he has dealt with fatigue in the kink space and the RANT flood gates are open from there. He discusses how he is fatigued with different part of the community. From fake queer people to Rope bottoms to the internet. Solomon talks about different tiring m, fatigue inducing situations. He does a lot of ranting without any attempt of solution.

Like, share and subscribe to the Patreon channel for more

🎙️ Welcome to Episode 14 of the Solomon Abrams Podcast, where we dive deep into the art of teaching and learning. In this episode, Solomon unpacks the six essential elements that constitute a genuine class: Presentation, Education, Demonstration, Participation, Evaluation, and Certification. He shares his insights on how these components foster effective learning experiences, drawing from his unique background as an instructor shaped by military training. Whether you're a seasoned educator or someone eager to share knowledge, Solomon's practical framework will enhance your approach to teaching and empower your students. Tune in for a thoughtful exploration of what truly makes a class impactful and leave with actionable strategies to elevate your teaching game. Remember to subscribe, rate, and share your thoughts!

🎙️ Welcome back to the Solomon Abrams Podcast! This week, we're diving into the world of dungeon etiquette—an essential conversation for both seasoned kinksters and those just stepping into the community. Join me as I unpack the nuances of navigating BDSM spaces, from respecting personal belongings and understanding the layout to engaging with others mindfully. Whether you’re a rigger, bottom, or simply an enthusiastic observer, knowing these customs can significantly enhance your experience and the experiences of those around you. Tune in as we share insights from recent events and break down the bridge between BDSM and swinging communities. Remember, it's all about courtesy, respect, and having a great time! Don't forget to rate and share if you enjoy the content. Let's keep this conversation going!

Solomon Abrams—owner of Greystone Dojo and the Urban American Gallery, and author of The Abramatic Laws of Connective Rope—opens this episode with a reset. After a run of heavier, more intense conversations, he shifts toward something more foundational: rope. In this installment, Solomon focuses on practical, beginner-friendly rope education. He breaks down different types of rope, shares his personal opinions on what each is best used for, and offers a clear, brief overview meant to help listeners build a solid base of knowledge. He also touches on the idea of exploring the history of Shibari in the future, while acknowledging the complications and differing perspectives around how those traditions are discussed and represented today. Available on Apple Podcasts and Patreon, with more platforms coming soon.

In this episode I discuss our need for bottom focused education and information based on the rope bottoms view point.

We open with a quick reading of Abramatic Law #4, which discusses the LIVING TRINITY OF ROPE: the rope, the bottom and the top. Understanding the each is important as it relates to harmony and balance. I touch on a brief history lesson and then discuss why I feel it’s important to educate people who want to begin their journeys as a bottom just as and in some cases more important than those who want to be tops. I highlight two books; The Rope Bottom’s Guide by clover and Somatics for Rope Bottoms by Natasha NawaTaneko. I read the 12 Inquires from the book and do my best to answer them for the perspective as a rope top. I hit up against some very important conversation starters that feel important.

I hope this is the beginning of more conversation on rope bottom centered information.

Below is a list of the 12 Somantic Inquiries.

12 Somantic Inquiries

1. Why do you seek the experience of being tied.

2. Where does your desires come from and how can we honor them?

3. Where does your attention go when you are in ropes?

4. What can you do to let your partner know how you feel, without speaking up?

5. What are the ways you can use breathing to create a better experience in ropes?

6. What is the source of your resilience in rope?

7. Where are your limits and whose responsibility is it to recognize them?

8. Why do you want to surrender and what allows you to do so?

9. What makes you feel safe in rope bondage?

10. Which pain can you welcome and when do you decide to stop?

11. Why rope bondage can be the place to embrace all your emotions, even the difficult ones?

12. Which risk can you take and where to stop exploring?

In the final act of the Red Flag Theatre, I discuss what I believe are red flags with bottoms, submissives, slaves etc. I speak about ways I believe bottoms can be toxic, manipulative, needy, and disruptive. This is not an exhaustive list nor is it a definitive concrete example of red flags for every scenario. Just some cone issues that can be considered red flags to most. I also talk about some red flags for subs/bottoms who seek out fin-Dommes. No matter where you stand this series and this episode are good conversation starters.

In this Episode of the Solomon Abrams podcast, I get into the second act of the RED FLAG THEATRE with tops, Doms, Domes, Goddesses, Ma'ams, Mistresses, Goddesses and every other person who identifies as a person of authority with in this culture. I do my best to outline what I believe to be bad actors and their red flags. Bad acting Tops/Dtypes, in the community the largest percentage of those people whose acts can and usually are detrimental to the community. By pointing out some of the common red flags it can possibly help people make more informed decisions.