The Something to Say Podcast

In this second conversation with Tanya, she returns with an important message: it wasn't her fault. The responsibility belonged entirely to the person who groomed and abused her.

Drawing on what she now understands, Tanya talks about how grooming can happen, what those who groom children may look for, and why children can never be responsible for the manipulation of an adult.

She also shares what she wishes the adults around her had known, including some of the behaviours and changes parents and carers can be aware of, and the importance of creating a relationship where children feel able to talk when something doesn't feel right.

This conversation isn't only about looking back. Tanya is sharing what she's learned in the hope that greater understanding can help parents recognise grooming earlier, have important conversations with their children and help protect them from abuse.

Above all, her message is clear. A child is never to blame for being groomed or abused. The responsibility always lies with the person who chose to harm them.

If you found this conversation valuable, please consider subscribing. Every subscriber helps us reach more people, increase understanding of child sexual abuse, and continue creating conversations that protect children and support survivors. 💚

To connect with Tanya;

Instagram: @tmmoore17

Book: https://mybook.to/dayilearnedtopumpgas

Join our YouTube or Patreon Memberships for extra content and early access:

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/SomethingtoSay

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This podcast provides a platform for contributors to share their own lived experiences. Unless expressly stated otherwise, Something to Say has not independently verified the factual accuracy of statements made by contributors and does not endorse or adopt any allegations, assertions, opinions or conclusions expressed in this podcast.

This podcast provides a platform for contributors to share their own lived experiences. Unless expressly stated otherwise, Something to Say has not independently verified the factual accuracy of statements made by contributors and does not endorse or adopt any allegations, assertions, opinions or conclusions expressed in this podcast.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this deeply personal reflection with Anu, a CSA survivor and trauma professional, she explore how behaviours such as people pleasing, overworking, overachieving, seeking approval and hyper-independence can develop in response to difficult experiences earlier in life.

The conversation looks at how these patterns may once have helped us feel safer, accepted or in control, but can continue long after the circumstances that created them have changed.

Through her own experiences, she reflects on learning to recognise these patterns, understanding what sits behind them and creating a pause between an automatic response and a conscious choice.

This isn't about giving up ambition, independence, kindness or achievement. It's about asking where those behaviours come from, what they may be costing us today, and whether we're still choosing them.

Perhaps the most important question is a simple one: what if this isn't simply who I am, but something I learned to do?

To contact Anu:

https://victim2victor.net

https://silentscreamsdramafeaturefilm...

https://www.instagram.com/victim2victor_anuverma/

https://www.instagram.com/silentscreams_dramafeaturefilm/

https://www.facebook.com/anuvermaV2V

https://uk.linkedin.com/in/anuvermav2v

https://linktr.ee/healing.journeyy

Podcasts: https://apple.co/3wHvUof https://spoti.fi/36D6ZYE

Thank you, Anu, for sharing your story and expertise with us 💚.

Join our YouTube or Patreon Memberships for extra content and early access: https://www.patreon.com/c/SomethingtoSay

YouTube membership: https://www.youtube.com/@SomethingtoSayofficial/membership

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TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

This podcast provides a platform for contributors to share their own lived experiences. Unless expressly stated otherwise, Something to Say has not independently verified the factual accuracy of statements made by contributors and does not endorse or adopt any allegations, assertions, opinions or conclusions expressed in this podcast.

This podcast provides a platform for contributors to share their own lived experiences. Unless expressly stated otherwise, Something to Say has not independently verified the factual accuracy of statements made by contributors and does not endorse or adopt any allegations, assertions, opinions or conclusions expressed in this podcast.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Aziza Kibibi is a chef, author, activist, entrepreneur, mother and founder of Precious Little Ladies, Inc. In this deeply personal interview, Aziza shares her experience of surviving prolonged childhood sexual abuse, gender-based violence and psychological abuse by her biological father.

Abused from the age of eight and isolated from the outside world, Aziza describes how manipulation, secrecy and the normalisation of abuse affected her understanding of relationships, consent, identity and her own sense of self. She also reflects on the impact abuse had on her family and the challenges she faced after escaping at 24, including rebuilding her education, raising her children and navigating life outside the environment she had known.

Aziza went on to graduate from college, write her book Unashamed, report her father to authorities, and establish Precious Little Ladies, Inc. She is also working to change legislation around incest in New Jersey through what she calls "Aziz Law".

Throughout the conversation, Aziza speaks about the importance of listening to survivors, understanding how grooming and manipulation can affect a person's perception of what is happening, and using lived experience to improve awareness and prevention.

Her message is ultimately about survival, identity, hope and the importance of creating a world where children are safer and survivors are heard and understood.

Some stories are difficult to hear, but understanding how abuse happens is part of preventing it. 💚

To contact Aziza:

LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/1azizakibibi

Youtube and Instagram:  ⁨@AzizaKibibi⁩ 

TikTok: @iamazizakibibi

Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/author/B014LN67DK (UK) and https://www.amazon.com/stores/Aziza-Kibibi/author/B014LN67DK (US and non-UK)

Website: https://pllnonprofit.com

Join our YouTube or Patreon Memberships for extra content and early access: https://www.patreon.com/c/SomethingtoSay

YouTube membership: https://www.youtube.com/@SomethingtoSayofficial/membership

To follow us on social media: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somethingtosayofficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1 Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

This podcast provides a platform for contributors to share their own lived experiences. Unless expressly stated otherwise, Something to Say has not independently verified the factual accuracy of statements made by contributors and does not endorse or adopt any allegations, assertions, opinions or conclusions expressed in this recording. 

This podcast provides a platform for contributors to share their own lived experiences. Unless expressly stated otherwise, Something to Say has not independently verified the factual accuracy of statements made by contributors and does not endorse or adopt any allegations, assertions, opinions or conclusions expressed in this podcast.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Clinical psychologist Dr Emily combines professional expertise with her own lived experience of childhood trauma to explain why child abuse is so often hidden in plain sight. She explores why many children don't disclose abuse, how fear, shame, manipulation and loyalty can keep them silent, and why disclosure is often a gradual process rather than a single conversation.

Drawing on psychology and personal experience, Dr Emily explains how abusive relationships can distort a child's understanding of love, safety and what is considered normal. She discusses the long-term impact of abuse, including shame, complex trauma, difficulties with trust, and why many survivors only recognise the abuse years later. She also examines why families, professionals and institutions sometimes miss the warning signs, and how secrecy can allow abuse to continue.

Importantly, this conversation also offers hope. Dr Emily explains how healing is possible through safe relationships, effective therapy, and the brain's remarkable ability to adapt. She shares practical guidance on how adults, schools and communities can create environments where children feel safe enough to ask for help, and why listening with curiosity and compassion can change a child's life.

If you're a parent, teacher, professional, survivor, or simply want to better understand the lasting impact of childhood abuse, this is an important conversation about recognising the signs, challenging common misconceptions, and helping protect children.

To contact Dr Emily on Instagram: @dremilythepsychologist

Join our YouTube or Patreon Memberships for extra content and early access:

https://www.patreon.com/c/SomethingtoSay

YouTube membership: https://www.youtube.com/@SomethingtoSayofficial/membership

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This podcast provides a platform for contributors to share their own lived experiences. Unless expressly stated otherwise, Something to Say has not independently verified the factual accuracy of statements made by contributors and does not endorse or adopt any allegations, assertions, opinions or conclusions expressed in this recording. 

This podcast provides a platform for contributors to share their own lived experiences. Unless expressly stated otherwise, Something to Say has not independently verified the factual accuracy of statements made by contributors and does not endorse or adopt any allegations, assertions, opinions or conclusions expressed in this podcast.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rafael Viola was just nine years old when he was placed into the care of the local authority. Over the years that followed, he lived in five children's homes, where he says he experienced physical, psychological, and sexual abuse.

In this powerful interview, Rafael reflects on the lifelong impact of childhood abuse, from the loss of trust and interrupted education to mental health struggles, addiction, and suicide attempts. He also shares what has helped him continue, speaking openly, connecting with other survivors, and campaigning for accountability.

The conversation also explores Rafael Viola’s ongoing fight for justice, including his involvement in major public inquiries that cost around £200 million, yet whose key recommendations remain unimplemented.

This interview contains discussions of child sexual abuse, suicide, and trauma that some viewers may find distressing.

If you found this conversation valuable, please consider subscribing. Every subscriber helps us reach more people, increase understanding of child sexual abuse, and continue creating conversations that protect children and support survivors. 💚

To contact Rafael:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rafael-viola-228721158/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/violarafael

X: https://x.com/rafael_voila

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@stealinglives_

Book: https://stealinglivesbook.com

Join our YouTube or Patreon Memberships for extra content and early access: https://www.patreon.com/c/SomethingtoSay

YouTube membership: https://www.youtube.com/@SomethingtoSayofficial/membership

To follow us on social media:

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

This podcast provides a platform for contributors to share their own lived experiences. Unless expressly stated otherwise, Something to Say has not independently verified the factual accuracy of statements made by contributors and does not endorse or adopt any allegations, assertions, opinions or conclusions expressed in this recording. 

This podcast provides a platform for contributors to share their own lived experiences. Unless expressly stated otherwise, Something to Say has not independently verified the factual accuracy of statements made by contributors and does not endorse or adopt any allegations, assertions, opinions or conclusions expressed in this podcast.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

EXCLUSIVELY FOR WORLD SUICIDE PREVENTION DAY

For years, conversations around childhood trauma have rightly focused on CSA awareness, but there’s another form of abuse that often goes unseen: children witnessing domestic violence inside their own homes.

In this video, Luke shares the impact of growing up in an environment shaped by fear, violence, and silence. As a neurodivergent child, he witnessed his mother being beaten by his birth father behind closed doors while the outside world saw nothing unusual. To neighbours, friends, and even professionals, his father appeared calm, respectable, and unsuspecting.

Luke also speaks about the deep sense of betrayal he felt from local services that failed to protect his family when help was needed most. The abuse may not have always been directed at him physically, but witnessing it left lasting psychological scars that followed him into adulthood.

For decades, Luke buried what he had seen. The anxiety, emotional struggles, and mental health difficulties stayed with him throughout his life, but he never fully spoke about the trauma, until his mid-30s, when he finally began therapy. His therapist became the first person he had ever told the full truth to.

This story is a reminder that children do not have to be physically assaulted to be deeply harmed by abuse. Witnessing domestic violence can shape a child’s nervous system, self-worth, relationships, and mental health for years to come.

If this video resonates with you, or if you grew up around domestic abuse, know that your experiences matter and deserve to be acknowledged.

To contact Luke: http://www.linkedin.com/in/luke-appleyard-140284293

Join our YouTube or Patreon Memberships for extra content and early access:

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/SomethingtoSay

YouTube membership: https://www.youtube.com/@SomethingtoSayofficial

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

This podcast provides a platform for contributors to share their own lived experiences. Unless expressly stated otherwise, Something to Say has not independently verified the factual accuracy of statements made by contributors and does not endorse or adopt any allegations, assertions, opinions or conclusions expressed in this recording. 

This podcast provides a platform for contributors to share their own lived experiences. Unless expressly stated otherwise, Something to Say has not independently verified the factual accuracy of statements made by contributors and does not endorse or adopt any allegations, assertions, opinions or conclusions expressed in this podcast.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Honour-based abuse isn't only about the extreme cases we hear about in the media. It can also involve controlling where someone goes, who they see, whether they can work or study, who they marry, and whether they're allowed to make decisions about their own life.

In this deeply personal video, Arzia shares her experience of growing up in a family where control, physical abuse, forced marriage and isolation were part of everyday life.

Arzia speaks about being one of seven siblings, being prevented from pursuing education and work, and being forced into marriage at 16. She describes being taken to Bangladesh against her wishes, having her passport taken, and being prevented from returning home.

She also reflects on what it was like to speak about the abuse and not be believed, including being told that she was imagining or exaggerating what had happened.

Her story highlights how abuse can remain hidden when people outside the home see only a carefully maintained image of a respectable family.

This is a difficult story, but it's an important conversation about honour-based abuse, coercive control, child abuse, forced marriage, and the ways silence and disbelief can allow harm to continue. 💚

To contact Arzia:

Youtube: https://youtube.com/@arziaabbasi1121

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arzia786

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1CDrkXMCv3/

Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/🔥arzia-abbasi-23187164

Join our YouTube or Patreon Memberships for extra content and early access: https://www.patreon.com/c/SomethingtoSay

YouTube membership: https://www.youtube.com/@SomethingtoSayofficial/membership

To follow us on social media:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somethingtosayofficial

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

This podcast provides a platform for contributors to share their own lived experiences. Unless expressly stated otherwise, Something to Say has not independently verified the factual accuracy of statements made by contributors and does not endorse or adopt any allegations, assertions, opinions or conclusions expressed in this podcast.

This podcast provides a platform for contributors to share their own lived experiences. Unless expressly stated otherwise, Something to Say has not independently verified the factual accuracy of statements made by contributors and does not endorse or adopt any allegations, assertions, opinions or conclusions expressed in this podcast.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

At just 13 years old, Oli entered a relationship with an 18-year-old woman, a relationship that was known by friends, family, and teachers but never stopped. In this honest reflection, he explores how childhood sexual abuse can be misunderstood, particularly when the victim is male.

He discusses how his partner was also a victim of severe abuse, how previous experiences of online grooming and sexual assault shaped his understanding of relationships, and how the abuse affected his perception of consent, sexuality, and healthy boundaries for years.

Oli also reflects on the lasting impact of early internet exploitation, why many male survivors fail to recognise what happened to them until adulthood, and how these experiences have made him determined to protect his own daughter and raise awareness of child sexual abuse and online safety.

To contact Oli:

Website: https://www.olidnejad.com

Substack: https://drolidelgaramnejad.substack.com

Medium: https://medium.com/@c0gn8pgr

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Insideschizophreniahrenia

Join our YouTube or Patreon Memberships for extra content and early access: https://www.patreon.com/c/SomethingtoSay

YouTube membership: / @somethingtosayofficial

To follow us on social media:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somethingtosayofficial

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

This podcast provides a platform for contributors to share their own lived experiences. Unless expressly stated otherwise, Something to Say has not independently verified the factual accuracy of statements made by contributors and does not endorse or adopt any allegations, assertions, opinions or conclusions expressed in this recording. 

This podcast provides a platform for contributors to share their own lived experiences. Unless expressly stated otherwise, Something to Say has not independently verified the factual accuracy of statements made by contributors and does not endorse or adopt any allegations, assertions, opinions or conclusions expressed in this podcast.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Gigi Kilroe shares her journey through profound loss, abuse, and recovery.

After losing her mother at five, she developed unhealthy coping mechanisms that followed her into adulthood. She speaks openly about surviving domestic abuse and two sexual assaults, the lasting impact trauma had on her relationships, self-worth, and boundaries, and how years of suppressed memories eventually resurfaced through a powerful flashback.

The interview also explores the life-changing role of trauma-informed therapy and ends with Gigi revealing disturbing interactions with her half-brother that previously unrecognised childhood sexual abuse. Her story is a powerful reminder that healing is possible, even after decades of silence.

To contact Gigi: Instagram and Threads - @gk797979

Join our YouTube or Patreon Memberships for extra content and early access:

https://www.patreon.com/c/SomethingtoSay

YouTube membership: / @somethingtosayofficial

To follow us on social media:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somethingtosayofficial

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

This podcast provides a platform for contributors to share their own lived experiences. Unless expressly stated otherwise, Something to Say has not independently verified the factual accuracy of statements made by contributors and does not endorse or adopt any allegations, assertions, opinions or conclusions expressed in this recording. 

This podcast provides a platform for contributors to share their own lived experiences. Unless expressly stated otherwise, Something to Say has not independently verified the factual accuracy of statements made by contributors and does not endorse or adopt any allegations, assertions, opinions or conclusions expressed in this podcast.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Content warning: This video contains themes of sexual abuse. If you think it may be triggering for you please take care when listening. The thoughts and opinions expressed by our contributors are not necessarily those held by Something to Say. The thoughts and opinions expressed by Professor Selena Bartlett are her own and do not necessarily reflect the views of any institutions or organisations with which she is affiliated.

In this interview, neuroscientist Professor Selena Bartlett explains how child sexual abuse (CSA) can affect brain development, leading to challenges such as anxiety, dissociation, relationship difficulties, and shame later in life.

She emphasizes that these responses are survival mechanisms rather than signs of weakness or damage. Bartlett discusses how trauma can influence memory, identity, and emotional wellbeing, while highlighting the role of neuroplasticity in recovery.

Her key message is that healing is possible through safety, supportive relationships, therapy, and community, and that breaking the silence around abuse is essential for both individual and societal change.

To contact Professor Selena Bartlett:

Website: https://www.profselenabartlett.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@professorselenabartlett/

Threads: https://www.threads.com/@prof_selena_bartlett

Instagram: @prof_selena_bartlett

Join our YouTube or Patreon Memberships for extra content and early access:

Patreon: / somethingtosay

YouTube membership: / @somethingtosayofficial

To follow us on social media:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somethingtosayofficial

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/somethingtosayofficial1

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/something-to-say1

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somethingtosayofficial

This podcast provides a platform for contributors to share their own lived experiences. Unless expressly stated otherwise, Something to Say has not independently verified the factual accuracy of statements made by contributors and does not endorse or adopt any allegations, assertions, opinions or conclusions expressed in this recording. 

This podcast provides a platform for contributors to share their own lived experiences. Unless expressly stated otherwise, Something to Say has not independently verified the factual accuracy of statements made by contributors and does not endorse or adopt any allegations, assertions, opinions or conclusions expressed in this podcast.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.